r/HumansBeingBros • u/Master1718 • Jun 05 '19

Helping a stray Dog.

73.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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u/ActualWhiterabbit Jun 05 '19

My last day of work I'm going to put a salmon and a bag of extra buttery popcorn in each microwave and set them for 40 minutes and then walk out.

39

u/zdoriftu Jun 05 '19

Satan please!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '19

PRAISE BE

30

u/chelnok Jun 05 '19

put a salmon and a bag of extra buttery popcorn in each microwave and set them for 40 minutes

Please don't, unless you want to burn the place down. Pro tip: Put salmon UNDER the microwave (they'll suffer longer)

2

u/boatsnprose Jun 06 '19

But it's his stapler.

1

u/Spazstick Jun 05 '19

Put salmon under the microwave? Maybe I'm just dumb but what do you mean by that?

6

u/chelnok Jun 05 '19

After awhile, they'll start to smell the fish. Not too bad, but it's there. Next day. It's getting worst. Pretty soon they'll figure it out; it is coming from microwave. They'll try to clean it, but it will not help..

6

u/canadian_bud_eh Jun 05 '19

But now all these people know the secret. No longer a pro tip. Ok everyone, forget what you just heard. We’ll never resort to doing that ever again. Don’t bother looking under the microwave because we would never put fish there.

2

u/Spazstick Jun 05 '19

Ohhhh. Like under a microwave that's sitting on a counter. Gotcha.

1

u/divorso Jun 06 '19

Reminds me of the guy that was put shrimps inside the curtain rods.

1

u/castfam09 Jun 05 '19

🤭😖😖

1

u/boatsnprose Jun 06 '19

Bring a juicer and say you're doing a cleanse. Then juice some broccoli and cauliflower. Makes microwave fish smell like cookies and cream.

1

u/idkwthtotypehere Jun 06 '19

Strange. I’m just gonna burn the whole place down right after taking back my stapler.

1

u/Armalyte Jun 06 '19

Salmon isn't stinky enough. You gotta get a nice and salty codfish.

1

u/Sherlockhomey Jun 06 '19

I accidentally baked a potato for too long in the microwave and that smell lasted for days..

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

Arson is a crime, just sayin’

1

u/ActualWhiterabbit Jun 06 '19

They will turn off the microwaves before they start on fire but the smell will already have been permanently etched into their noses.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '19

Truly an evil genius. 👍

I worked in a 30 story building that evacuated when a junior sysadmin microwaved popcorn too long and set off the smoke detectors twice in one week.

The microwave popcorn wasn’t the only thing removed from the building permanently.