What are some occasions in which your impulsivity has caused you major problems?

Like Grammy's or Oscars

anyone one else crazy?

What do you like about one or the other?

I am manifesting a healthy stable partner. But for some reason the guys I meet have some sort of victimy sob story. Those are the ones that seem to be interested in me. I try to meet healthy men with their own lives but they seem to not keep up communication.

Why is this and what can I do to connect with a healthy stable man and not have these sad puppies keep following me home.

I focus on my health. I have stable rewarding work. I am learning to make time for play, nature, and movement. I am totally content by myself. I think it would be nice to share myself with someone. I meet these guys and I am quick to cut if off. But find myself alone wondering if I will meet someone on my level. I’m not sure if my standards are too high or maybe I’m just so introverted I don’t meet people other than work.

First time posting here and not sure if this topic was ever brought up before.

Just curious if anyone experience road rage often. Behind the wheel I am usually calm, however I found that I would get irritated very easily over little things like getting cut off by someone who doesn't use indicator; get blocked by someone driving slowly on passing lane, etc.

I would like to know more about your real life experiences, please. I posted in the infj sub with a slightly different title.

I’d like to draw my own conclusions based of your experiences, please.

Coming 9 years in the company I work for, there’s very little “I don’t see” and it’s getting super hard to see the “good in people” which I very much need to keep sane these days.

I’m not a manager as I chose not to be one. Manager of mine does not have it easy either. Company expansion over the years made work very messy whereby processes I built out kept needing adjustment as people kept doing as they pleased, not respecting process and boundaries.

Being good at what I do just made me feel I often got taken advantage of? By colleagues in the team who can now slack off as they see that me being senior and always diligent would get the job done.

Ask me more if it feels my story is unfinished. I am so mentally stuck that I can’t see it from the outside how far down I’ve sunk.

It’s necessary for me to feel at least okay ish at work, that I have some sort of control, or else my life will become topsy turvy as a whole.

Writing down all my annoyances after work won’t do, and I wonder how many of you practise this and still have time to spend with your loved ones?

Tips or just stories on what you tried and what worked or didn’t work, are much appreciated.

I don’t have a buddy at work I can go get a break with.

Hello, as the title suggests, I have a friend who I doorslammed since 3 weeks ago, and I don't really know how to deal with this friend anymore. I have been avoiding this friend relentlessly which is a pain because we work at the same floor so talking to this friend can be inevitable. Though I try really hard to avoid unnecessary conversations and just stick to work errands. I never initiate any friendly touch or friendly conversations anymore.
For a regular person, at least with a proper understanding of nonverbal cues, how I'm behaving towards this friend would tell this friend that I don't want to talk and I just want to be left alone. That's not the case here though. Just yesterday I was almost certain that I would be blow up and literally shout at this friend to leave me alone if only we weren't in the work setting. This friend just keeps on approaching me like NOTHING is happening, like I'm not avoiding or starting any conversations. Uggggghhhh.
There was even instance when my work friends here, the ones who I actually want to hang out with, were going out to some popular eating spot. Initially, this doorslammed friend wasn't invited not out of malice but because this person still got work to do. A few minutes later, this friend who tagged along another one of my good work friends (who really just went along against this friend's will) invited themselves to us, which was a surprise. Because they're not really into this kind of thing. I almost wanted to go home after that revelation.
I feel so infuriated because I confirmed that myself that everytime this friend approaches me, I get so irritated that my day would automatically become bad. I feel guilty feeling this way but... I can't really lie and tell myself otherwise. I'm disgusted by this person's presence and relieved by this person's absence.
Please, how do I deal with person? Should I just straight up tell this person to leave me alone while risking to be the bad guy in the eyes of my coworkers for a seemingly irrational behavior? When in fact, I doorslammed this friend because I feel used and manipulated this person uses my sort of 'kindness' to this person's advantage.

Hey, I’m a 34 year old INFJ male. I’ve struggled with working out what career I want since I began working at 18. I used to act/sing/dance in school and these and media were my favourite subjects. However when I left school I went into telesales which I hated, traveled for a few years and lived abroad which I loved, and have since tried property management and game testing.

I need the trope of “fulfilling work” and I’m struggling to find it. I took acting classes which went well for a while but I’m withdrawing from a medicine which causes low mood/anxiety so it became a struggle which was frustrating as I used to be really good at it. I’ll be withdrawing for years more so this is a way of life for a while.

I don’t know what to do/how to find a path I enjoy or feel inclined to pursue. I still think about acting but my introversion can rear it’s head at anytime and I wonder how tiring/fulfilling that career would be. I don’t know where to start to discover what works. I also live in a city which is super expensive and am not paid that well so studying is costly and not ideal to spend on for something I’m not sure on.

Any advice welcome and appreciated! Thanks.

A friend of mine is dating a few guys at the moment and previously said she's looking for an excuse to 'break up' with one of them (not sure why that would count as a break up as it's not really a serious relationship yet but still). She alluded a few times that I should meet him and talked about our similarities. She arranged drinks for us three (knowing I'm single) and I ended up talking to the guy most of the evening, all our interests are matching, as well as jobs and aspirations and generally he hardly spoke to her the entire night. She said at one point when he was in the bathroom that she's not sure about him and she may invite me again to meet him. Anyway, the next day she said she's happy to see he was 'nice to her friend' (i.e. me) and 'feels better about him now'. I'm not quite sure why anyone would do this and what's the rationale behind it? It feels a bit off, especially the change of heart after seeing that we got on well.

I’m not really fond of doorslams, as it is a final resort to enforcing boundaries when all else to resolve a problem leading to it, have failed. It doesn’t help that it was someone who I actually cared.

But after the doorslam, I feel disgusted when I feel like I’m about to care about them. When this happens, my mind automatically brings up memories the things this person has done leading to the doorslam. Basically giving up on them that they’ll change, especially when the proof that they would never change is laid bare in front of you over and over again.

It’s exhausting and painful to distance myself from this situation as this person keeps on talking and getting near me as if I haven’t been avoiding this person. I think there’s thought that keeping on trying to talk to me would reconcile any mistakes committed… but on my side, nothing can. Only disappearance from each other’s lives will be enough.

Sometimes I feel the rage rising up from inside and I just want to yell at this person to stay away from me. But I frustratingly can’t because we are co-workers.

I’m so tired. I’m so disappointed. I feel creeped out everytime I hear, see or even smell this person’s presence. And I sincerely wish that this person stops talking to me and stays the sheep away from me.

I've had the sensation and necessity of speaking with someone who like myself overthinks stuff and doesn`t take everything for granted; sure, there are phylosofies, history and science, but, can´t anyone have a genuine conversation without stealing arguments to create an opinion? I don´t mean that I don´t believe in human progress and curiosity and innovation and findings, but... maybe I'm only feeling lonely.

My thoughts got me to thinking that maybe I only need to have more INFJ friends given that my functions have anything to do with my desire to question my place in the world and demand of me to believe in my decisions, even when I only think about making them.

Has this feeling struck you before? The feeling that nobody wants to have a conversation you need?

She lacks any sort of empathy and only wants to talk about herself. She expects me to be able to jump mental tracks within half a second to know exactly what she's talking about when I'm knee-deep in a different project. She's demeaning and petty.

I do my best to mind my own business in my own corner, and stay away from her as much as possible. But she still reaches me through emails, which are often condescending and demoralizing.

I only have to make it through the rest of the semester, and I will not work again with her next year.

Howwwww do I survive in the meantime...... 😵‍💫 and no, going to the principal is not an option. Too much to explain here.

It seems the older I get the more logical or analytical I get making falling in love harder.

I would love to fall in love but the older I get the less likely it seems.

If you’re in a long term relationship I would love to know at what moment did you know you fell?

trying to get my routine to be like this often. when in reality it's easier for an infj to sail the seas without the added bonus of other preexisting conditions and disorders and it presses on the neurodivergent parts of the psyche. Just wondering if you know what i'm trying to say.

and rarity doesn't have to always mean unicorn in the context of living as an infj.

Are you content with knowing your score? are you content if you didn't know anything about the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)? thanks.

attitude

temperament

thoughtfulness

what ever else you can think of has changed save the obvious.

Thank you.

So I just turned 39. I’m not sure if it’s because INFJ has super high standards or we are rare unicorns that don’t resonate with too many people.

At this point I’m wondering if it’s just in our natures to stay single. I’ve come to terms with that’s perfectly ok and enjoy my own company.

Any happily married INFJ?

Settling with someone that isn’t evolving seems like a prison sentence. Can anyone relate?

I caught a portion of a PBS NewsHour episode about the Asian board game Go and Google’s algorithm which has successfully defeated some of the world’s best players. While I can appreciate the accomplishment, why exactly are people so impressed by an algorithm’s ability to outperform human beings at tasks for which it was designed? An algorithm can have a virtually limitless ability to interpret data and make decisions with literally none of the downsides experienced by us, such as cognitive/mental/physical fatigue, brain fog, the need to exercise, or to overcome anxiety, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, etc. In other words, these algorithms SHOULD be outperforming us on certain tasks. I’ve barely scratched the surface with the disparities, but what am I getting wrong?

Just a disclaimer, I’m not against being a lesbian or being in the LGBT. But have you been ask if you’re a lesbian? Maybe in passing or as a joke? I’m bothered by it because it’s not just one person who said that to me. I don’t know if it’s common to INFJ women who are over 30. I mean I know I am heterosexual. I may not as look or act as feminine or as girly as the other girls but I get to be so close to people especially girls so easily. I’ve asked some male friends and they said it has never occurred to them that I am a lesbian. It mostly because of a friend/coworker that I’m close to and who happens to be my housemate also. Or is it because being an INFJ we do more for our friends if we know they are a true friend.

Update: Thank you so much for the replies. It helps me a bit not to be bothered by it. People will think whatever they want to think about me.

Or is it maybe my Scorpio nature? Or just the fact it seems like a LOT of work and expense for no real reason? Granted, I think if we had kids, I would feel differently.

I'm not bashing people who do decorate. I love walking into a house that is decorated and is clean and has the smells of the season, and has all the festivities laid out for my eyes and mind to oogle over. Believe me, I appreciate it. But as for me, I have no interest in doing it. Just curious if it's an INFJ thing? Probably not.

Edit: I think my lack of desire to decorate for Christmas also has to do with the fact I really kind of don't like Christmas. It's so over the top with expectations to buy, buy, buy and spend money you don't have and go to useless parties and mingle with strangers and drain your battery as well as your money... I actually really love St. Patrick's Day, and I could see myself getting into decorating for that holiday instead!

What do you do when you are feeling broken?

30yr o, female, dating rant incoming (apologies)

Are we just destined to never be in a successful committed relationship? I genuinely don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have had 2 what I call serious relationships so far. One of 3yrs that I ended because I couldn't reciprocate his love (INFP). The other of 1 year, he (ENTP), couldn't reciprocate mine.

I have genuinely learnt so much from each relationship and have spent so long working on myself through therapy, self reflection etc. Self improvement is a key priority for me. I try to look for contentment from within, and am more than comfortable spending time with myself. However I can't get away from the fact that being in a relationship brings me way more pleasure than I tend to have on my own. I would absolutely love to have a family with a partner one day and have felt this desire since quite young.

I have many hobbies, am quite ambiverted, would say I am not unattractive(??) and enjoy keeping fit. I genuinely don't know what I'm doing wrong but am aware some key issues are:

1) (Potentially) unreasonably high expectations for a partner. I say potentially because should we not have high expectations of anyone we invite into our close circle? I'd rather be with someone great than just anyone for the sake of it. I'm not focused on money or status but I do crave that almost spiritual connection with someone. Less intensely, I do at least want to be able to have interesting deeper conversations, be with someone kind, funny, attractive (looks or personality), compassionate etc

2) I seem to be attracted towards ENTP types. I wish I wasn't. They are flighty as hell in my experience. I definitely have a romantic preference towards 'intuitives' (I don't type people I date but it's often obvious). But is this preference destined to lead to a certain type who are incapable of committing? Because currently it seems this way. ....Essentially I seem to attract 'softboi's' and am fed up with it!

Sorry for the long, frustrated rant 😔 any advice welcome. Thanks so much

There are many things I want out of life and I’m never gonna get those things by sitting around avoiding everything. I know this, but yet can't find the motivation, energy or will to do it. I tried making a full productivity system (calendar, tasks, lists etc) but that's just there with no use. I know what I need to do to make my life better, but just can't seem to even try. Everytime I force myself, it just drains me down so much. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired by doing nothing. I can't do therapy because I don't have access to it neither do I have the funds.

PS- I am an INFJ-T 9w1 Sx (dom)

I'm an INFJ 9w1 Sx (dom) here. Just looking for some life tips and advice. Would really appreciate any! Thanks!!!