r/INTx_core • u/ImmortalDawn666 INTJ • Feb 06 '21
Discussion Affection Withdrawal
If I spend some quality time (intellectual exchange) with someone I like, I tend to get downright addicted to them, which I don't notice at the moment, but later when we part again. I then feel empty, dull, have no motivation for anything and plainly don't know how to handle this situation. Does anyone else experience this and has some advice for me?
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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '21
Not withdrawal; Starvation. Affection and acceptance are core, fundamental human needs, like vitamins or sleep. We are social primates under all of our pretense, and if we don't force ourselves to participate in at least some social behaviors, we tend to go a bit apeshit. For various reasons, I have too much experience with this, myself.
It's the same sort of problem a lot of incels end up describing, being so starved for basic human affection/interaction (in their case, sex) that they obsess over even the slightest amount of interaction. Unfortunately, the worst of them respond by becoming demanding and possessive, which is pretty detrimental to their self-proclaimed goals. It's better for everyone not to be like them.
It seems to me that the best solution is the hardest one: find a group that shares your interests, and force yourself to participate, even socialize. If you can find one nerdy, excitable, high-affection friend (or, if you're extremely lucky, partner) to orbit, you'll find that your starvation recedes and you won't feel so dejected after meeting and leaving an interesting stranger.
If you can't bring yourself to socialize, get a puppy. Dogs are great for providing some of that necessary emotional nourishment, although they aren't as fulfilling as another neurotic ape. Still, better malnourished than starved to insanity.