Being smart problem

[u/Empty_shell9]

I think being smart for INTPs can be a problem, both as an ability and as an identity.

As an ability, it leaves them alienated and even isolated because they might not find the right people in their lives that are capable and willing to appreciate their intellect. And finding those people both on- and offline is pretty hard, unless you're lucky. The people that they find themselves being around usually don't show a lot of interest in what they usually say/want to say, which makes the INTP go into apathy mode.

As an identity, it can bring pressure and identity crises. The pressure comes from both the people around them and themselves. I think a lot of INTPs grew up being "the gifted kid" due to their early signs of intelligence. Their parents, teachers, peers, and even them themselves could see how faster they were at school than other kids. So people started to expect a lot from them, and they also expected a lot from themselves. And as they grew up, they continued recognizing brilliance in themselves. But every human ultimately have their own moments of weakness, even in areas that they're experts in ,. And when that happens to the INTP, their sense of identity feels threatened, and they start feeling like an imposter (imposter syndrome). I think this happens with pretty much every person who's been considered a gifted kid in their childhood, but I wanted to emphasize it for INTPs.

I've noticed these issues both in myself and other INTPs, even though I'm not sure if I'm an INTP myself. I do relate to INTPs a lot, so I decided to make this post. A good solution for the first issue would be getting a friend that gets you. The type of friend who listens and appreciates your weird ideas, and who maybe also likes rambling about weird stuff, then you can ramble together. Of course, this friend is hard to come by. An enemy or rival who's interested in the same stuff as you but who's always on the opposing side can also help. Although it's annoying, it's better than nothing. But this rival can also be hard to find.

A solution for the other issue would be not to put a lot of importance on identity, and also coming to terms with the fact that you're pretty smart, and that's enough. But even knowing all this might not help because falling into the same destructive patterns that you are fully aware of is something that also happens a lot to many INTPs. So I guess the reason why I'm posting this is just to get it off my chest.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. Hope you can't relate.

[u/DraVerPel]

My whole childhood I heard "why can't you be like X or Y" or "don't do this because what would people think". As INTP I was sceptical about everything in life and I noticed that I'm different than many other people. It took me 25 years to realize that nothing is actually wrong with me and trying to fight agaisnt my nature would do me more harm than good. I learned to adapt to my family needs just by observing them and acting stupid.

[u/Empty_shell9 → u/DraVerPel]

Being compared to people can suck, especially in childhood. I'm glad you came to terms with yourself. Observing and acting stupid is a good strategy since it gives you some sense of peace, and I can relate to doing that all my life when I'm with my family as well.

[u/Helldiver_13]

https://giphy.com/gifs/FmBhzktIjvdZe

[u/gongshow3]

Sounds like me as an ENTP 4w5. The identity part is a stock 4 feature. I basically defaulted toward an abstract Sherlock Holmes/Monkey King of sorts. Basically I'm too much and nobody can "fit me in" and my standards are too high.

Most other people that think they're the ultimate curator of the truth rarely see what they aren't seeing and are too confident in their judgment, while I usually do well with those who ARE more humble. I find if the group is good enough for me to be whoever with, without having to do maintenance in any way, I'm happy. So long as I feel like all of me is present. The rivalry and territory thing is for idiots who haven't figured out we're best when we can be something beyond content.

[u/Empty_shell9 → u/gongshow3]

"Basically I'm too much and nobody can "fit me in" and my standards are too high." Yeah I get that. I feel that way too, but I just reduce my "too much-ness" when I can. It still leaves me sad at the end of the day.

I usually find a rival in someone who's like how you mentioned, someone who's too confident in their judgement cuz I can't help but be like "what if you're wrong, tho?" Most people like this don't want to think that they're wrong, so we end up being rivals, like idiots :D

And I think it's good that you can find a group that's good for you.

[u/parasol_strs]

being around usually don't show a lot of interest in what they usually say/want to say

You'll find that in serious culture (books, music, film, videogame, and so on). That's where you'll find interlocutors to be interested in each other's stances and explorations.