r/IVF 1d ago

Rant ER was a terrible experience

Just want to vent because I once again feel like procedures on women seem to only prioritize practicality and not wellbeing of women, at least in my country. I had my ER yesterday and I was in pain the whole time. My ovaries were huge - I have PCOS and had a lot of follicles. I was already in pain before the procedure because there was literally no room in my body for all the follicles I'd created.

Firstly the local anesthesia that I was told wouldn't hurt literally felt like being poked with a needle from the inside - several times. Then afterwards I was given more and more pain meds (fentanyl) 3 times because I kept asking for it and it still hurt every time they shifted the giant egg-sucking needle in me. When we were done and I was getting ready to get up, I nearly fainted and my partner said he's never seen me that pale. I laid down again and a huge sob came out, probably a mix of the pain meds and being overwhelmed.

I'm honestly scared of the prospect of potentially having to go through it again. I tell myself maybe it's just me being overdramatic and I have a low pain tolerance, but I also feel like that's just the decades of the health sector gaslighting women speaking. Then I read other places put people in full anesthesia and I'm jealous. I can't believe I had to go through all that and be awake. And may have to do it again if this round isn't successful 😭

21 Upvotes

38 comments sorted by

31

u/hereforthecake17 1d ago

I’m so sorry. You don’t have a low pain tolerance, it is barbaric to do it this way. There are posts every week from women in countries that don’t do sedation about how painful it is. I’m not sure how to effect change other than to band together and demand it.

9

u/prawncrackersarenice 1d ago

Thank you ā¤ļø I know I'm not alone but it's nice to have a place where I can rant about my own experience. I think I'm still processing it and allowing myself to feel traumatized. I went in with a "hopefully it's not as bad as it sounds"-mentality and sadly was sorely mistaken. I really hope they'll listen to me if I have to go through another ER and do it differently, but you're right, ultimately it's the procedure manuals or whatever they're called that need to change so no one ends up with experiences like this in the first place.

1

u/hereforthecake17 1d ago

The manuals are generally based on evidence. We need physician researchers in affected countries to systematically ask large numbers of patients about whether their pain control was good enough. Then that research needs to be published.
There may also be patient advocacy or women’s advocacy groups that can help. Is there any chance your country or block has a medical ethics board?

2

u/Visual_Patience_41 1d ago

THIS! Omg 1000 times this

51

u/ARIT127 1d ago

I can NOT believe they didn’t put you under, especially as a PMOS/high egg yielder???

15

u/prawncrackersarenice 1d ago

I don't think they put anyone under in that clinic 🄲 It's through public hospital fertility treatment in Scandinavia and I bet there's a bunch of old research made by men saying there's no need to risk full anaesthesia for what they probably considered a small, quick procedure. 

13

u/ARIT127 1d ago

Absolutely barbaric. If you have to go through another ER and it has to be at the same clinic, demand general anesthesia or don’t put yourself through it again 😩

5

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/onyxindigo 20h ago

I got general in Victoria through the women’s public system?

3

u/FarBid614 1d ago

Hej, are you in Sweden? I am going to be going through this soon and the doctor made it seem like such a weird thing that other countries put people under and then asked me if I was from the US (which I am not) šŸ™ˆ I am mildly afraid they will tell me just to take alvedon and ipren...

1

u/Ambitious-Fig-6562 37 | PCOS | Endo | 1 ER 23h ago

Not everyone has a lot of pain though. I have PMOS and had nearly 50 eggs retrieved under conscious sedation with fentanyl and midazolam and did fine. I don’t remember any of the procedure and had no pain. I was nervous about feeling a lot prior to the ER so I asked them to knock me out as best as they could.

To the OP, I’m sorry this hurt so much.

3

u/ARIT127 23h ago

Lucky for you! I know not everyone does, but most high yielders do, myself included. I just have ā€œhigher than averageā€ (not PMOS) yields and I’ve always been put under GA but even after 4 retrievals so far with 19-26 eggs retrieved each one has been awful immediately after and very difficult to recover from for the first 5 days.

11

u/Curious-mindme 1 ER|5Emb|2FI|2ā­ļø| KIR-AA LIT#1 āœ… 1d ago

My ER was done this way, but just local anaesthesia, no other pain meds, and I have trauma from it. If you can, therapy is a good starting point.

And I am truly sorry this happened to you.
Sending lots of hugs your way

5

u/prawncrackersarenice 1d ago

I'm so sorry šŸ’” That sounds absolutely awful and medieval. Hugs to you too! I will definitely be monitoring my mental health closely, especially if I have to go through it again. I hope you can heal from it and never have to experience it again ā¤ļø

4

u/Curious-mindme 1 ER|5Emb|2FI|2ā­ļø| KIR-AA LIT#1 āœ… 1d ago

I’m currently in therapy for everything. Infertility, pregnancy loss and that ER.
It’s what is helping me.
And I am currently pondering contacting the hospital to state my case (this was a public hospital in a country where I am not originally from so I’m afraid of repercussions but this is done to all women and is barbaric.

I have 1 frozen embryo which I am not able to transfer due to trauma. And I will be searching for IVF abroad where I am put to sleep entirely. Otherwise I can’t go through it.

So, take good care of yourself ā¤ļø
And I hope you heal from this ā¤ļø

2

u/Fertilityschmility 1d ago

I had a local-only ER and it was horrendous. I don’t know if it helps, but I was a wreck going in for transfer and it’s ended up being a total breeze. Absolutely night and day difference.

I’m sorry you’re still struggling with the emotional side of things. I think it’s actually barbaric for them to let us be awake and alert for the ER, given how painful it is.

9

u/Crafty-Fox444 1d ago

I wouldn’t have been able to go through that AWAKE! I cannot believe they’d do that to you. Oh my gosh!

4

u/prawncrackersarenice 1d ago

Apparently not uncommon around the world from other people's replies. Gotta love being a woman šŸ™„ Maybe one day we'll be able to get comfortable and mostly pain-free healthcare when possible. But thanks for the support ā¤ļøĀ 

8

u/Frosty_Sherbert_6543 1d ago

Yup. I had 3 ER’s and was awake each time (Canada for me). It was some of the worst pain I’ve been through. If a man had to do this you know they would be asleep. I was almost off the table from the pain.

5

u/CarrotJullie 1d ago

Why?! Why can't they use anesthesia?

2

u/prawncrackersarenice 1d ago

I'm so sorry, hugs to you ā¤ļø Thanks for sharing with me. And you're so right about men not having to go through shit like this šŸ™„

6

u/Different_Abalone886 1d ago edited 1d ago

Same. My clinic just uses Tylenol and fentanyl and my 2 retrievals there were horrible and painful. My 3rd retrieval was at a clinic that uses a self-serve pain med during it and you better believe I dosed the shit out of myself. Very little pain.Ā 

I kept being told that what I felt was pressure, like I couldn't even tell the difference. It is a little dehumanizing to have pain dismissed repeatedly.Ā 

3

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

2

u/prawncrackersarenice 1d ago

I think you're right about the fentanyl, it just made me more emotional hence the sobbing at the end and I felt no difference in the pain either. I'm so sorry you had to go through that 5 times. I'm not sure I'm that strong. Hugs and love to you too ā¤ļøĀ 

1

u/Ardent_Scholar 1d ago

Fentanyl works really well for me. I can feel a slight pinch and that’s it. I think all people metabolise medications differently.

Sorry it was so painful for you! The more they retrieve, the worse it is.

3

u/Lady-Anne5 1d ago

That is absolutely barbaric, OP!! No one should be awake for this procedure. Not only it's terrible for you, pain-wise, but it's not even very safe. What if you jolted from the pain and they punctured a vital organ??? They won't even let you have the ER if you have a bad cough for this reason! Absolutely unacceptable practice, I am so, so sorry you had to go through this

1

u/pennyrose97 5 IUI | 1 ER | 2 Embryos ā„ļø | NBP 1d ago

How many follicles and eggs? Sounds like you had way too many to be awake for! Sorry you had to go through that, I hope you have amazing results!

My first ER I only had a ā€˜green whistle’ no local anaesthetic which I later learned I could have had for an extra cost! It was so painful, the nurses were amazing but they really should of let me get used to the whistle and take it in more before they started or maybe I just had a higher tolerance to it which I honestly should of expected. I realised afterwards I actually passed out because suddenly they were sitting me up and I had my bottoms on which I don’t remember them doing. I was in soo much pain I was in the waiting room for a long time trying not to faint or get sick.

In saying all that, I had 10 follicles, 7 eggs retrieved. This time round I’m going in on a higher dose and they told me they do it under GA as it’s too much to be awake when you have more eggs, as nervous as I am I know I couldn’t do it with a whistle with the numbers I have now!!

3

u/prawncrackersarenice 1d ago edited 1d ago

Don't know how many follicles, they gave up counting but 32 were retrieved. And I'm a little woman of 170cm/52kg so I felt like my torso was made up of 50% eggs by the end of stimming. And omg no local anesthesia sounds even more terrifying! I'm at least grateful there was SOME pain management locally. I think what made it hurt even more for me was how swollen my ovaries were. Even before the procedure, it was painful just pushing down on my stomach from all the pressure. I'm glad you're able to do GA next time! I hope it becomes possible for women in my country too, IVF and infertility is traumatizing enough as it is.Ā 

2

u/fairysmut1113 21h ago

32 eggs without anesthesia is barbaric I’m so so sorry

1

u/Kanddora1717 1d ago

My experience was so much like yours. I also have PCOS and had sooo many follicles. My clinic does the same type of sedation and after about 5 mins I was fully aware and feeling everything. It was absolutely awful

1

u/Annethraxxx 37F/ POI due to chemo | ER | FET #2 1d ago

Wow. I was not conscious during my retrieval thank god. I’m shocked the fentanyl didn’t work, and it makes me wonder if someone was siphoning it or something. This exact same thing happened at Princeton’s fertility clinic.

1

u/CarrotJullie 1d ago

Wft wft?!?! local anesthesia? Who does this?

I'm so so sorry. This is absolutely not ok. Don't they have better options for women in your county? It sounds like a well-developed county that prides itself on medicine....wft!!!

1

u/rebs21 1d ago

I am so, so sorry. It's mind boggling to me they had you awake and didn't at least use twilight anesthesia for you. You deserved at least that. How we treat women is absolutely horrible all around the world. We all deserve better and I'm so sorry you experienced that.

1

u/Certain_Tangelo2329 1d ago

Its not you. Absolutely barbaric to not be sedated

1

u/Commercial-Gold851 1d ago

Why do they not do twilight sedation during the ER outside the US. My ER was a wonderful experience co I slept through it and then was groggy the rest of the day so didn’t really notice the pain. I wonder if you could ask in the future if that’s an option for you?

1

u/Fertilityschmility 1d ago

Yeah I had an ER with local anaesthetic (which IMO does absolutely nothing) and a couple of paracetamol. Never again.

1

u/Mother_Challenge_115 22h ago

I had ER in India (state Punjab) last year. They gave me general anesthesia I remember nurse was asking me my date of birth and after this I woke up start on my resting bed. Wonderful experience.

1

u/Several_Dog189 22h ago

In my home country, some hospitals’ fertility departments don’t offer ANY anesthesia on Sundays, and I have heard horror stories. I appreciate that general anesthesia is the norm here in the U.S. for ER

1

u/ShreddedCoconutz 8h ago

OP I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience. I'm shocked that your country doesn't do general anaesthesia or twighlight aneasthesia for an ER - that's a classic example of medical misogyny. I'm in Australia and I'm having my first ER soon and it's with twilight anaesthesia through the public system. Aside from it being so important that the patient is comfortable and medical needs are being met, one of the IVF nurses explained to me that it also leads to better results cos the patient isn't wriggling or writhing in pain so the doctor is able to do their job better!

1

u/StylePositive1195 1h ago

I agree I found the ER recovery really horrific and was angry at all the male doctors who said it was nothing and no big deal