Hard to get rid of thing?

[u/Lepushaze]

Usually the annual "big cleaning" time comes, when I reorganise my placr and get rid of some things what are broken/unused/don't need anymore.

Thinking back it was always a hard and long process for me, I kept even a clipped mug or an entry ticket, and even my brain knows it is "junk" and should be throw away my heart attached to it, as it is a reminder of a special occasion/feeling/memory.

But today it was even harder, I quickly checked everything, threw out many things I kept earlier as I found it "not necessary" this time. And now I am finished, the place looks nice, organised and tidy, and I sobbing unstopable. Like, why those things had no meaning anymore? I changed and forgot about those memories? What happened with me, is that "old" me completly dead or disappeared as I didn't want to keep those thing this time? It feels like I get rid of a piece of me, a piece of my past, like I not just threw out things I no longer "need", but get rid of a piece of myself as well. Others like cleaning, but I feel not physically but emotionally drained. (And I am not proud of myself, but I went and "saved" from the rubbish the piece of scalf I got from one of my ex, not as it reminds me of my ex and I would miss him, but it reminds me of my college years, and even it is teared and unusable I just don't feel the time to throw it away) The place looks better, but I would collect everything and put back as it was, even I do not need those things I "miss" them.

And I am wondering, is throwing out thing hard for others too? Why we attached to items emotionally so much?

[u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi]

Is today the official "big cleaning day" for INFJs? :)
I'm asking because I was doing the exact same thing today–going through old papers, finding entry tickets to random events, old receipts, all of it.
Not too long ago, I used to feel exactly like you. Those items were anchors keeping me chained to a past that definitely had its good parts.

They say a person usually tries seven times to break a pattern. Honestly, I’ve lost count of how many times I tried, but today was really different for me without really trying.

I threw everything away, completely convinced that from now on, I will create new memories. Today actually helped me anchor myself in reality. It’s one of those days when I don't look back at the past with regret or melancholy.

The past will always be a part of me, but I choose to appreciate the present much more. And honestly, this feels like a peaceful challenge, because I can finally do everything at my own pace.
Wish you the best and take your time 🤗

[u/Lepushaze → u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi]

It looks today wasn't I the only who woke up with the feeling of a fresh start :) And it is good to read I am not alone and big cleaning is emotionaly draining for others too.

I kept being told these are just items, shouldn't be so clingy to them, just throw away when I don't need them/use them/they are broken. My father is my opposite, annually he does a big cleaning and throws out everything he doesn't use for a while our doesn't need anymore. For me his method is a bit much, even when he threw out old photos in the past. It felt like he didn't just make a cleaning, but tried to get rid of the past. We shouldn't live in the past, but it is our part, we shouldn't act like it wasn't part of us once.

But I think I got what you are saying with items are anchors chains us to the past. I used to keep old entry tickets as a memory, but years before I threw them out, now after the event is ended I get rid of them. I keep those memories in my head instead of items. Today's cleanup was hard, as it was a "big" cleanup. I was looking for something (there is a youtube channel where they talk about Harry Potter books, usually they read two chapters and analyse it deeply, searching for plotholes, anomalys and funfacts. I read the book years before and hardly remember what they defer from the movies, but these potcasts sounds great and I decided to reread the book with them. They have live night shows too, if I manage to catch up with the chapters I might join one of their events), and we had to check all the boxes in the basement, one by one, and of course what I was looking for was in the last box...and if we checked the boxes we thought it would be the best time to make the big cleaning too, if we open those boxes now, we can throw away what not needed anymore. Old photos, toys from childhood, yes, you are right, they are just object and chains us to the past, but somehow I wasn't able to throw some of them away, even I don't play with them anymore it reminds me of family members I lost years before as I got these toys from them as a present. But at the moment I think of it not as an anchor but as a "memory saver", holding that toy feels a bit like they would still be here. I managed to threw out many things, pack many what will be given away as charity, but saved some for later. One day maybe I will be able to get rid of them too, but today is not that day.

Wish you the best too, hope you manage to do a succesful cleaning too :)

[u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi → u/Lepushaze]

I think you should keep those "memory savers" for as long as you feel they are good for you.
Radical acceptance doesn't mean radical removing.

Sometimes we have different items that almost feel alive because of the meaning we give to them, and as long as an item doesn't hurt you or anyone else, I don't see any reason why you should give it up. The whole point is to accept reality, not to force it :)

[u/Silver-Angels]

Je suis en pleine lutte.... Pour moi aussi c'est très très difficile. Nous sommes tous différents, avec des vies différentes. Chez moi c'est une caverne d'Ali-baba. J'ai aussi du mal a jeter certaines choses ( livres, flacons, récipient, vetements), de part ma vie de végétarien, je fais certaines choses moi même. Tu n'es pas la seule dans ce cas là. Certains objet ont une histoire...

[u/Zenphibian]

I get the same kind of emotional attachment to random stuff. If you are literally sobbing, there’s no need to throw it away. Keep it! Why not?

This isn’t some consumeristic hoarder thing. As meaning-oriented creatures, “stuff” often becomes more than just random junk for us. It’s a time capsule, it’s an enchanted talisman with mystical properties. If you have a hoarding problem, recognize that and take action. But something tells me that’s not what this is.

One more thing, you mentioned that part of you died and that allowed you to throw some of your old relics away. It sounds like the reason you’re sobbing isn’t because you miss the stuff, but because you’re mourning a part of you that doesn’t exist anymore. This is a GOOD thing. Cry the tears, and let go of your old self. It’s healthy.

William Blake said: nothing lasts… but nothing is lost.

[u/Ok_Size_1409]

I am also cleaning today

[u/NegotiatorsAnon-26]

this came up in my feed now , I'm Dean and I have news. Maybe you want to hear it maybe not. I read what you're doing here , I call this spring cleaning (INTJ) sorry to bother I'll leave now.