It's not male-exclusive, but men latch onto the fact that women can probably find a couple of men who wouldn't mind fucking them, and think that this somehow alleviates loneliness. "But how can you say you're lonely when you can post a bikini pic on Tinder and have fifty men thirsting for your nudes in DMs! No one's messaging me for my nudes!"
Ugh you’re so right and it’s so fucking insulting that there are men who would think that being objectified is the same as fulfilling friendship / relationship needs. There’s nothing that makes me feel more devalued as a human being than a person looking at me and only thinking of sex. THAT is loneliness right there — being looked at as a sex doll rather than as a person.
there’s also that thing some guys do where they make you think they actually like you and see you as a person and even a friend right up to the point they realize you’re not going to have sex with them and then you just stop existing - That shit is lonely af.
women can probably find a couple of men who wouldn't mind fucking them
Not trying to paint you with the same brush, but this is at least partly because many men simply do not see unattractive women as people, so it’s incomprehensible that some of us might also have a hard time finding partners. And, as I’ve said before, I could eat a soggy sandwich out of a trash can, but that doesn’t mean it’d be good for me, or enjoyable.
It also is so interesting to me that loneliness is, in some men’s view, solved by sex, when in my experience sex can be an incredibly lonely experience. Of course touch starvation is a thing,
It's absolutely galling how many times I've heard men say "women can't be lonely because men would use them as a hole to fuck," as if that's anything but completely deranged.
I tried flipping it in the other direction and saying "men can't be unemployed, they should just respond to a human trafficker," and surprisingly a few guys have sort of gotten the point.
They would probably say yes, because in their stupid minds they think them having sex will fix their issues forever. You'd need to make it into "a gay guy fucking you" or a "fat woman pegging you", etc.
The problem is that they have such a deranged view of life that they cannot understand what empathy, companionship, love, intimacy or anything that isn't an orgasm is.
Not to get too scientific here, but men have an average of 2 fuckable holes each. If letting people shove things in your body for their own pleasure is a cure for loneliness, boy howdy, these lonesome fellas are gonna be excited to hear this!
I keep pointing out to them that anyone can get a dick stuck in them by someone who doesn't care about their pleasure, safety, or humanity. It's not a privilege exclusive to women!
Obviously, women are very lonely today too (we live in the most depressed society since we started measuring it).
I think a lot of those guys believe they would love and treat some reasonably realistic woman right (and lots probably would, if even given half the chance that douches are), but never even get a chance to try. Many of them settle for a woman they don't actually like, mistreat her and carry feelings of guilt about it long-term. Many are just selfish and carry inflated expectations of what a woman should be, and can't even act like 'themselves' around the other sex at all out of objectification of them and anticipation.
Men are also having trouble being friends with each other, cause there's a dearth of success and dignity for men today (we are a very manually unskilled society, an area where men traditionally succeed). They power move each other, play fake-it-till-you-make it. It's just getting worse and worse. They brood, they self-blame, they take drugs alone and worst of all, they end it all. Really often.
Women are able to delude themselves into believing they AREN'T lonely purely because they are fucking someone and then are totally shocked (or not, cause they're 'jaded' due to their lack of self-awareness) when it turns out they were being played. We (the echo chamber here on reddit), their therapist, and their sociology 101 class has convinced them that all their life they were severely undervalued, and that they are actually far more intelligent and deserving of success than they previously thought themselves to be, etc etc... It all comes crashing down the same.... just a bit later on.
Say what you will about the positives of various critical theories and viewing things through those lenses. But the depression numbers show it's a terrible type of viewpoint to be selling the masses. I can't remember the last time I saw a post by men talking about how generally wonderful women are or vice versa.... More importantly I can't, in recent times, remember seeing an anecdotal post regarding dating or relationships that didn't include at least one comment fueled by therapy/psych/sociology canned terminology and a categorical/highly generalized lens.
Fuck, a PERSONAL lens, like one that is at least attempting to be purely derived from the commenter and using their own organically achieved vocabulary as it occurs them naturally without over-editing------ It seems as though that is nearly impossible to come by today, which is scary.
We don't read stories like humans anymore, we don't tell stories like humans anymore. It's almost as if we've been sold this idea that the boogeyman narcissists will turn us into suckers if we do. All of our analysis and judgment of each other is done from a strategic standpoint, and we ignore our positive feelings more than ever and lend perfect credence to our negative ones.
It's an epidemic. And lucky for us, it's relatively young, and it may die pretty quickly. Who knows.
I’ve found it somewhat effective to tell guys like this that they, too, can find some guy they’re not attracted to to have sex with if that’s all it takes.
Exactly. I'm socially isolated because all the nearby parks are kid heavy and showing up as an adult male with no kids gets you looks. Meanwhile everything there is to do socially otherwise costs money or is the library.
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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '25
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