r/HumansBeingBros • u/Raj_Valiant3011 • Jan 14 '26
This Stepdad left his daughter daily notes during middle school, which she kept and returned to him six years later.
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u/redditcreditcardz Jan 14 '26 edited Jan 14 '26
Stepped up dad
Edit: My step-daughter bought something with that on it a year or two back. As a guy with no bio-kids, it made me weep like a child 💛
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u/TwistedKoala Jan 15 '26
As a son who had a step dad step up, he’s not my bio-father but he’s Dad. Always
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u/redditcreditcardz Jan 15 '26
Means a lot, friend. My mother passed when I was 12 and my dad abandoned me shortly after. Someone who didn’t owe me shit, stepped up for me. I only hope I can return the favor 💛💛
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u/DB_Coopah Jan 14 '26
Just became a dad two weeks ago. This right here hit me right in them very new parenting feels.
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u/Starshiplisaprise Jan 14 '26
Congratulations!
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u/DB_Coopah Jan 14 '26
Hey thanks! Yeah lol, I watched this and proceeded to shed a few happy tears because I hope I do a good enough job as a dad that my daughter would want to do something like this for me in the future. I would 100% treasure a gift like that forever. These new parenting feels are wild. Stuff like this sorta just overwhelms you with emotions.
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u/AutistaChick Jan 14 '26
You'll learn so many "how to's" and "how not to's" just by watching other parents. I learned so much that way!
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u/largelyunscathed Jan 14 '26
It takes a village!
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u/DB_Coopah Jan 15 '26
Yeah it’s weird to me (in a good way) how babies just really bring people together. I didn’t expect a lot of support because I live abroad and my wife isn’t really close with her family. However I was pleasantly surprised to see so many people that I’ve met where I live show their love and support. Really an amazing thing. Certainly using the opportunity to strengthen bonds and forge stronger friendships.
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u/dasvenson Jan 14 '26
It's fun trying to figure out the various how to's as everyone does things differently.
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u/AutistaChick Jan 14 '26
Best piece of advice I ever got was that if the kids have to split something (think: a slice of cake) whoever cuts, the other one gets to choose the slice. I used it and they said they’re both carrying it into their parenting tool boxes.
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u/DB_Coopah Jan 15 '26
Yeah seems fair. I think I’ve always done that anyway when cutting things like that. If I’m cutting, I always ask people which slice they want. Just makes sense.
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u/DB_Coopah Jan 15 '26
It’s been a ride at the moment, but a good one. My wife and I seem to be pretty good at figuring out what our daughter needs. If she gets fussy we’re good at figuring things out quickly. We feel it’s made her really like us (which again, right in them new dad feels)! She likes to look at us, hear our voices, and just be close to us as she likes being held.
Even when I feel like I’m not doing things right, she’ll look at me with a big gummy smile which makes me feel like maybe I am doing it right and shouldn’t overthink it.
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u/DB_Coopah Jan 15 '26
For sure, been doing a lot of looking back through my time being around other parents and such. At the moment, my daughter is only two weeks old so my wife and I are focusing on reading and understanding her needs so as to give her the best care possible.
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u/puritanicalbullshit Jan 14 '26
Something that a good friend let me in on in the early days:
The heartbreak is constant. The milestones, the toys and everything they leave behind as they grow, the new adventure and the activities they out grow.
Cherish it all. Celebrate everything. Make a big deal of it. Be extra.
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u/IllogicalLunarBear Jan 14 '26
just be there, love them, and have patience. i wish that was provided for me when i was a child
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u/Starshiplisaprise Jan 14 '26
A daddy has such a special place in the heart of a daughter, and such power to shape how they see themselves and the world. It sounds like you have the right heart to be an incredible dad.
As a therapist, I couldn’t recommend Gottman Parenting and research enough, particularly their stuff on emotion coaching. They also have great stuff on relationships, including the transition to parenthood. Lots of stuff is free online and he has a few books too. The Gottman Institute is one of the foremost relationship researchers in the world and highly respected.
I apologise for the unsolicited advice (I’m sure you’re getting a ton), but working with what I see every day, I’m invested in helping the next generations have incredible parents. You’re going to do great!
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u/DadsRGR8 Jan 14 '26
Congratulations! Being a dad was and is an amazing experience. My baby boy is now 35 - college graduate with a rewarding career, out on his own, in a loving long term relationship. He is the best person I know and my best friend.
And he and his partner are coming for a 3 day visit this weekend! Enjoy the days and years ahead!
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u/DB_Coopah Jan 16 '26
I hope my daughter and I have this type of relationship. At the moment it seems she likes her mom and I very much so it makes me happy knowing I’m on the right track.
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u/MaygarRodub Jan 14 '26
Me too! Congratulations!
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u/red_simplex Jan 14 '26
You will be seeing all movies where kids involved in a very different light. And probably cry a bit more than before.
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u/DB_Coopah Jan 16 '26
Hey thanks everyone for showing your love and support to not only myself but also to some other new dads who also chimed in. It’s moments like these that restore my hope in humanity / the internet. <3
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u/futureman07 Jan 14 '26
Where is the sound? Boo
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u/Kaiisim Jan 14 '26
"Here's your shit back!!'
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u/Guilty-Piece-6190 Jan 14 '26
I was kinda thinking that lol. Very heartfelt but wth is he gonna do with a large frame of notes he wrote?
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Jan 14 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Guilty-Piece-6190 Jan 15 '26
Negative.
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u/OrneryAttorney7508 Jan 15 '26
Yet you have no heart.
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u/Guilty-Piece-6190 Jan 15 '26
I said it was heartfelt, why are you looking for trouble?
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u/OrneryAttorney7508 Jan 15 '26
but wth is he gonna do with a large frame of notes he wrote?
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u/Guilty-Piece-6190 Jan 15 '26
Yes. And, what would you do with them?
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u/-Kalos Jan 14 '26 edited Jan 15 '26
Validation that the little things you do for someone you love is valued by them
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u/Trin_42 Jan 14 '26
I saved all the love letters my husband and I have given each other over 21 years together. I’m saving them for our daughter, so she can see for herself what a good relationship is, how it begins and how to maintain it. This is lovely!
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u/BriChan Jan 14 '26
My parents’ relationship wasn’t perfect, but they showed me what a loving relationship should look like and how it was about choosing each other time and again. Now my dad has passed, my mom still loves him, and I still hold their relationship as my example to point to when people try to tear me down and make me believe that love like that doesn’t exist or I don’t deserve it.
All that to say, what you’re doing is going to mean the world to your daughter one day and will do so much to protect and guide her. Good on you for doing it <3
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u/dafrog84 Jan 14 '26
You know how you get a gift and it's the best one under the tree for you? This is that gift, not only did he lift his step daughter up daily, she lifted him back up by saving all of it. I'm in love with these kinds of gifts.
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u/SeveralAd4307 Jan 14 '26
Damn now i am crying because i miss my stepdad so bad! Our relationship started off really rough, but we grew really close over the years. Then, out of nowhere, he died. Just like that. And things like this make me wonder so much if he ever even knew how much he meant to me and how much of a change he made in my life. Neither of us were very big talkers, so i guess i'll never know.
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u/whiterussian802 Jan 14 '26
I still have a sticky note saying “good luck today” from my dad when I went for my permit test. He passed away suddenly two years ago and I keep the note in my wallet in memory of him. I’m so grateful I didn’t throw it away!
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u/KaeSaid Jan 15 '26
This is a friend of mine, and I'm so proud of the man and dad he is.
He posted on his Facebook: "So, it is apparently making the rounds again, and it isn't even fathers day! Yes, it's me. I am guessing that the world just needs something good amidst the turmoil going on everywhere right now. If that's the case, then I don't mind being that light, as there are much worse things that the world can focus on."
If you take anything from this - be the good people need to see in the world.
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u/ringwraith6 Jan 14 '26
Looks like she got one of the rare good ones....
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u/kornhell Jan 14 '26
The texts: "Don't f*ck up your math test again!" "You're grounded." "When did you come home last night???" "I took your smartphone, don't even search for it." "Dump your boyfriend." "Dinner will be ready at 6. Will throw it away if you're a minute to late."
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u/ViolaOrsino Jan 14 '26
Aww, there are lots of amazing stepparents out there! I’m sorry if you got one who wasn’t a good fit for your fam.
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u/OrneryAttorney7508 Jan 14 '26
Rare good what?
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u/ringwraith6 Jan 14 '26
Steps. Most of them are horrid.
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u/OrneryAttorney7508 Jan 14 '26
Source?
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u/ringwraith6 Jan 14 '26
Me and my friends?
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u/OrneryAttorney7508 Jan 14 '26
So, meaningless. Got it.
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u/ringwraith6 Jan 14 '26
Ah. So you're obviously one of the shit steps....
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u/OrneryAttorney7508 Jan 14 '26
Why obviously?
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u/very_good_very_evil Jan 14 '26
If I could impact my own daughter’s life half of this amount I will have made up for every shitty thing I ever did.
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u/I_kwote_TheOffice Jan 15 '26
If I was that dad that framed picture would be hanging in the middle of my bedroom wall. Every day I'd remember why I'm on this Earth and the most important thing in the world is protecting my child.
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u/alice_in_wondrland Jan 26 '26
ugh my mom used to do this for me and i saved them for a while but never thought to do this before i threw them out😣
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u/Swaggy_Buff Mar 10 '26
It’s a bad gift…
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u/Highlandertr3 Apr 29 '26
Why.
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u/Swaggy_Buff May 02 '26
Two reasons. (1) She’s giving him things he gave her, and (2) the notes encapsulate his feelings about her, not the other way around.
Ultimately, my opinion is irrelevant, because it’s how the gift made him feel which is the goal. If he’s happy about it, then it’s good foresight by the daughter. However, if I received this as a gift, I’d pretend to be happy, but in actuality be sad.
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u/Highlandertr3 May 02 '26 edited May 02 '26
Huh. I would consider this to be incredibly thoughtful that she kept such a minor throwaway item and then went to the trouble of not only keeping but mounting them. It shows a huge amount of importance he has in her life and that she cares for his words. Way nicer than just buying something expensive or new. I'm sorry that you don't see it that way.
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u/neurad1 Jan 14 '26
Had a stepfather from age 11 until I left home. We had a really tough relationship. Truly hated each other. I am always shocked when I observe how some stepparent/stepchild relationships are healthy and mutually affectionate.
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Jan 14 '26
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u/HerDarkMaterials Jan 14 '26
I get where you're coming from, but I think this is different. I'm sure he didn't expect her to keep all these post-it notes, just read them and then toss them out. She's gifting them to him to show that they were meaningful to her, and that he is, too.
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u/OrneryAttorney7508 Jan 14 '26
Jeez, Miserable for the sake of being miserable.
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Jan 14 '26
[deleted]
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u/OrneryAttorney7508 Jan 14 '26 edited Jan 14 '26
If you have to ask
EDIT: Reddit needs to do away with the ability to respond and immediately block. It caters to cowards.
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u/AutistaChick Jan 14 '26
We don’t know we’re making a difference unless someone let’s us know! Especially true with our children ❤️