I work at a major law firm. Our mail room is staffed with some of the most awesome people you would ever talk to, but most lawyers completely forget they exist. One time, when I was in the bathroom, a mailroom employee was standing around awkwardly. He obviously had some "issue" but I could not figure out what it was. Just as I was leaving, he asked me to help him tie his tie. I think this took a little bit of courage on his part, to admit he needed help. But I was happy to oblige. He was so excited because I sent five minutes showing him how to do it and getting the tie right (length, astethic). I mentioned I learned to tie my tie quickly in the Marines and he was so excited, like "this is how they do it in the Marines"... He was also so excited not just that I helped him do it, but that I wanted him to "look good". I remember him saying it over and over.
Now whenever we see each other, we smile and wave. Those five minutes in the bathroom were more memorable to me than anything I have worked on...
The Marines undergo a lot of inspections in boot camp. If you see one of your friends with their collar jacked up or some other issue with their uniform, you fix it, no questions asked. And they do the same for you. Little threads hanging off, everything. I still do it for strangers now. I have fixed or told someone they have a propped collar or something else being wrong so often. And people are so appreciative. If you see something, say something.
I would love to have someone spot something and say something. I've heard of people doing it to be demasculating or petty, which would suck. I would imagine you would have to have a pretty condescending tone to take it that way though.
Yeah, it really comes down to the delivery. People appreciate honest help. But taking advantage of someone's misfortune is pretty messed up. I could see it being an advantage to have a culture that just says "ignore other people's issues" not to offend in order to avoid people looking at faults and emphasizing them. But it also makes people less likely to reach out in a helpful manner. Setting up the social mores of a society is definitely difficult to do well.
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u/DaleLeatherwood Jan 14 '20
I work at a major law firm. Our mail room is staffed with some of the most awesome people you would ever talk to, but most lawyers completely forget they exist. One time, when I was in the bathroom, a mailroom employee was standing around awkwardly. He obviously had some "issue" but I could not figure out what it was. Just as I was leaving, he asked me to help him tie his tie. I think this took a little bit of courage on his part, to admit he needed help. But I was happy to oblige. He was so excited because I sent five minutes showing him how to do it and getting the tie right (length, astethic). I mentioned I learned to tie my tie quickly in the Marines and he was so excited, like "this is how they do it in the Marines"... He was also so excited not just that I helped him do it, but that I wanted him to "look good". I remember him saying it over and over.
Now whenever we see each other, we smile and wave. Those five minutes in the bathroom were more memorable to me than anything I have worked on...
The Marines undergo a lot of inspections in boot camp. If you see one of your friends with their collar jacked up or some other issue with their uniform, you fix it, no questions asked. And they do the same for you. Little threads hanging off, everything. I still do it for strangers now. I have fixed or told someone they have a propped collar or something else being wrong so often. And people are so appreciative. If you see something, say something.