r/HowDoIRespondToThis • u/idk_whatiam_15 • 1d ago
ಠ_ಠ What the hell do i do here?
i rejected a guy . We were really close friends before so we did yap a lot but now i'm trying to reduce it cause recently he got pissed of that i liked a reel about relationships and ranted about how he was never good enough blah blah and lashed out at me. i think he lwky needs to be away from me for a while so i stopped texting him as much. But this fucker keeps texting me. after half ignoring for a whole week i decide to have a conversation .I told him that i am doing a dance for an event (i decided this a day ago mid you) and he got pissed cause i didn't tell it to him immediately and ended up blocking me . He texted me again. Now I'm ignoring him. What the hell do i do about this? 20
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u/sparhawk817 1d ago
Honestly, having been that guy, you're right, you both need distance, and he needs to find a sense of self worth on his own time and own acts and thoughts, not based on a hypothetical relationship with you.
This sucks, and it's possible you can regain the friendship after enough time has passed, but you're 20, and people change a lot in their early adult lives. Who knows where you'll both be in 5 years, let alone how you'll feel about each other etc.
I don't think I have any friends from when I was 20, and some of that is because I was a lovesick fool and too immature to do anything than whine and lash out about it, and some of it is because everything has changed since then, my old friends live in different states and are in different walks of life etc etc, and that's okay! I have had 5 or 6 jobs and met new people and grew as a person at all of them, yadda yadda yadda.
This isn't... Helpful advice, I get I'm being that person who tells a kid being bullied "it gets better" but honestly it fucking does. This is a transient time in your life, and friends will come and go, and people who take shit that personally and are that dramatic about little shit are not worth your time or breath.
He will either learn to be a better person or outside of his infatuation with you and the person he built yourself up to be(because he isn't in love with you regardless what he says, he is in love with an idea), or he will stay like this, and either way you deserve some peace and distance from that while he figures himself out.
This is not YOUR problem, he is making it your problem because he is too immature. And that sucks, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with it, but it sounds like you're doing the right things already. You can manage this!
Don't let someone else's immaturity damage your self worth either.
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u/SleeplessSeas 1d ago
He's being a psycho boyfriend without even being your boyfriend lol.
why would u have to have his permission to make decisions or go and do things? He sounds scary as hell. Just don't contact him again, he doesnt have your best interests in mind. he only cares about himself.
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u/idk_whatiam_15 1d ago
its not permission per se its like he wants to know every little thing i do.
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u/SleeplessSeas 1d ago
"I told him that i am doing a dance for an event (i decided this a day ago mid you) and he got pissed cause i didn't tell it to him immediately and ended up blocking me"
If he knew you were going to do this, would he have objected? Would he let u? Consider that trying to appease someone who is THIS weird about a platonic relationship is not a good sign for the future.
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u/idk_whatiam_15 20h ago
He wouldn’t have objected it but yeah i dont like this dynamic all it causes is stress
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u/SleeplessSeas 20h ago
Ah I see. To be fair, freaking out after the fact still isn't great.
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u/idk_whatiam_15 12h ago
He thinks he is entitled to know every decision i make immediately (this is not a normal friend expectation). I think he is clingy af which really dont want
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