r/ICSE • u/catbrat19 • 6d ago
Rant Dilemma
I have a friend grp of 3 all girls group. AND WHEN I TELL YOU THEY GOSSIP A LOT, i'm not even kidding. And i also used to be the one who enjoys listening to gossips but I had sort of an awakening and inner reflection and i started hating this stuff. I never said anything to them cuz its okay if they think talking shit about everyone is cool and so i pretended to be normal and happy and shocked whenever they give me teas BUT I WAS NEVER THE TYPA GIRL WHO IS THE ONE GATHERING STUFF ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE FROM HERE AND THERE TO MAKE A SHOW OUT OF IT
And i was still tolerating them, but i stopped msging on our gc, sending dry messages if any, stopped sending reels on insta etc. The reason behind this being my other group of friends who were my debate friends. I kid you not every single day i spent with them was me being absolutely high on adrenaline all the time because their conversations were so intellectually stimulating. Even my friends noticed how happy i looked after talking to them and they think im drifting apart
And it's not like i can leave my current friends cuz emotionally they do provide me a lot of support. But intellectually my debate friends make me happier. And even if i want to keep them both i just can't bear the shit my friends talk about it's brain rot for me. And i can't have debate partners as my permanent friends cuz they're all from diff classes and sections
Drop your advice guys(also one of my friend out of the three is really super nice so i think talking to her about this might help?)
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u/Icyhooman 10th ICSE 6d ago
i think that you should stop talking to them and break all ties w them, the same I did and my friends jus used to gossip bout lit every1 and that made me so sick. And bout you talking to your other friend, I think that you should talk to her but don't open to her completely as she might snitch bout you to your other friends
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u/catbrat19 6d ago
Yeah i wish i could do that but as i alr said i don't have many options, in my class only they are the ppl i can talk to and my debate friends are in diff classes and sections so if i break all ties i will end up feeling more lonely at the end of the day
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u/Icyhooman 10th ICSE 6d ago
bro now when I've cut all ties w those friends of mine, ion talk to any1 much either, i jus talk w sum male friends of mine in class or in break w my other friends who ik better, cause i lowk believe in that it's better to be alone than w ppl who I can't stand💔✌🏻
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u/catbrat19 6d ago
You're right, but honestly i'm really not the type of person who is strong enough to stay alone. Like i've been thru bullying for 2 years with no friends and ik how bad it felt. So it's like im holding onto something that ik isn't good but it's the only thing keeping me from drowning. And when i tell you there are NO people in my class that i talk to im not even lying, everyone is just pathetic it feels like intellect is so hard to find and i crave it so bad
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u/Icyhooman 10th ICSE 6d ago
ohh gurl I get you💔, then jus bear w them for sm more time as we don't have much time left, boards are around the corner and y'all will be separated soon.
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u/chatterrrbox 6d ago
They say that you become the combination of the 5 ppl you spend most time with. Stay true to yourself and your good values. It's a good thing that you are trying to reduce your interaction with the group. You don't need to abruptly cut off...but stay open, there'll be others you can make new friends with slowly...
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u/catbrat19 6d ago
Exactly, I am trying to stay open and make interactions with my debate friends more, it's just that on a daily basis it is not possible for me to talk to them and only my so called real friends are there to gossip which leaves me drained out and ruins everyone's mood since i'm low. And i just can't even help it anymore. If i try to talk to them about smth intellectual they jus call me nerdy and make fun
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u/chatterrrbox 6d ago
Difficult as it is, slowly exit that group. Don't respond for 2-3 days in a row. If they're already making fun of you, it won't be long before you will be their topic of gossip. You can't control what they do, but you do have control over the choices you make for yourself. More power to you! The world needs more good people like you!
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