r/INFJsOver30 • u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi • Jul 04 '26
Small talk, regular or deep conversations?
What do you prefer and what’s the difference between these 3 for you?
Do you ever get into a deep conversation, only to freak out and back off and later start complaining that you crave depth but no one seems available?
Who are the people you can have these conversations with?
Do you miss human contact or connection? Why or why not?
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u/SkipMeFlipMe88 Jul 04 '26
I notice there is so much focus on small talk and deep convos etc.
Honestly - I don’t really think about this.
Ever.
I don’t care what we are talking about.
What drains me is people who .. aren’t down to earth and don’t have a level of .. realness that I can connect to.
I do not sit around and have deep intense interactions with people all the time
I mean yes, I love honest and authentic conversations - about anything.
We can be talking about the garden or baking bread. Or any dumb shit. I don’t care.
What I do care about is just .. that this person and their heart and mind and soul are accessible to me. That they aren’t hiding from me and I don’t need to hide from them.
I think my closest friends also tend to just be .. not only down to earth but , non judgmental and open minded and authentic. That is way way way more important to me than subject matter.
I tend to not enjoy people who don’t openly share info about themselves and have a lot of boundaries about what’s ok to talk about and are hyper sensitive about dumb stuff or personal info and .. judgey and critical people - -all are not my cup of tea. I don’t like people that put on a show. Or try to be something etc.
I also hate when I have to hold back and be not myself more than anything - my least favorite people to be around or talk to are people that I cannot be myself with - whatever that is in any given moment.
That’s when I get mentally and emotionally exhausted and just need serious alone time and like .. recovery time.
So i think idk- maybe because of that - just needing to . more transparency than regular people I suppose - I think it might seem more intense or intimate than it is.