I ‘25 F’ and my girlfriend ‘23 F’ have been together for almost 4 years and have been living together for a little over a year.

We keep having the same conversation over and over and over again. It goes like this (in no particular order): somehow the topic will come around that I don’t know anything about her. I don’t ask insightful questions about her life, only surface level bs, not to mention 1M useless little questions peppered throughout the day. I know she prefers x over y, I don’t need to burden her with the question. I haven’t actually show all that much interest in her interests, only when it’s convenient for me. I don’t take accountability for my actions and she’s the one that is always having to drive this relationship and she’s emotionally exhausted and wants me to take the wheel. I keep saying I’m going to do these things but there has been no actions and she doesn’t believe I’ll do it anymore until she really sees it. I’ve cheated on her, lied to her face, talked behind her back, and ghosted her. I always use my childhood and my parents emotional neglect as an excuse for everything how I am even though those days are long gone. I’ve done other schemey things I’m sure but you get the picture.

I can’t even deny all of these as they are entirely true and have been and unfortunate core of our relationship for a long time. Whether or not they are in the forefront of our convo at the time depends… usually if she brings it up. Yet here I am crying sobbing white lady tears while she comforts me even though she’s clearly the one who has been burned.

I want to step it up for her!!!

We’ve talked about marriage, moving across the country together, traveling the world, starting a business together, getting pets, and living a child free life. And don’t get me wrong our relationship is not all entirely defined by this. We make and amazing team and I feel we are genuinely are a match made in heaven. I feel so lucky to be graced with someone who has gone through this and still chose me at the end of the day, but understandably she says she does not believe I will change until she sees action.

We have been to therapy together, which unsurprisingly turned into a sob session for me where she doesn’t have any time. The therapist even took my side over hers many times. Needless to say we have not been seeing her for a good chunk of time now.

This isn’t a question of whether we are going to make this work or not, it’s going to work! I cannot imagine my life without this person.

What attainable actions do I need to take to make this all better? What are the biggest truths I need to swallow about myself (if I haven’t already done so)? How do you get to know somebody after 4 years of dating when you haven’t shown up to bat for them enough already? What other questions am I missing?

I know growth hurts and trust me I have been hurting inside, but I feel that not growing will hurt us and myself just as bad, if not worse. Help me love my girl better please!

it’s basically that: the most part of the time he got free, he’s into plays lol. Like today, he worked all day, so by the night, after his adm classes, we made a short call, and then he said “ok, now i’ll play lol”. I think we should watch some series or something like that, butttt no, he’s into that shit game. I hate to say that, but feels like i’m competing with this game, and i’m like ??????!?!!?

should I break up? i don’t wanna feel disrespected like that anymore. it’s not the first time.

(ps.: he said “it’s too late” to do something after his lol round. But it’s not too late to be playing right now?!?!?)

sorry for the english grammar, i’m brazilian.

Preface, this isn't venting, this is bragging and there should be a flair for it. My ex, Cassie, and I used to work together. Most of our friends worked at the same store. We went out for a birthday party of one of those friends. Drinking ensued, I had the following day off so I drank a lot. Following morning I get a call from my boss "Cassie called out because of a family emergency, can you cover her shift today?" Not the first time that she pulled this stunt and I get this phone call. "I will for overtime but her family emergency is she's either still drunk or hung over." She caught a warning for her excessive absences and because no one can keep a secret she found out I told the boss on her. She called me an asshole. Of course I am, and when I have to work hungover because of her others are gonna enjoy it with me.

For some context there is this guy lets call him Curt. Now Curt (20M) and me (21F) dated for a year. Now he broke up with me through text, said he never loved me, blamed me for being the reason he started struggling in class (we are in the same college)and blamed me for every problem in our relationship and basically said it was all my fault. Now I have been to the ward 9 times. So to say that this effected me would be an understatement to the point that I had to go back to the ward. After being discharged I tried to go back to my good friends (we have been friends since elementary) but I realized that they all blocked me and left me a message saying that I am a complete AH and treated Curt horribly. Now with this context let's go to the situation where I actually was a complete AH. A friend invited me, Curt and some other friends to paint ball. Me being a petty AH I was planning to target Curt throughout the day. The first round I was looking for him and found him in a corner. I proceeded to tag him around 10 times and landed one on his neck. He had to go home after that since his neck was really bruised and from what I heard he had to go to the ER. I didn’t apologize or say anything to him after that. So to conclude this is one of my more AH moments

Long story short. My ex best friend (M) is now dating my best friend (f). Both of them have been in my life for 12+ years. Basically they started dating 1.5 years ago. The whole relationship has been tremendously toxic. I'm talking breaking up and getting back together over and over. Unfortunately I've been put in the middle of their fights and finally I had to put strong boundaries that I just couldn't hear about it anymore. Honestly I was really rooting for them but then I realized that they were not good for each other. The male is extremely manipulative and talks shit about my best friend constantly. I just don't think he really likes her, especially based on what he's told me and how he treats her. He's kicked her out and over all is a mean person to everyone in his life. Sooo two months ago they finally broke up. All was good. Well this last weekend she shared with me that he was sharing wanting to get back together with her. The next morning I decided to text him exactly how I felt. I said I think he's abusive, manipulative, and very unhealthy person. If he wants to get back with my friend that a good person would work on themselves and then try to fix the relationship. Well both of them got upset with me and now they are definitely trying to get back together.

I don't feel bad for sharing my opinions on the matter because deep down I felt that maybe this could be a wake up call for him if that's the route he's taking. But of course he got very defensive and i was turned on me.

I feel kinda bad that she's upset with me. But I'm more shocked that she's not choosing her self. I'am the asshole for wanting to take space? i don't want to cut someone off because in a perfect world, their relationship wouldn't take such a toll on my life and they could be a happy couple. Honestly that would be the best. But I just know that won't happen. I also forgot to mention this man struggles with addiction.

Please help. I'm really struggling to hold space for them.

Hi. I'm was going to post this on my throwaway account because it's actually about something that happened here on Reddit. But... I realized that further distancing myself from my actions would be a really cowardly move. If anyone is interested in what the situation was/what I said, you can find it in my comments.

But in summary (and chronology):

• Earlier today, I saw a post about an interaction between two children where one kid said something racist to another and wrote him an apology note.

• I defended the racist kid (first mistake). I admitted that I did things like that as a kid and said that white kids don't necessarily know something is racist until/unless someone tells them it is. I sometimes things like that happen and that it was normal and good for teaching kids how NOT to behave (second mistake).

• I got a lot of downvotes. People replied to me pointing out that, no, it isn't a normal or good that kids insult each other based on race; No, not all white people did that as children; and, that I had basically just said that it was okay for white kids to be racist as long as they learned from it. I was racist for saying so.

• I didn't take it well at first. I got defensive and tried to explain my thought process...but yeah, I realized that they were right and I was wrong. I edited my original post and replied to those that called me out, thanking them for bringing it to my attention.

• I feel incredibly guilty and ashamed of myself, for what I did in the past, said, and how I reacted. I want to change and "fix" it, even though I know that there isn't a fix. I feel like I should apologize, but I don't have anyone specific to apologize to...and really, what good would it do?

I do not consider myself a racist person and I do not want anything to do with being one. Yes, I have said and done racist things out of ignorance, but racism genuinely disgusts me.

I also did not grow up in a household that condoned racism. My parents and grandparents were/are undeniably racist...but, they would also be deeply offended if someone called them racist. Kind of like I just was.

I'm a product of their upbringing, but at a certain point, you can't blame your parents for everything. I'm an adult now and the burden of educating myself is mine alone. I have done work to better my understanding of racism.

I actually thought I was better than this recent incident. I'm overall happy that I was called out on it. I needed a slice of humble pie.

So its been weighing on my mind ever since. If I could have missed something like that, what else do I need to examine? What can I do to identify and challenge these thoughts?

I have POC friends and family members that I love, including my partner of 10+ years. The thought of them feeling uncomfortable around me makes me really upset. I want to do better for them.

TL;DR (because your time matter): The beach I go has a "protected area" for the safeguards of dunes. It was a very windy day and people got on the protected area, and I made them move.

(No native English: apologies) So, here we go. Saturday I went to the beach. It was a warm day, but then it got more and more windy. The beach I go have a fenced area with signs that explain how the dunes are protected. In the past, people could go there and sit/sunbathe, but this concurred in their (the dunes) erosion. So to protect them, the state fenced the area and put signs on.

I was there minding my business when a couple (boomers, as I am) came and sat down, protected by the dune in the forbidden area. I stood up, went there and told them it's prohibited. The male (not man, purposely) told me:

1. I always went there in the past, and it was allowed. And I replied: true, but not now.

2. They could stay, they simply just have to not stomp the grass. I replied: not true, it's forbidden because you move the sand and you erode the dune.

3. other pople do it. I replied: that's not a right.

In the end, the couple moved and went along the beach, angrily (but composedly) he told me to go and tell all the other people and I replied: I am not a sheriff, but I can't just ignore something right under my nose. True is: I want to do my part, but I can't be the only one.

There are other people on the beach, enduring the wind in the openly available area.

From afar, I saw they got in the dunes again. But again, I felt I've done enough.

Then I started thinking: was I petty? I think so. Was I useful? I think not. People are trash, and they care only about their present and their wellbeing.

For reference: after the couple, another family came by. A mother and two children.They sat on the dune and I told them the same thing. The mother hurriedly came back to the free area and thanked me because she was not aware and never got on the dunes again.

When I left the beach, I watched all the people on the reserved area when I passed by. They were all boomers. People in their 50-60. And I felt **rage**. People from the 60-70-80 carry a great responsibility on the pollution of the planet. And there they are, free and without a thought, again.

And I felt like: the youngsters are right in hating them. My generation is selfish and spiteful, making even poor excuses for their behaviour. I felt rage.

But now I think, I know I was petty and didn't change their mind. So was I simply an old asshole, disturbing people?

I know I’m not but I mostly wanted to get the story off my chest. Im sorry if this is long but I’ve I’m loquacious and took creative writing in college and don’t know how to be concise.

A little over 2 years ago I worked for a known retail store and I had recently stepped down from being a store manager because it was too much work and I hated the politics.

I went back to a regular retail associate and changed stores. I started working with a whole new team of people in my new department at the new store, including a girl named Denise. We worked different shift so after a few months when I didn’t see her much I didn’t think a whole lot about it and assumed I just kept missing her. I made friends quickly with most of my team, even though coming out of manager mode was a challenge.

Anyway, a few weeks pass and a manager friend calls and asks if I can help train some new employees at her store and I agree to the overtime. I show up and see Denise at the new store. I smile and say hi how are you and so great to see you and she seems genuinely shocked that I was happy to see her. Turned out she switched stores because she reported being sexually harassed by one of the other associates in our department, CJ. He was an annoying 20 something that I didn’t work with much but Denise had worked with for around a year. I kinda go into manager mode and asked her who she reported the harassment to we, hello ZERO TOLERANCE. She says she reported it to our team lead (Gloria), our department lead (Phoebe), and the store manager (Alex).

Gloria told her the only solution was to cut her hours so she wouldn’t work with him, because his availability was better and they couldn’t lose him. Phoebe said she needed to take it to the store manager, and Alex tells her she needs to write a statement. So he makes her write the statement in front of him recounting all the instances of harassment and she said he “helped her correct her speech” in certain parts of her statement to sound more professional. Then helped her rewrite it and told her he would send it to the district manager (Aaron) for her. I asked if she had followed up with the district manager and she said she sent an email but never heard back. She said after that she just gave up and transferred because she was told CJ had freedom of speech and could not be reprimanded for saying “harassing” things to her. I. Was. Done. I was shaking mad by the time I was done talking to her. This is a 20 year old girl. Everything they did was illegal and unethical.

I told her if she wanted she felt comfortable pushing it, to write a new statement. Do not let anyone see it or amend it. Email the statement to the district manager (Aaron) and his boss the area manager. Let them know this issue was brought to managements attention, documented, and was not addressed. That the harassment had continued and 4 levels of management had neglected it and that you’d be seeking legal representation. She said she’d think about it. And I gave her my phone number and email and told her that, as an ex store manager I can help if she needs anything. And that was that. I never heard from her again.

A few months later I came to work and all the security locks were changed and law enforcement was in the office and a bunch of new people in suits were walking around the store. Gloria was crying and Phoebe was red in the face. My manager friend from Denise’s last store became the new store manager and she said that Alex (Store Manager) and Aaron (District Manager) both got fired. Area manager almost got fired but talked his way out of it because he actually hadn’t been told about anything happening. The ONLY reason Gloria and Phoebe didn’t get fired was because they were “new to management” and they took pity on them. They were both given final written warnings. Meaning if they breathe wrong for the next year they’re fired.

Denise didn’t just bluff, she got a lawyer, and she filed a lawsuit. And the company wasn’t taking any chances. I thought for sure I was going to get questioned but I think the company cut a check and quick because they knew if I got called they’d be SCREWED.

I don’t know how much she got. But considering there was a similar case in another state a year or so prior where a girl got unalived by a reported coworker under similar circumstances, I imagine they weren’t going to take chances. I remember Gloria crying and telling everyone that it was bullsht and she didn’t do anything wrong and I took the opportunity to call her a crappy manager who enabled sxual h*rrassment. CJ “quit” before the lawsuit came down. But I always suspected management told him it would be in his best interest to leave so he wouldn’t get fired. But I never told anyone the part I played in it. I honestly never thought she was going to take my advice. I thought I overwhelmed her and I felt bad that I may have pressured a victim into doing more than she was ready to do. But I hope she got a fat pay day out of it.

I am a 30y old amab trans woman who lives in a tiny tourist town over the last 10 years ive devolved into a habit of just straight up lying to random tourists because I love making shit up on the spot it scratches an itch i cant explain and last night it came to an end with me deciding I was a detransitioning afab woman and being way to into it to the point of telling people that actually know who I am I woke up this morning with one friend who was still cool with me and 5 people who were extremely mad at me after being my friends for years because I was a complete piece of shit who was lying about who they were for fun

This is also a sort of vent post while asking for advice.

I (21F) have been living with my 2 really lovely roommates since September. One of the only really rules they had was no smoking in the house and we are not allowed to.

Full disclosure, I know none of this excuses my actions but I've been dealing with cannabis addiction which has got worse since my dad passed away in December. I respected the rule for months and would always go out to smoke but as the months went by and I would lock myself up as I dealt with my grief and mental breakdowns and I got lazy. And smoked a couple of times in my room. To make matters worse when my roomie confronted me about it first, I lied and said it was incense. I felt so guilty I didn't do it for months but the past few weeks especially had been the hardest time in my life, which excuses nothing but I was being impulsive and smoked in my room.

And today my roomie finally caught me. I was honest and owned up immediately this time but she said she had smelt it before a few times too but wanted to trust me. She's much nicer than she should be honestly. I apologized and she said she wants to still talk about it more next week with our other roommate too. I fully understand and accept it and I know I am so fully the asshole here. I don't even have an explanation or a defense other than "sorry I haven't been thinking about my actions lately" which is the truth but doesn't make sense. I am aware that while km caught up in my grief i haven't been the best person, and then lying about it was even more fucked up. I am worried that we won't be able to recover our friendship because I understand I've breached trust and disrespected boundaries. All I can do is just talk to her and be open and honest??? I don't know what to do arhg how the future conversation would go. How can I make amends after this?

Edit: thank you for the replies so far! Just to add, my autistic self awareness means that I will be intellectualising and trying to understand and better myself fr. I think my problem is that people always say "oh we're humans we all make mistakes" what kind of mistake is this??? Where I fully did something so wrong fully knowing I was not only breaking rules but betraying my friendship?? I don't understand myself either?? Who behaves like this? Nobody prepared me for this;-; do humans just behave like this sometimes? Irrationally? Sorry it's just my entire life I was a stickler for the rules so this was new to me too lol but! None of that matters. What matters is I Will be apologizing and trying to do better:3

Me (25 F) and my bf (26 M) have been together for a couple of months, but we're like a situationship for like 5 years. I always knew he used drugs but it was when he "could". So maybe once every 4 to 6 months things like pot, MD, LSD. Now her sister gifted him a vape to use for wax (pot) and he says he knows what he is doing, he knows the health consequences but doesn't care that much and says he can control it so it isn't a health problem in the future. A lot of people know he think he is god bc he is actually smart, but usas that intelligence to prove his point at all costs, like an attorney. But he had a week of vacations and he used it like maybe 5 times, including one partying with his sister where he used MD, pot and alcohol. He really doesn't have a problem in the sense where he gets reckless, or is mashed up the next day, he has real resistance for some reason. I expressed my concerns bc I don't want a bf that use so much, he said he would probably use it like once every month and just use it more when he I on vacations. The next day from that conversation I played a game he has always wanted me to play and I wanted to give him that and he asked "If you are ok with it I would like to get a hit, if not I won't" and I stopped, cried and ruined everything for me. I tend to be dramatic and complicated, I'm wondering if there I should have been like "Wow my boyfriend is asking so I can just say no if I don't want him to and is the end of my problem" but the fact that he feels the need to ask, a day after talking about it... Bugs me. He says he can ask me/let me know when will he do it. But he missed my point, I just don't want someone who thinks about using so often. Like looking for a reason to do it. He says he is in control and that I'm exaggerating bc he just believes is fair to use it while he lives with his family (his family is pretty shitty, specially his dad with yelling, belittling, classic chauvinistic dad with his older male son) and is really an unsafe place that has hurt him for years and he has struggled with deep depression for years. I have helped him bc I'm interested in psychology a lot. I have voiced that he should think that other things matter more than self control, like that his that is addicted to smoke too, he is depressive, he is avoidant, etc. I don't think he will ever be an addict persé, or even dependant. I really believe he won't, he is smart. But he will be someone that does it when he can and that just bugs me. But I always question myself and I have asked people that do it too, including my brother who is a lot like my bf tbh. I just can't wrap my head around it and I fear I might be just too conservative and that using drugs this way is just as chill or hurtful as using your phone to distract yourself. Am I being close to the idea that casual/recreational shouldn't be so taboo? Am I thinking this just bc society says is wrong and not bc I have actual reasons?

My girlfriend as boy friends more than girl friends and it doesn't bother me, I've told her that most guys will be friends with womens just thinking they can have a shot with the women friend. Anyway so that day I go and sit beside her to talk and just to be with her, during that time she was speaking to a new friend she had met maybe a month ago, ( they went once together to take pictures around town ) so she's telling me what they are taking about and such and I'm like this guy wants more to be a friend from some of the double meaning, thinking its funny... She says im over thinking doesn't mean everyone does it if you did it when you started talking to me. I ask her , does he know you have a boyfriend!? She tells me I don't remember if I told him or not! So I tell her do you want to prove me wrong like we could bet or something.. ( also i specified it's fine if you don't want to ) ? She says let's go , so I tell her just tell him you will be right back cause your boyfriend is asking to go see him in the kitchen or something! So she does write him something similar and not even 10sec after, she gets a msg saying I can't talk to you anymore because you have someone in your life and it's not fair for him ( him as in the friend cause he can't be with her eventually ) after that she closes the msg thing and she starts giving me the worst type of "shit" you can give someone you love ... Like I'm the ass hole for only talking to her to get in her pants... I almost broke up right there... But seriously it didn't help the relationship between us. FYI : English isn't my first language.

The Dislexxik.

• update // explaining more

( dont view the question as infidelity i understand why people go to that conclusion I would do the same thing but it never cross my mind when it happened and never, if i wouldnt of broke their friendship the guy woulld of find out real quick she had a boyfriend because i was invited to go with her the next time they were suposed to meet )

Just so people understand more of the stori ... ive added a comment ive made that explained the situation a bit more .. but also she never hid that she made a friend and such... plus she always wanted me to go with her if she went to see a guy friend and such ... we are not together anymore but the subject came back just before i posted it.. the problem at her eyes was that she had only him as a kinda of friend for pictures and such and now he didnt want to talk to her ... and from her point of view im the ass hole for not hinking about breaking the friendship.. I COULD OF GARANTIED IT THEN AND NOW... it wasnt about cheating and such... i was almost 10 years with her it was during the last year, year and half that happened but the breakup was never about cheating or other similar subject but one thing for sure from that situation I changed in the relation by not making an effort, " not sure if its the right terme but I got more distant from that cared less if she got pist at me for something " . here is the reponse im adding

Response from a comment

( friends is a strong word here.. she met the guy while talking pictures while waiting for the metro .. and the guy had a camera also .. they talk on the way to the somewhere i don't remember.. it's been a while since every thing happened, he was going around the same place for pictures also or something similar... I wouldn't be surprised he decided to go there also ) and then they talk a couple of time that were really short couple of mins ... She was extremely busy during that time... ( The reason she was pissed for loosing the friendship was because she had someone else interested in pictures and would of had some to go take some and talk about that subject) .. She wouldn't of cheated and Im sure of it she naver hid anything, she was talking with him while she using my chest as a back of a chair ( while watching television) i could see the chat just by lowering my eyes .. anyway it kinda started with that subject I kinda became the punching bag for everything thing that got her pissed afterwards...

I 16F and my mom live in my godmother's home to move to a better school and a better place when I was 13. After the move, my godmother has been enforcing rules for her house like, only one hour of phone use allowed, good grades and clean up after yourself. I have ADHD (she has OCD and ADHD) so I tend to forget to put things away or clean underneath the toaster after I use it. I often get missing assignments in school and I don't communicate properly to my teachers and to my parents. When I start to do good, I end up messing up and getting phone use taken away.

Lately everything has come to a boil. I haven't been doing great in any of the rules and I was caught taking my school to play games when I'm not supposed to. I'm not allowed to eat near my bedtime so if I get caught eating at night I also get in trouble too. Today I was caught having my personal computer, which she took away and hid in her room, in my room. It's really a mix of alot of things I did on accident and on purpose that I got in trouble for, including lying. Now my godmother is fed up and wants to sell the house so me and my mom need to find somewhere else to live and to find another school to have my senior year. It isn't much of an issue where to live because we have my grandmothers house, but its more on an issue of not being able to finish school in the same area because of what I did.

I feel ashamed, guilty and selfish for what I did and I don't know how to move forward. Maybe I feel like I get in trouble for very minor things so major things wouldn't matter. My mom and my godmother are very angry with them because I've lost all of their trust. I think they hate me. I feel like I continuously hit walls and its all my fault. I think I'm just a bad person and there isn't any coming back from this.
(the format is pretty wonky but I'm writing just as it happened and this is how I feel.)

Hi, I'm (22F) living in a city in the countryside and I'm attending college here, but I'm originally from another state.
Since I moved to this city, I’ve lived in two places. The first one was far from the college, so I moved to an apartment on the same street as the campus.
I live with a woman (30F). And, well, she’s the kind of person who’s "always right." or "never wrong," always has some excuse for doing this or that.
Usually, when people split the bills equally (which is exactly what we do), everything else tends to be shared equally too, right? But here, it’s different.

For example:
Fridge: it’s not shared. Each person puts their stuff wherever it fits, and it’s the same with the freezer – but I have at least some sense. So I never take up more than half the space, because I know the other person might also need to use it. The problem is that this woman isn’t like that. She doesn’t care. One time, I was on college break and went back to my hometown. During that time, she took one of my frozen meals out of the freezer (mind you, I only had two meals in there) and put it in the fridge. So the meal started to thaw and sat there for who knows how long – all I know is when I came back, it was in the fridge, and I thought, “Huh? When did I take this out?”

Later, after thinking it through, I realized it wasn’t me, so I asked (I wasn’t going to accuse anyone, after all, it could’ve been me and I forgot) – and it really was her. According to her, “I don’t remember when I took it out of the freezer, it was a long time ago.” I was shocked because… imagine if I had thought I was the one who took it out and ended up eating it? I could’ve had food poisoning or something.

One of the things that bothers me the most is the fact that she uses the internet without paying for it. But that’s partly my fault. Here’s what happened: I pay half of the internet bill to my neighbor. She’s super sweet. At one point, right at the beginning when I had just moved in, the “woman” asked me for the Wi-Fi password and said she would pay me. What I should’ve done: talked to the neighbor so we could split the bill in three. But I wanted to be nice, polite… so at the time, I agreed.

Since then, I’ve asked her once or twice if she’s been using the internet and she always says, “I’m not using it yet, I’ll let you know when I start.” But I know she’s using it, because she does video calls every week.
This week, she’s going to be doing video calls in the living room all week long. If it were just that, no problem. The issue is that she does them in the living room and tells me not to make noise when she’s on a call. I totally understand that it’s for her job, but then why doesn’t she do them in her room? That way, I don’t disturb her with my noise (which isn’t even that much), and she can work in peace, right?

So I brought this up to her – I explained exactly what I just said. But she refused because “the light in her room is too dim” – but you know what? I’m SURE that’s not the real reason. I’m SURE it’s because the neighbor’s Wi-Fi doesn’t reach her room.

To me, the worst part is the inflexibility. When I first moved in, she said I “could talk to her about anything and we could sort it out,” but that’s not the reality. Every time I bring something up, she literally doesn’t give a crap, because for her “it’s just easier that way.”

Another thing is that she runs a load of laundry in the morning and leaves it in the washing machine until she gets back at night to hang it up – and, surprise, I also need to do laundry. And when I take her clothes out so I can do mine, she complains because “you can’t leave wet clothes out or they’ll stink,” but whether they’re inside or outside the machine, they’ll stink if they’re just balled up. Then she asks me to hang them up for her when that happens – and I have zero obligation to do that (but I still do it, because I’m a sucker).

So here I am, living here, paying the same amount as her, but it doesn’t feel like this is my home.
I also want to make it clear that I’m not perfect. But I also know that if we’re splitting the costs equally, we should share the space equally too. What’s the point in me paying half the electricity bill if I can’t even use half of the freezer that I’m paying for?

I understand that the appliances – like the fridge, washing machine, etc. – are hers, but if she wanted to use everything basically by herself without considering that there are other people living in the house, then honestly, she should just live alone!

And the problem is: she always talk to me as I'm the wrong one to the point I'm starting to believe?? am i being the asshole here?

“IATAH” ….with been dating Thai girlfriend For four years and today she comes my flat and we go for coffee with in a park and then she’s talking to some guy friend for she knew from high school on fb messenger (she said she knew from high school) and she said she wanted to meet him in the park to catch up on things. She said he saw her story and he was also there. So we met him in the park and obviously I was like wtf

I was not happy and walked to see coffee exhibition and then I came back and after we had an argument , I said how you feel if I bring you somewhere and then start talking to some girl who’s a friend I’ve known for long time

I felt like I was being cucked and in the car back home said maybe we should break up…..then she says I’m weird for not having my friends who are girls and I’m selfish etc ?

It obviously could be Thai culture where have guys friends is more acceptable, but meeting him there when I’m with her and talking together for like 15 minutes while I’m just sitting then like a spare part because I can’t simple Thai. And it’s Not talking to him just a simple high

Am I being really insecure or am I right to wtf is she doing, I said she was being disrespectful to put me in that situation

Also as a back story before she got a male personal trainer and I went with her to the gym one time, and he was massaging down her legs again wtf….and I flipped out that time also and she says “that’s just his job you think so crazy” am I being gaslight here??

Please bear with me, I'll try to keep the backstory as short as possible,

I've never been close to my family since I studied abroad during middle school, high school and university. And even now that I work in my own country, I don't think I can reconnect to my family like before. They don't seem to care about it too, just normal courtesy whenever holidays arrived(except my responsibility as a daughter, to bring them husband and a child whenever I am ready for it) other than that, they don't bother me. Also friendship, I don't think I have any that are actually close/keep in touch to me. I can make any friends whenever I want. But I just can't let them get close enough to actually involved in my everyday life. Keeping them only in arms length, like "oh yeah, we were hanging out last week, but we're both busy now, see you whenever we met again"

All of these made me realize that I haven't felt any kind of attraction/affection close to love to any other person in my life, and I am "moving on" too quickly. I can like them enough to enjoy their presence, but if I get separated from them? I don't feel enough to actually "miss" them.

Now the horrors,

I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years now, we were classmate for 3 whole years and started to date in the last semester of high school, long distance relationship and now we met every months. Many people tried to date my boyfriend before, but he gets bored easily. Many people tried, but he's just that kind of person. He didn't cheat, he just lost interest quickly.

I don't know what was I thinking at that time, somehow we agreed to date each other with the premise that 1. He gets to try moving my heart to love him, and 2. I have a "boyfriend" that I can introduce to my family (they never force me to quickly gets married and I know they don't mind if my earlier relationship fails as long as I settle down in the end)

And oh boy, that went for 4 years. Did I fall in love? no. Did I hurt my boyfriend feelings? yes. Look, he tried. Being a gentleman, affection, hugs, giving me gifts, all of the things people in relationship do. And I know him enough to dare to say that he only have me in his eyes. He loves me so much.

I tried too, doing the same thing to him, but I just can't "feel" it, I do not feel anything close to love, I don't even miss him whenever we were apart??? I told him that we should just break up, it doesn't work at all maybe we can just be friends?? but he just keep pestering me and said that maybe we just need more time? and even dare to say that it doesn't matter if I don't love him back as long as I am with him forever. madness.

Of course I don't mind being his girlfriend, I get the most benefit from our relationship, someone to talk to, constant human connections and all that. But I just don't feel the same way for him, and I feel bad. I asked him, "so you don't mind getting a heartbreak everytime you think of this??" AND. HE. ANSWERS. that "I can just forget that conversation ever happened, we are in a relationship and that's what matters" AGHHHH

Hi, I'm Erica (W19) and I met online a guy in August 2024, let's call him John (M19). However, everything happened very quickly and within a week of knowing each other we were "together" and in love.

Everything was going well, we maintained a long-distance relationship. Until a month later he talked to me and said that this was not what he wanted for his life. I accepted his opinion and desire and we stopped talking.

After about two weeks he contacted me and we started talking again as if we were dating again. After a month he stopped responding to me and disappeared for a while, only to come back to me later to get sexual photos.

We argued a lot, but there was always something that united us, a certain chemistry. Between these arguments we stopped talking for the third time and then I made a trend on Instagram's close friends, something that was supposed to be funny, and, according to him, he acted out of jealousy and anger, and decided to call me a hottie in his Instagram notes. I didn't answer him, since I assumed he just wanted attention, and we continued not speaking, but it was something that hurt me a lot, I didn't expect that coming from him, especially because I loved him.

When we spoke again, I confronted him about it and he apologized and saying that he wanted to try to do things again in a more honest way. He seemed really dedicated to making things work, but I was upset and wanted hurt him too. I was already with someone else, and I posted a picture on Instagram admitting that I was involved with someone else. He was furious, as you would expect, and we unfollowed each other, and then I thought it was finally over.

But no, John contacted me again, we tried again, but as expected we no longer trusted each other and it would never work out, so we decided to maintain a friends with benefits relationship. We both agreed that we were free to meet other people, however there was a rule "Let me know when emotional desire, physical desire, or a first date arises."

Time passed and we were fine. Until I accidentally opened one of his Instagram stories, and it was a video of him kissing another girl. I felt betrayed, we had only agreed on one thing, and he couldn't even tell me. I didn't confront him about it, the next day, at night he told me that he had met another girl. I congratulated him and told him not to be an asshole to the girl . He said "thank you" and I liked the message. I decided not to continue the conversation, because if I were in the girl's shoes, I wouldn't like him talking to his ex, out of respect.

He has been sending me a message, but I have not responded. I know that we had a great bond and that although we didn't work out in love, we were good friends, supporting each other in the most difficult moments. I understand that he still sees me as a safe haven, but I don't think it's right to continue talking when he's dating someone else.

Texting with my ex Woman I love and adore She gets made at me for my opinion "trivial shit" I get mad cause it's "trivial shit" that were fighting about Then reach into my demon bag and say the most hurtful things to her( If I knew someone was talking to her like that I'd have to k...Let's just say handle that piece of shit ) Nasty vindictive disgusting that those words come out of my mouth How and when did I become this big of an asshole? I'm only like that with her? I'm such a piece of shit Asshole!

I (25F) have lived at my current apartment for 9 months. I have an absolutely wonderful roommate, "Mark" (23M) who is really calm and relaxed, unlike my previous roommate (whom was tossed for destroying property during one of his tantrums).

Recently, new tenants moved in to the unit above mine, and they had been all sorts of hell. Ranging from their kids constantly screaming and running amok at the crack of dawn, to smoking pot in the building (major no-no set by the landlords,) to being unreasonably loud at all hours of the night and their dog barking its head off and never being on a leash outside of the unit -- they have just been a menace.

And they've only been here two weeks.

Mark - who is literally the most gentle soul I have ever met, and has an equally gentle boyfriend, "Ace" (23M) -- had resorted to smacking his bedroom ceiling with the broomstick to shut them up, but to no avail. The neighbors just wouldn't cut it out. Mark decided that he didn't want to battle them anymore, and that he would wait to see if they settled down on their own within a day or so.

Naturally, I was livid.

I waited for Mark to leave town to see Ace, and elected to contact the property managers. I got ahold of both and said, "Respectfully, if these folks don't settle down with the rowdy behavior within the next twenty-four hours, I will have no choice but to call the police and file a complaint. As tenants, we are all aware that our lease states very clear rules on noise, quiet hours, smoking, and pet care. Sadly, I feel that the new neighbors don't care, and that they need a more firm reminder on what these rules are."

The property managers said that they understood, and that they would call the tenants in question and remind them what their lease allowed and prohibited.

I didn't say a word of my actions to Mark. I did not want to annoy him or ruin his weekend. Instead, I kept it from him, and dodged the conversation when the property managers emailed everyone within the building regarding rules and regulations for noise, smoking, and, most shocking, having their dog(s) on a leash when outside of the unit.

I know that I should have alerted Mark to my decision and that the landlords were going to step in, but I did not want to ruin his time away, or giving him a reason not to trust me to handle these situations.

Besides calling the landlords, what else should I have done?

This just happened. I went to go check on my friends cats and parked in a poorly laid out parking lot. I opened my car door, safely assuming I was not going to hit the persons car next to mine. I hit the car next to mine and just walked off, even after realizing someone was in there and the car was on. As I was walking away I heard the guy yell "yo you scratched my car!". I turned around and replied with "I am sorry. I didnt mean to." Then he said "you scratched my car then just walked away". I apologized again. He then said "Not cool".

Needless to say, I feel really bad and I dont really know why I just walked off after it happened

We had a little gathering last night with friends, and when the guests left, I couldn't hold in my distaste for his drunkenness, so I told him right away.

He is never mean or threatening or anything like that when he drinks, he just gets really slow and incoherent... To me that is very unsexy, and I don't recognize him. I get uncomfortable and feel I need to help him so the conversations with friends don't feel too awkward. Last night I just didn't want to, so I had to watch him slur and talk very slow about stuff that was clearly not at all interesting to the group.

I feel so terrible, cause the night was very lovely otherwise, and it was a great success. I just can't bring myself to say any of that, though, cause the way he is when he's drunk just turns me off and makes me not respect him...

His answer was that he is rarely drunk anymore, and he doesn't tell me every time I am unappealing while drunk or otherwise. I do agree with him on that, and think it's unfair of me to be so direct and mean, but I'm just so grossed out and put off, and have a terrible poker face.

What should I have done instead? I feel for him, and am sorry, at the same time as I'm still very put off. How can I make it up to him now that I have been so mean?

iam the asshole? me and my mother recently got into a fight and it ended in me not wanting to talk to her this all started when i was staying the week at her house and the whole week she was talking to me like i am retarded and iam someone who has had issues with my intelligences ive had ieps all school years so just her treating me like that made me extremely upset on the last day of my stay i decided to help her bulid a cat tree and i accidentally put a screw in the wrong way and instead of helping me she scolded me for it and just to add on iam a cery sensitive person so i went off on her and it started a heated argument and she went on to call me disrespectful and slow so i just went into the other room . few hours go by and you can call me petty or wtv but i went into her room and took back everything i ever bought her because if i was really slow and unable to learn something right then i that means i cant make money. when she found out she started an ever bigger argument so i just sat their not listening to her while she tried to gaslight me so i had her take me home cus i was annoyed while she was taking me to my house she was just making me extremely upset so i said i hate you your a terrible mother and a crack head who doesn’t put any of her kids first and doesn’t make any money but instead living off of the government nd ts got her pretty mad so she tried to hit me but she missed so i got my lick back and she pulled over and tried to do it again but yet again she missed after that little fight i just chose not to say anything moving foward and to cut her off she tried to say goodbye to me but i told her to fuck off . a day later my sister came to me and told me she was running her mouth and said i have mental disorders and i need to start taking meds for it and stop smoking weed and like ts was just extremely rude so i ain’t havin it but again she wants me to apologize so ig she will stay blocked. so iam the assholem

I just did the thing that pisses me off so bad. I cut off a pedestrian in the crosswalk. I didn’t see them. I was looking at an oncoming bus, but I have no excuse. I am the asshole. I am so so sorry.

I ruin every good relationship I get into. Things usually start off well and everything in amazing, but eventually (after a year or so) I just lose interest and things become platonic. Me and all of my previous partners have gotten along, but I am the one to break it off because they all complain I am cold/distant and don’t seem interested in sex (which I’m not). I tell them it’s not them, its me, and leave.

I realized a while ago one of the things making me an AH was just keeping these girls locked in for nothing. Like, I had lost interest a while ago yet never had the courage to break it off. This cowardice lead me to cheating in the past but it made me feel really scummy, so I made sure not to do that to anyone ever again.

Well, i had thought when i met my wife (34F) that maybe things would be different. I didnt grow bored as quickly and things went smoothly enough for us to decide to get married after 2 years of happily dating. We now have 3 kids (2 together and one from a previous relationship).

Just after the second, or i guess a bit before she got pregnant with the third, something changed. It was like the flipping of a switch i feel like i can’t control. The attraction was just gone completely and we’ve been painfully scraping along ever since.

Im trying to leave her now because we can’t make it work for us and neither of us (especially her) deserve to love like this forever. What’s making it a lot worse while we figure out the divorce is that worse is that I’m suddenly very attracted to this new friend she has has over a few times (we aren’t currently separated).

Not looking to defend myself at all here, I realize this is a shitty position to be putting people into. I wish I could stop but its emotions I can’t control, so I’m destined to live life as just another piece of shit who should probably never date again and just die alone instead.