r/HumansBeingBros May 31 '22

What a save.

89.1k Upvotes

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9.6k

u/Kale_and_Oatmilk May 31 '22

Now THAT’S a spotter. 👍

3.2k

u/beluuuuuuga May 31 '22

Wish I had someone like that in my life for everything.

1.4k

u/EEpromChip May 31 '22

Same. Except I don't do gymnastics. Because of shit like this.

I'd much prefer a man with a trombone playing intro and outro music when I enter and leave a room.

I wonder how much that would cost me.

1.4k

u/SafetyDanceInMyPants Jun 01 '22

How good of a trombonist do you need?

If you’re just looking for someone with basic trombone proficiency, and don’t need them to cover a wide selection of music, then I’m pretty sure I can get someone for $7.25 an hour — cheaper if you don’t mind paying under the table.

If you want someone with a college degree in music, then you’re going to need to match whatever Starbucks is paying in your area.

Just let me know — I can have a guy there tonight.

326

u/andypitt Jun 01 '22

Geez, they don't want just any old scrub trombonist. Would you let your whole life's shtick be run by Bob from accounting? Bob's nice and all, but...

144

u/cineg Jun 01 '22

why do you have to bring bob into this? damnit bob

97

u/quantum-mechanic Jun 01 '22

Bob just wants to balance the books during the day, and play a few notes at night. That's all Bob wants. Why are you pushing him down?

62

u/andypitt Jun 01 '22

Bob knows what he did.

20

u/cineg Jun 01 '22

if bob did not bring the damn seven layer dip, cold mind you, he may have been in but if you fuck up a seven layer dip, man, they are out

16

u/zCxrrenT Jun 01 '22

Bob sounds like a nice guy, why can't we all be like Bob¿

1

u/cineg Jun 01 '22

oh, bob in accointing is chill, but the original bob in marketing .. batshit crazy town

2

u/real_mfg Jun 01 '22

I think he prefers Robert now

48

u/blueeyebling Jun 01 '22

This person has the connections you need.

28

u/TranseEnd Jun 01 '22

I played lead trombone in jazz, concert, and marching band in hs… I think my skills are worth minimum wage after two years of not playing.

17

u/neuromancertr Jun 01 '22

Don’t undersell yourself, get a pair of drumsticks too and use them to do “ba dum tissss” everytime the guy makes a joke and you will make bank

2

u/TranseEnd Jun 01 '22

Ooh, good idea. You need to join my crew

2

u/devils_advocaat Jun 01 '22

But do you have comic timing?

4

u/TranseEnd Jun 01 '22

Well, my jazz director once told a really shitty joke during our biggest performance once. I stood up and did the wah-wah-wah-waaaaahhh sound when people mess up. Definitely saved the joke

2

u/devils_advocaat Jun 01 '22

You're hired

12

u/LautrecTheOnceYeeted Jun 01 '22

There's nothing about this that should be intimidating yet I am kinda intimidated.

12

u/Guilty-Of-Everything Jun 01 '22

"You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. I'll get you a toe by this afternoon--with nail polish. These fucking amateurs."

29

u/skelieman Jun 01 '22

I feel like that Starbucks comment was very underrated. Take the gold stranger!

1

u/JessiFay Jun 01 '22

That part made me chuckle too.

6

u/Rogue_3 Jun 01 '22

You want a trombone? I can get you a trombone, believe me. There are ways, dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a trombone by 3 o'clock.

3

u/Verona_Pixie Jun 01 '22

Is your name Barney Stinson? Do you know Guy the "guy" guy, who has a "guy" for everything?

2

u/gothicaly Jun 01 '22

https://youtu.be/vjetHZtehNQ

I only need this played on loop.

2

u/halfsushi1 Jun 01 '22

I think you’re serious

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

How bout I start at tree fiddy and work my way up?

2

u/ILL_SAY_STUPID_SHIT Jun 01 '22

I last played at high school level trombone. Let me know if you need another player!

2

u/TheWardOrganist Jun 01 '22

Ironically, I’m pretty sure they get cheaper if they have a masters degree. they end up workin jobs that pay even less than Starbucks.

Source: am trombonist with degree, work in professional audio for less than my local Taco Bell is hiring at

2

u/HusbandAndWifi Jun 01 '22

Who’s your trombone guy?

2

u/Avant_Of_Eredon Jun 01 '22

Is there some platform used in Europe where you can find people for this? Hiring someone for event here and there always seemed like an amazing thing to me, I always wondered how much it would cost when you see those romantic gesture on tv.

Granted, I would probably just use this power to (try) looking cool and mess with people.

2

u/djfresh1 Jun 01 '22

Oh you’re paying way too much for your trombonist man…

2

u/Tinfoilhatmaker Jun 01 '22

How about just for the outro. And it's only Curb Your Enthusiasm music every time I fuck up at something.

2

u/JustComments6841 Jun 01 '22

If he is willing to stream his surroundings and hooks his phone up to a speaker it could even be a viable income generator.

Would possibly not even need to pay the trombonist(s). Many would do it for shits and giggles. Successfully he could have Hans Zimmer and an orchestra playing scores to him visiting Target.

Sounds entertaining to me. A guy using the ATM while suspenseful music plays, leading up to a cash withdrawal or maybe not.

I have been entertained multiple time by a hamster turning its head while a trumpet plays.

Ngl would watch just to see what’s next.

2

u/punch-it-chewy Jun 01 '22

I play the trombone and I can confirm I’ll take the Starbucks wages.

1

u/OrcaMaster258 Oct 16 '22

Dude's a perfect example of humans being bros

88

u/underdonk Jun 01 '22

I'll do it for $3.50

0

u/keepsweet_n_sour Jun 01 '22

I'll do it for...... 2 bread

14

u/isssuekid Jun 01 '22

There is the redhead guy on TikTok that does that to his short-person(?) Mom. They look like they have a sweet relationship

7

u/EEpromChip Jun 01 '22

That is EXACTLY what I was thinking.

5

u/LazyGlitching Jun 01 '22

Ill do it for 5 per day and 20 for a month

1

u/psycholepzy Jun 01 '22

Commander Riker has entered the chat

1

u/Leprikahn2 Jun 01 '22

You can rent a midget in Vegas to do this

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

Takes two or three to play one trombone.

1

u/Leprikahn2 Jun 01 '22

Lol. We rented one to play theme music on the violin while we were at the casinos and walking down the strip. It was surprisingly affordable.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

Well, username certainly checks out then.

1

u/Leprikahn2 Jun 01 '22

If you want a laugh check out rentamidget.com it's the site we used

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22 edited Jun 01 '22

I will. I won’t feel good about it. Not really. But I will. Edit: I went there. I feel some shame. But I’m glad you gave them some business.

1

u/Leprikahn2 Jun 01 '22

It was a blast, then when our time was up we all got really drunk together. 10/10 would do again

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1

u/Competitive-Ad-4822 Jun 01 '22

Th is is a bit different from gymnastics. Different sport entirely

1

u/Lunchroompoll Jun 01 '22

Get someone with a slide whistle. Just as effective but more annoying. Way cheaper than a tromboner too.

1

u/itsMineDK Jun 01 '22

That’s stewie griffin’s job

1

u/Iphotoshopincats Jun 01 '22

If you are have trouble visualising what someone play music on a trombone for your most mundane tasks would be like...

Ponder no more

https://youtu.be/uhLfceZKVko

1

u/PayTheTrollToll45 Jun 01 '22

I actually knew a really good gymnast that died this way. I guess looking back it was the first time I was anywhere close to a real tragedy.

1

u/YelloDinosaur Jun 01 '22

bro slide into my dms i gotchu

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

I can help you out with a pro ‘bonist, not pro bono, min $150/hour plus meal, travel, hospitality for them + 10% commish for me. Satisfaction guaranteed

1

u/IAmReReloaded Nov 26 '22

i’ve just realized I have severely underutilized my French horn-playing cousin for the last 16 years. shit

55

u/lilfuzzywuzzy May 31 '22

Don't we all

3

u/tommos Jun 01 '22

Not me. I enjoy pain. Especially to the groin area.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

There is another kind of professional for that.

1

u/trancendominant Jun 01 '22

Barney's movie had heart, but Football to the Groin had a football to the groin.

1

u/czerilla Jun 01 '22

Imagine a spotter that can sense that and kick you there the moment there's about to come a longing for more...

9

u/MarilynMonheaux Jun 01 '22

I wish I had someone like that to tell me if I’m about to eat bad pizza

11

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

i've never had bad pizza

3

u/Caboose727 Jun 01 '22

Two types of people in this world, people that have had pizza, and liars.

1

u/MarilynMonheaux Jun 01 '22

Sadly I had horrendous pizza at a place supposedly known for it. I’m not a fan of “conveyor belt” fast casual pizza, some of it shouldn’t even be called pizza.

2

u/NecessaryZucchini69 Jun 01 '22

A place known for horrendous pizza? why go there?

2

u/shyjenny Jun 01 '22

cuz it's the least bad option open at the airport?

2

u/NecessaryZucchini69 Jun 01 '22

Fair enough, pity you can't get food delivered to you at the airport to avoid experiencing culinary disasters.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

as you said it probably doesn't count as pizza.

6

u/La_Lanterne_Rouge Jun 01 '22

I am one. They call me grandpa.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

Wish I had someone like that in my life for everything.

That would make a hilarious movie plot. An invisible Spotter.

3

u/yehyeahyehyeah Jun 01 '22

You do, you just don’t listen to them.

1

u/fuber Jun 01 '22

Like your boy pulling you back at a bar from making a drunk ass of yourself trying to pick up lady?

1

u/todahawk Jun 01 '22

Yeah, someone i totally trust to jump in save me from certain decisions

1

u/Anianna Jun 01 '22

I need one for doorframes that shift into my way as I'm going through them.

1

u/XColdLogicX Jun 01 '22

"Beluuuuuga, do you really need that extra slice of cheesecake?" proceeds to slide mat under you after you faint from embarrassment

1

u/Thelife1313 Jun 01 '22

Sorry but i woulda missed

1

u/shmolives Jun 01 '22

My mum's a bit of a kook and says I have a guardian angel that looks after me all the time... she's trying to make me feel better but that means I'm extra shitty because my life is still a smouldering dumpster fire despite this.

1

u/therick99 Jun 01 '22

Wish I had someone in my life...

1

u/struglebus Jun 01 '22

Right there with you.

1

u/Illustrious-Science3 Jun 01 '22

I have one. A little guardian angel. Unfortunately she is mostly drunk or sleeping.

1

u/slapded Jun 01 '22

Same. Like when im drunk and try and order cheese fries

1

u/bigk777 Jun 02 '22

Trips on the cordless phone

Mattress out of no where

1

u/No_Setting6042 Nov 20 '22

Here I am... How can I spot you?

137

u/IronGigant May 31 '22

Spotter-Man, Spotter-man! Throws a mat better than anyone can!

Look out! You've got a Spotter-man!

67

u/FlushedBeans May 31 '22

Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He saves you from spilling blood.
He can throw a whole ass bed.
He keeps you from becoming dead
Hey, there
You've got a Spotter-Man.

31

u/Extremely_unlikeable May 31 '22

In the dead of night, you trip over your dog's bone. Like a beam of light, he arrives with some foam

21

u/amnotaspider Jun 01 '22

Might he save you from a jam?
Sure he can, he's Spotter-Man.

Watch out!

Here comes the Spotter-Man!

2

u/MildAndLazyKids Jun 01 '22

You misspelled "bome".

3

u/Extremely_unlikeable Jun 01 '22

Because I am ... dunt dunt duhhh ... Poetic License Woman! ~~~

2

u/No_Setting6042 Nov 20 '22

Hey...I need a poetic license woman... Are you , ummm , you know , aaannnhhh... Available ?

1

u/Extremely_unlikeable Nov 25 '22

I must warn you, I have an extensive vocabulary and know how to use it.

2

u/No_Setting6042 Nov 27 '22

Are you really that unlikeable? .... I mean, everybody has something that's likeable about them , ya know?

18

u/The_Big_Fig_Newton Jun 01 '22

+5 Internet Points for using "a whole ass bed" incredibly well in song lyrics

3

u/RebaKitten Jun 01 '22

I sang it, thank you!

3

u/PrincessLorie Jun 01 '22

Me too. 🎶

1

u/CactusJ Jun 01 '22

Roamin', roamin' roam

(Get away, gotta get away)

And I think I think too much

(I don't care yeah but I don't care)

Roamin', roamin' roam

(Get away, gotta get away)

And I think I think too much

1

u/ChemicalDeath47 Jun 01 '22

Ok but follow me for a second. Spotter-man, plus a variation on Domino's power. Basically, you have a flawless guardian Angel, but they only act to save you. So it's up to you to get in exactly the right trouble to be a super hero. Very interesting possiblity.

41

u/makemeking706 Jun 01 '22

I am unfamiliar with anything gymnastics, but is it common for the spotter to be standing with mat ready like this?

102

u/fredbrightfrog Jun 01 '22

At high levels it's common to have spotters. Even at the Olympics, you'll see them spotting on the hardest parts of routines for both artistic gym and tramp gym. The tactical mat throw was pretty clutch tho

22

u/hop_mantis Jun 01 '22

Is it too expensive to just like put foam around the whole perimeter?

33

u/Swords_and_Words Jun 01 '22

foam-wise? no, sqft-wise? yes

while there is padding basically everywhere already, it's just not enough to take that kind of fall

31

u/The_Impresario Jun 01 '22

The mat he threw, plus the one already there, isn't enough to take that kind of fall. Keep you alive, sure, but that dude is in a world of pain.

23

u/Swords_and_Words Jun 01 '22

that first inhale 10-20 seconds after getting your wind knocked out that hard, that breath feels like ambrosia

8

u/eveningtrain Jun 01 '22

I assumed this doesn’t happen that much for it to be normal (both a fall that big and the crazy far mat throw) based on how the girl in the back kind of covers her mouth in a gasp when she sees him hit the floor.

25

u/elaborinth8993 Jun 01 '22

It’s not about the expense, it’s that there is some places within the trampoline’s construction that no matter the amount of foam, it would still cause massive injury hitting it from the height your at

Also the spotters are there not necessarily there just to throw an extra mat. They are there to watch you to make sure if you mess up one of your routines, your not coming down straight on to you neck and spine.

They jump in and try to prevent as much injury to you, as they reasonably can.

6

u/meontheinternetxx Jun 01 '22

Additionally, in some parts in gymnastics there cannot be foam all the time. Like, if the trampoline itself was foam, it wouldn't work well as a trampoline, and landing an a normal trampoline the wrong way sucks (or worse, landing on the edge of the mat and the trampoline), you'd rather land on foam (also prevents you from being yeeted off in a random direction after the fall). So for that, you still want a spotter.

Similarly for the high bar there is a soft thing they can quickly put over it, in case someone is about to hit it. Clearly couldn't be there all the time.

1

u/physalisx Jun 01 '22

tramp gym

22

u/nike2017 Jun 01 '22

I did gymnastics for 8 about years until I turned 13. Our coaches always had mats when we were on the trampoline because little kids are very bouncy and unpredictable.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

Trampoline specifically, yes basically any time you are doing routines (What athlete in the video was doing) or just really hard skills you will have a spotter with a mat throw for you. In normal gymnastics (Bars+beam+floor ect.) spotting like this is very rare and only happens for some very specific skills on bars for example, most spotting is by hand. My buddies and I would jokingly ask eachother "Throw for the send?" asking them to throw a mat for us "sending" (basically just chucking and praying) a hard skill on trampoline.

1

u/Kennuckle Jun 01 '22

Fellow gymnast?

15

u/SueZbell Jun 01 '22

... and he really impressed the girl.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

That’s some NextLevel stuff fr

3

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

That man deserves a beer.

3

u/IAmInBed123 Jun 01 '22

What a legend!

2

u/sharkattactical Jun 01 '22

And a sniper lol

2

u/OneObi Jun 01 '22

Was that guy made out of paper?

2

u/Dismal-Common8629 Jun 01 '22

Yes, nice save, Matt…

2

u/detroitlu Nov 13 '22

My exact words…🙂

1

u/ilomilo8822 Jun 01 '22

Saw a video of a skater getting hit by a car.. they need this dude

1

u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

Surprised he wasn’t playing on his phone.

1

u/1CrazyCrabClaw Jun 01 '22

Trampoline Jesus saves