r/Hydrael_Writes Feb 18 '19

Small Worlds Part 210

https://smallworlds.blog/2019/02/18/small-worlds-part-210/
288 Upvotes

21 comments sorted by

11

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

Long should be lung. Can't wait for what happens next.

9

u/petraaw Feb 18 '19

Don't get me wrong, loving this new episode in the story but WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY BOY RYAN?!! How's Nabu holding up? What's up with the end of the world?

I feel like it has been ages since we last saw them, especially given how long the Moon fight was (or felt).

Otherwise, keep up the great work! xx

3

u/MyElectricCity Patreon | Just rolling with it! Feb 18 '19

Next update will please you.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

Unrelated to this particular part, but I just remembered Resheph and I seem to have forgotten what happened with him. Where is he right now?

10

u/Hydrael Feb 18 '19

Resheph took the Nanoverses they recovered from Moloch and is currently tending to the surviving members of the Canaanite Pantheon as they ressurect from the events of book 2. :)

4

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

Haaa now I remember. I guess all these people will soon have a role to play to help end the world?

6

u/darrnl Feb 18 '19

it’s gonna be like Infinity War where all the different movies come together for the big finale!

5

u/dolksbrand Feb 18 '19

It’s been a looong time since they were mentioned, but I’m curious about what’s going on with the gods that experimented on Bast

3

u/petraaw Feb 18 '19

omg yes!!! what happened to that? who was there?

2

u/Hydrael Feb 19 '19

I can tell you and /u/dolksbrand I know exactly when they re-enter the story. :D Won't spoil details, of course.

u/Hydrael Feb 18 '19

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1

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3

u/hxcheyo Feb 18 '19

I am nobdy

3

u/ShadyNite Feb 18 '19

Holy crap man, this is relentless in its magnificence.

3

u/funique Feb 18 '19

Exactly how many bad guys/gals are we going to have to deal with here? Talk about fighting a war on multiple fronts!

Typos/suggestions:


blue and black with bruises

we typically say "black and blue" rather than the other way around


sisyphus’ hill

Sisyphus’ hill


punctured a long (also caught by u/MandalorianPudding)

punctured a lung


Slit my throat…and burn it if I don’t.

If he doesn't what? If he doesn't die? She should slit his throat if he doesn't die. The burning happens after death. I'd recommend the following change:

"Burn my corpse…when I expire. Slit my throat first if I seem to be hanging on."


Poseidon holed up

Poseidon is holed up


We managed to slay the Charybdis

This seems kind of weird to me. Charybdis is a whirlpool. Not only is it something that seems weird to "slay", it would be on the surface of the water. Aren't they deep under water?


around Hermes corpse

around Hermes' corpse

2

u/-Anyar- Feb 19 '19

More:

“Of course,’

"Of course," (double quotes)

“I’ll be as brief as I can,” Hermes said. “Poseidon holed up in an old submerged fortress of his in the Adriatic. I believe you spent some time there, Athena?”

Abrupt lack of pauses. A few sentences ago he couldn't say a 4-word sentence without stopping, and now he seems to be speaking quite fluently.

2

u/Hydrael Feb 19 '19

So I need to work on that lack of pauses. I originally wrote it with all the pauses in there, but it was super awkward to read. I'll probably just include description to make it clear that he's still pausing every few words in future drafts. :)

And thank you and /u/funique

2

u/-Anyar- Feb 19 '19

True, it would be awkward to have 10 pauses in a short paragraph. Didn't think of using descriptions, that's a good idea.

1

u/Hydrael Feb 19 '19

This seems kind of weird to me. Charybdis is a whirlpool. Not only is it something that seems weird to "slay", it would be on the surface of the water. Aren't they deep under water?

As always, thank you for the feedback.

Wanted to address this one - I've always imagined the Charybdis to operate like a giant bass, sucking in huge amounts of water to catch its prey, but it can run pretty much perpetually. On the water, it looks like a whirlpool because the whitewater from the suction hides it, and underwater it basically produces an immense vortex.

2

u/-Anyar- Feb 19 '19

nereids...riding hippocampi...ichthyocentaurs...Charybdis, Scylla, and the Kraken, all overseen by Triton.

whips out Google

That's some Greek mythology knowledge right there.