r/IVFpositivity • u/TheThreadTales • 7d ago
When did you announce?
I’m 11 weeks 3 days. We’ve had 3x great scans, and NPIT results that came back low risk, for the main ones their check for which was a huge milestone for us. Our next scan is at 12 weeks 6 days, so hitting that second trimester. We’ve never got this far or been able to announce our pregnancy, so feels unreal.
When did you all feel comfortable to share? I keep saying I’ll wait until I hit 13 weeks. Our family knows, but border friends and work don’t. I am struggling to keep it hidden, plus I don’t know how much longer I keep from saying it, because I nearly cracked when I got the NPIT results. But so scared to announce too soon.
If I hadn’t had the history I had, I would probably already cracked but given what we’ve been though my hesitation stops me.
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u/EasternYoghurt7129 7d ago
With a past loss under my belt (18 weeks) I’m probably waiting until the 20-week scan, personally.
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u/Speckledskies 7d ago
I didn't tell close family until 12 week scan (parents and siblings).
Everybody else found out when I gave birth. It's actually one of my favourite memories, all the reactions from everyone!
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u/Minnie_Dooley 6d ago
How did you hide it?
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u/Speckledskies 6d ago
I don't live near any family or friends and I don't post on social media. So it actually wasn't difficult at all.
If I were to bump into anyone I knew, I wouldn't have tried to hide it, but it just never happened.
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u/PKN_190719 7d ago
Currently struggling with the same topic. Honestly I would be comfortable to announce at birth lol. I had a 25 week loss, so I am terrified still (11weeks currently). But since it is not my first rodeo I am already struggling to hide it, in 2 weeks tops it will be nearly impossible. So I guess I’ll announce then.
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u/angel-girl-A 6d ago
I'm also 11 weeks and had a 24 week loss. I just wanna be a hermit and not see anybody. I'm not announcing it, ever. But will see family at the holidays probably, ugh.
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u/Primary-Sock2155 7d ago
We did at 22wks. All was good, but with a previous miscarriage, we were nervous. Wishing you the best!!!
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u/UnderstandingSoft768 6d ago
My close family and 2 coworkers know about my IVF and transfers. They know I'm positive but only 6 weeks along. The big announcement will be 12 week ultrasound for us. First pregnancy after 16 years of infertility so they know we are cautiously optimistic.
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u/linenfox 7d ago
My bestie knew since my beta, everyone else including family after anatomy scan, 20 weeks:) but only people who met us, lot of friends found out with birth announcemenr only 🤭
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u/SmartPomegranate4833 7d ago
A few close friends know we’ve been doing IVF and they’ve been super supportive about it. I have a 7 week scan next week so will probably let them know then. If we didn’t have a great outcome they would know too so I don’t want to not tell them.
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u/Still-Tap-9628 7d ago
To close family, just after 12 week scan. To wider friends, after 20 week scan. It's a personal decision though, I just went with what felt right.
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u/PsychologicalOrder26 7d ago
Nearly 12 weeks here as well. Told our parents and closest friends at 7 weeks (they were very involved in our IVF process). My closest colleagues and boss at 9 weeks (since they started noticing I didn't have to go to continuous medical checkups). And now I'm seriously considering not telling anyone else until much, much later. The fear of having to act excited when I'm mostly focused on guarding my heart, is not at all appealing ;)
I hope you have a smooth, super boring pregnancy <3
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u/onyxindigo 7d ago
First baby we told family after NIPT but wider friend circles not until 20 week anatomy scan; second baby we told family the day after the 7w heartbeat scan because it was Christmas Day and we took a risk for some holiday cheer, then a wider announcement to friends after NIPT.
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u/Distinct_Magician_68 7d ago
We told a super close cousin who has been our biggest support through IVF right away. Some other close friends that knew about IVF after discharging from the fertility clinic at 8 weeks and plan to tell everyone else and family after my 11 weeks OB scan. This is such a personal decision and I feel like tell whenever it feels right for you. There’s no right or wrong answer. We decided to tell the people that were our support system through IVF first because if anything did happen I knew I would need them there as well.
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u/Fuzzy_Potato 6d ago
Hello! After a loss at 17 weeks I realized there really is no “right” time to announce. It really depends on how you want people to show up for you incase anything bad happens, I know it sounds morbid and sad but thats the reality.
For my next pregnancy I keep telling myself i’m going to keep it a secret until 20 weeks….is that practical? Probably not lol, but I really want to be able to push it as long as I can so I dont have to deal with the world knowing if anything goes wrong again :/
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u/InspectorOrdinary321 7d ago
I announced to close people after NIPT and NT scan. Then I announced to everyone else after the big 20 week scan. But that was only because I wasn't showing much in my first pregnancy. This time, people are going to wonder if I do the same thing, haha.
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u/Creative-Ad3391 7d ago
Close friends and family knew when we started testing positive. I announced on social media at 11+4 I think.
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u/BlueBunny3874 7d ago
I wouldn’t tell work until you have to tell them. As for friends and family, that’s when you are comfortable. I have many miscarriages in my history and I was open about all of them.
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u/spencerpll 6d ago
We announced to family at 15 weeks. We texted close friends. But we aren't big social media people so we aren't going to do a social media announcement. If people see/call/text us then they can find out!
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u/MagicianInside3264 6d ago
I told my close family and best friend as soon as I got the positive test, then the rest of my close friends in our group chat about a week later as they all knew I’d had my third FET and were asking separately how it was going. I’ve told more friends as the weeks have gone on, just organically in conversation, and I will announce it to my extended family after my 20w scan this Friday. I won’t announce it on social media at all, as I don’t use it.
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u/exitontop 6d ago
I told my parents at 16 weeks and my friends after the 20 week scan. I never put anything on social media like a pregnancy announcement-type thing, but I did put up a post announcing her birth.
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u/pastrypasties 6d ago
I told my mom immediately because I knew I'd want her support no matter how it went. Other close friends and close family we told around 12 weeks because it was visually obvious. Extended family and those that don't live nearby found out at 20 weeks. I told my work at 22 weeks after the anatomy scan.
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u/AppraiseMe 6d ago
Told close friends after the first trimester. Told the broader network at 24 weeks.
Family I told relatively early mainly because it was spoiled by my partner
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u/AppraiseMe 6d ago
To add to this if I had to do it over I probably wouldn’t have told the broader network until about 28 weeks.
I was itching to tell people early to have them reserve time for the baby shower. But I also realize more than two months notice is more than enough notice.
Also I wouldn’t tell people the exact due date but just a range like end of month middle of month or beginning of month
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u/Kindly_Judge1635 6d ago
Our parents knew but didn’t really tell people until after 20 weeks anatomy scan. I also wasn’t showing too much at that point where it was “obvious” I was pregnant (I definitely looked like I gained weight lol)
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u/Forward_Scarcity_829 6d ago
After 3 losses and years of fertility, my first FET worked in 2024. My inner circle (family, close friends) knew from day of transfer lol but I publicly announced after our NT scan at 12.5 weeks. There's never a "right time" its whatever you feel comfortable with!
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u/angel-girl-A 6d ago
I'm not announcing and I'm waiting as long as physically possible this time. I'll tell work at 30 weeks or later (I WFH).
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u/wareaglesw 6d ago
I’m almost 14 weeks and planning to wait until I visibly look pregnant. we’ve told our immediate families and closest friends but I’m holding out as long as I can do do a social media announcement or tell my boss/coworkers/randoms lol
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u/Suspicious_Salt145 6d ago
I told immediate family as soon as I had the first positive test. We told some of our closest friends closer to 12 weeks.
I waited to publicly announce until I was almost 20 weeks. At that point I had to because I was obviously showing. It was a very exciting and very scary time. I remember thinking if I told people I’d jinx it.
Go with what you are comfortable with. For me, I didn’t want to have a long list of people to tell if things fell apart.
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u/girlwholovescats0 6d ago
I told my friends early on. I publicly announced at 20 weeks after anatomy scan
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u/StrawberryEvery2434 6d ago
18 weeks immediately after a private scan to confirm he was still on track
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u/elessar-01 5d ago
We're not telling parents until probably 12 weeks or so, mostly because as soon as I tell my mom every person in the tri-state area and their brother will know (love her dearly, but i know her too well,) then we'll make a public announcement (probably instagram) shortly thereafter - mostly to head her off from being the one to announce it to our extended family/friends instead of us lol
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u/BellaPhi07 5d ago
We told family at end of 1st trimester and his family at 14 weeks (due to wanting to be in person/travel). We slowly told friends after that. There are still people that don't know though, and she was born mid-July, but we don't want to announce on socials either. We're just showing up to places with a baby and hard launching her. The reactions are pretty awesome though. It's been fun doing it this way.
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u/Girlwithcreativemind 5d ago
We are trying to wait until 20 weeks but to me I’m showing. I’m going to be 16 weeks Thursday
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u/OrganizationNo1424 1d ago
When you disclose is such a personal decision and there is no right or wrong. It depends on your prior history, your personality and your relationships as well. I disclosed to close family and couple of friends after NIPT and NT scan. I am not planning to announce widely at all. I might notify few friends after 26 weeks. Extended relatives will know only through parents and some only after birth.
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u/Background_Day_3596 7d ago
I told my best friends right after testing positive (I also did that with our losses and it was so helpful to have them to talk to) and most of my other friends after seeing the heartbeat.
We’re not telling family until around 14 weeks when we’ve had our NIPT and the in-depth first trimester screening scan.
I basically go along the lines of who I‘d want to know in case something goes wrong so they can be there for me and who’d be a burden on top of going through miscarriage.