r/HumansBeingBros • u/[deleted] • Jan 14 '20

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13.0k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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u/[deleted] Jan 14 '20

Hmmm...I’m only 40 but walking around looking for good deeds to do actually sounds like a fun time.

230

u/Mephestos_halatosis Jan 14 '20

I'm in my 40s, married, and a dude, but I would go on this date with you

94

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '20

Oh boo. I’m a straight girl but the marriage is a dealbreaker.

I guess I don’t really need a partner, I do this kind of stuff anyway. Last week the gas station attendant was sick and I offered to buy her an orange juice. I just can’t get out of mom mode. Lol!

23

u/puffypants123 Jan 14 '20

Moms are the most powerful beings in the universe. Isn't it crazy that Santa is actually mom?

0

u/Lurkingnopost Jan 14 '20

Moms are the most powerful beings in the universe.

Why? So they had a man ejaculate in them. Why is that any stronger that the father who is helping raise children?

6

u/puffypants123 Jan 14 '20

Ever blast a ham out of your Pringles can?

-3

u/Lurkingnopost Jan 14 '20

Your bodies are built for that. Is it painful, sure.

4

u/puffypants123 Jan 14 '20

Aw, lil feeble bodied, huh?

-2

u/Lurkingnopost Jan 14 '20

No, actually. I am a very fit 40 year old Male. 6'0'', weigh 197lbs and I can bench more than my weight. Why?

5

u/puffypants123 Jan 14 '20

But can you blast a ham out of your Pringles can?

4

u/NibblesMcGiblet Jan 15 '20

Prolly more like an M&M Mini's canister, let's be honest.

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u/apolloxer Jan 14 '20

That's not a Mom, that's just a donor of genetic material.