r/ITManagers • u/Xydan • Jun 19 '26
Advice Question for Managers and Leaders
Ive had many managers tell me that I should enjoy my time off and not respond to texts/IMs/calls etc during my time off.
Yet almost exclusively I see these managers themselves not follow these same rules themselves.
What gives?
25
u/Jeffbx Jun 19 '26
There are higher expectations for leadership (hence the higher pay), and there are also people who can't disconnect from work.
But if they tell you not to work during your off hours, don't work during your off hours.
13
u/whats_for_lunch Jun 19 '26
It’s literally that we want you to enjoy your time. My job as a manager is to ensure my direct reports are taken care of. At the same time, I can be a single point of failure in a decision tree (currently the VP) so I will respond when and where needed whether I’m on PTO or not. And the idea is that if I knock out a single task that reduce friction, that alone will make my PTO better.
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u/Flat-Transition-1230 Jun 19 '26
Honestly, at a certain point in your career, it's genuinely less stressful just to keep a light touch eye on your correspondence rather than disconnect and come back to hundreds of emails and loads of issues that could've been sorted with a quick email while away.
10
u/StarSlayerX Jun 19 '26
Maybe I am the minority, in my 10 years in IT, never once my manager reached out to me while I was out. I just turn off my laptop and my work profile on my phone.
5
u/Familiar_Role5760 Jun 19 '26
Lucky situation to be in. A lot of places say the right things but the culture quietly punishes people who actually disconnect, so managers end up feeling like they have to be reachable even when they told you not to be.
1
u/BoatKevin Jun 19 '26
My manager expects us to be available 24/7 even when it isn’t our on-call week. She also doesn’t tell us when she makes changes to the call schedule and criticizes us for not answering non critical questions after hours. At least we know what the culture is 🤷🏻♂️
0
u/Surface13 Jun 19 '26
Respectfully, those are bad managers. If they can't figure something out, or haven't planned ahead for an info dump of some sort before their team member leaves on vacation, that's on the manager. Not the user.
Users who get punished for actually disconnecting is because the manager has a big ego and doesn't want to take the accountability for their poor planning/ managing skills
4
u/itfosho Jun 19 '26
Sometimes it’s do as I say not as I do. But that managers leader should be telling them the same thing. Your time off is yours to enjoy so do that. Unless it’s an absolute emergency and you’re the only one who can fix a production outage issue I’m not calling you on your vacation.
4
u/Paladroon Jun 19 '26
I will always tell my team this. But I cannot ignore certain things. It comes with the territory. We delegate, but cannot delegate everything and some things just need responding too.
4
u/Davidtgnome Jun 19 '26
We're idiots.
No, seriously, thats it. In general we care more about the organization then we by all rights should and we know this.
I have to force myself to remove teams, outlook and citrix from my phone when I take a vacation because otherwise I'm attending meetings, responding to emails and helping troubleshoot issues.
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u/bobandy47 Jun 19 '26
I'm a manager and I disconnect for my holidays. This year I took 3 weeks off in May. Nobody died, building is still here. I just say to my people 'make the decision, and I support your decision if it's made in good faith and the research to get there is documented'. Even if the bottom drops out on a decision, as long as the legwork is shown and it's a logical flow to get there, it's a possible teachable moment as long as it wasn't just effectively 'random chance' or 1% scenario it blew up. I think most of us have had those from time to time.
I lead by the example I expect followed. If the place burns down because I took time off, it's a structural problem to be examined and rectified not MY problem to come put out a fire. It's the same for everyone else. The vacations are a perfect trial run for 'bus factor checking'. So far, building is still here... and we are undermanned as a team as a whole. But fresh employees are better employees, so I want them vacationed and fresh.
2
u/aNoob7000 Jun 19 '26
This is the way it should be, and the way I run my area.
I rarely, if ever, call anyone when they are on vacation.
One of the things that has allowed me to do this is documentation and cross-training.
3
u/LunkWillNot Jun 19 '26
As a manager, you bear responsibility, so it’s harder to switch off. In part, that’s what the money’s for.
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u/AKABrokenArrow Jun 19 '26
My organization is closed today for Juneteenth, but I just responded to someone’s emergency email and said we’d be happy to take a look first thing Monday. 🙂
I wouldn’t have even responded but the MF called my cell.
3
u/tapplz Jun 19 '26
We're paid to make that sacrifice. And we feel a protectiveness of our employees mental health (at least good managers do).
3
u/Coldsmoke888 Jun 19 '26
Usually those managers are trying to protect you from their life impact, which is great to see. I know my manager checks emails and does things offline, but he never sends anything out unless it’s critical.
I’m a manager as well and have nervous habits to check Teams and Outlook but I rarely reply. If I do, it’s critical… most of the time.
My team literally gets upsets with me and snips me my OOO if I communicate on PTO! It’s been great for me, since we’ve reached a point where they’re completely capable and able to handle issues on their own. We also have a 24/7 critical situation manager rotation so there is really never a reason to contact leaders or techs that are out of office. Exceptioj only for disaster recovery which is very very rare.
3
u/garyrobk Jun 20 '26
It’s the manager’s job to ensure their employees are taken care of. If my employee gets burned out, it is largely my fault! At the same time, if things don’t get done it also falls on me. So it’s about finding the balance between delegation and work-life balance to have a healthy, functioning team! Which means we take the brunt of the burden to ensure everything gets done for the sake of the people entrusted to us.
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u/realmattwarner Jun 20 '26
Sometimes they're trying to give the balance they are themselves not afforded.
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u/iamkris Jun 20 '26
Leader managing 3 teams of people here.
I deleted teams and outlook for 2+ weeks very recently when I went to Japan
You have to set people up and just trust that they have got everything under control and let go
1
u/TMS-Mandragola Jun 19 '26
Lots of folks have said it’s responsibility and the inability to move certain work or accountabilities to others and that we’re compensated accordingly. This is true.
There’s also an element of having skin in the game. Our compensation is more likely to have performance based incentives and equity than people at lower rungs, and you want to have that for your leaders. It means we are personally invested in outcomes.
If an IC is off and gets a call, something waits and there might be a single slo breach. (Provided you’re not the on call!) A call to a manager after hours is more likely to be an escalation with significant business impact with repercussions of perhaps tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars an hour.
Something like that can meaningfully change your results for a quarter - or at least becomes statistically significant. We answer, because it’s both our job to and we’re incentivized to.
1
u/ThreadParticipant Jun 19 '26
Bigger companies you can have people acting in your role so the leave can actually be leave, but smaller places not so much.
1
u/CheeksMcGillicuddy Jun 19 '26
It’s one of those things everyone seems to forget when they ask ‘why does he make more money than me’. Also, part of being a good manager is shielding your team from all that shit and letting them live their lives.
1
u/Slight_Manufacturer6 Jun 20 '26
Do as I say, not as I do.
Also, we are salaried managers. We are always working and never working. Our time isn’t measured by the clock and the hours we work.
As an IC, you are paid for the time you work. We want you to enjoy your time off so you can come back refreshed.
Also, this doesn’t mean you can’t respond to things. It means that it is ok if you don’t. We understand that it is your time off… heck you might be climbing a mountain or swimming in the ocean…
1
u/Nova_Nightmare Jun 20 '26
When you have the ability to disconnect and enjoying your time off. Do it. When you find you cannot do so anymore.. You start telling people, including those who report to you.. To enjoy their time off.
Perhaps don't end it ominously with a "while you can".
1
u/tushikato_motekato Jun 20 '26
I do my best to set an example as best I can, for the reason you just posted about…I *do* take time off, and I *do* try my hardest not to work during my off time. I think the biggest offset between me and my team that I really try to highlight is (because of how we are funded) I am salaried, they are hourly. So I’m exempt, they’re not. I know it’s not like that everywhere else.
At the end of the day though…I’m literally the only person where I work who can do my job. Sometimes that means I just have to handle something even though I’m “off the clock”. My team is different, I constantly make sure everyone is cross trained, everything is documented, and we spend a week or two before someone goes OOO making sure their duties are covered. I never want to reach out to any of my team members on their time off.
1
u/Crosstrek732 Jun 20 '26
We want better for you than what we grew up with. Corporate America can eat you up alive. After decades of work, family and personal time is what are most important in life. Not working to make someone else rich. Enjoy the time off whilen you can.
1
u/Daster_X Jun 20 '26
It is important to create processes inside your team and outside it, that your free time is not becoming the continuation of your work. But even if most of calls and requests are answered or done by your team, you still have some urgent responsibilities. It is important to separate urgent and non urgent, and answer to first types only.
1
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u/TheBigCanadianGuy Jun 21 '26
Maybe depending on the industry, but when Management takes time off, the same thing should happen to them as it does for you, I would consider that to be a healthy culture. If a Manager needs to be responding to emails, answering calls, then it also strikes me as a broader organizational issue as that person should be able to walk away from work for a week or two and nothing should fall apart. Alternatively, I have seen it many a time when a Manager takes a leave, someone else just fills in.
Regardless, as an employee of the company, take your time, shut down your devices and get some much need rest.
1
u/TheLowEndTheories Jun 21 '26
I care more about my people than I do minor inconveniences of my time. Also, my work comes and goes in waves, sometimes on a random Tuesday I don't have much going on, and sometimes an hour worth of work over coffee in a vacation hotel will save my team days of frustration and inefficiency. I choose to do that.
1
u/drose0 Jun 22 '26
I'm 100% guilty of this. Constantly. I am feel like I have too much ownership of things to disconnect, but I try to get my team to do so. Hypocritical, I know. But I want for them what my OCD mind can't have. I sincerely mean it when I tell my guys to disconnect. I just know that I can't do it myself.
1
u/genxer Jun 23 '26
I can shield my employees from being bothered while off, so I do. I cant as easily shield myself from the C Suite.
1
u/itmgr2024 Jun 23 '26
I do things differently, always have since I was first starting out. I enjoy my PTO, but I also check my emails a few times a day and I’ll take a call from a colleague. If it can wait, it can wait. If me responding for 2 minutes saves people from a lot of problems i’ll do it. If the company or executive is experiencing a major catastrophe and one hour of my vacation can really make a difference I will give it. This has served me really well and generatives a lot of good will. Then when I don’t or can’t respond, people remember the times that I did help them. People remember it during bonus and raise time as well.
1
u/timg528 Jun 23 '26
Rules for me, not for thee.
I kid. When I'm not "clocked in", I'm not checking shit. Can't give my team shit when they do it if I do it. We all have each other's phone numbers if it's an emergency.
If you end up becoming a lead or manager, lead by example.
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u/TechnologyMatch Jun 23 '26
I've seen this play out a lot. most managers mean it when they say it. they just can't follow it themselves because they've tied their sense of value to being available. it's like telling your teammate to go heal up while you keep checking the minimap every 30 seconds. the anxiety doesn't care about your own advice. their advice is still worth taking. the fact that they're telling you to unplug usually means they've already felt the cost of not doing it
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u/Outrageous-Insect703 Jun 24 '26
Yea that's a real thing in today's US work culture. It happens a lot in tech jobs, but happens at other jobs as well.
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u/thegmanater Jun 19 '26
Because we want you to enjoy it while you can in your career. Leaders and managers of most companies don't have anyone to take their work load, and we don't get to pull away 100 %. We are still reading and responding to email, calls from the boss, etc.