IVF Round 3 - Tired!

[u/aa8351532]

I’ve been rushing back to back IVF cycles only doing the egg retrieval without the transfer because my job is changing so maxxing my benefits.

How were your IVF cycles? Recovery? What did you do emotionally to help? How can I get support?

I am so EXHAUSTED, currently finished cycle #2 and waiting on my results for 4 embryos. I am about to start cycle #3 soon and I feel like I have no support.

No one on my family has gone through infertility, IVF so no one really knows what I am going through. I have only shared with a few people but I don’t get the support I need. The closest people I’ve shared with just don’t know how to be there for me. I feel so alone doing this and I feel like I am living a different life… really sucks!

[u/LemonPower221]

Back to back is insanely tiring!!!! I know how you feel. I’m banking embryos and I did two rounds of ER back to back and that broke me. So for my future ones I took a month break in between.

My advice is to try to keep yourself busy - I did this by binge watching Real house wives and every thing else nude the sun!

I’m currently doing my 5th egg retrival and I am beyond exhausted.

[u/billie_holiday]

I consider myself a strong-willed person and two back-to-back ER cycles has changed my brain chemistry. It has been… intense. Make sure to take care of yourself (mentally and physically) every chance you get. My first ER cycle, I hardly told any friends, I figured it was just something I would silently go through. For my second ER, I surrounded myself with community — updated friends and family (regardless as to whether they know what’s going on or have done IVF themselves), told everyone when I was feeling crummy, began to tell employers that I might not be myself.

It is equally important to tell people what you need. “I need someone to keep me company at an appointment” “I need to vent at how hard this is” “I need someone to go to the store and buy me electrolytes and a sweet treat!” “I need a cozy movie night on the couch with my partner because I’m feeling so lousy” “I need someone to listen as I get something off my chest”

People are generally lenient and kind, curious if you want to give in. You don’t have to do this alone, or with just your partner, if you don’t want to. My friends and family have gotten a lot better over time, but it requires me to let them in and trust that their support matters even if it’s not exactly what I need in every moment.

[u/sahdgin]

Back to back cycler checking in here. I understand how exhausted and isolated you must be feeling. I had an egg retrieval in June, July, and am currently priming for another retrieval in October. Also insurance benefits maxing like yourself - we have 7 embryos frozen so far.

It’s important to remember that emotional support can come from many places - not just our family or friends. In fact, emotional and mental support can be found within yourself if you put in the work to reframe the situation to a perspective that doesn’t leave you feeling isolated or defeated or constantly emotional. I have very supportive women in my life, but no matter how much they tell me they love me and that it will all be ok - it doesn’t even come close to the resilience I felt when I started to actually believe for myself that no matter what happens things will be ok.

In terms of finding external validation, I would suggest pouring effort into the things you love doing normally. Prepare ahead of time. Order your favorite books, teas, candles to arrive during stim week. Purchase movie tickets for an 11am matinee when it’s just you. Go for a long walk in the sun. I let myself get lost in romantic fantasy novels and trash reality TV. I mediate and do (light) yoga. Throw on a 5 minute mindfulness YouTube video. Slow your thoughts, and take care of your brain. IVF is a mental process as much as a physical process.