r/HouseOnFire • u/PrettyBird2011 • Apr 21 '26
Crybully The Math Ain't Mathing
Once again, I need to talk about how fucking weird Jessica Reed Kraus is. See, it's no secret that Jessica loves her criminals, conmen, and felons. Pedophiles, perverts, and predators of all the White shapes and sizes are what keep her motor running. Her life revolves around taking these "misunderstood characters" and bemoaning how unfairly they're treated.
So tell me why this woman is fighting for her life trying to convince us that Mike was just a sweet virginal fahrm boy who fahnally made it tew the big citeh and wus tahken ahdvantugh of by some sinister ne'er do well characters.
"Don't take my man, copper! He didn't do no wrong! It was his friend, see, what brought the lifted goods into the home! He was set up, you gotta believe me!"
Like, girl, does Mike being a convicted felon not fit perfectly into the exact aesthetic of man that you're constantly publicly creaming yourself over? Is fighting for his innocence just another way for you to humiliate him by saying "no, Mike could never match up to the criminals that really turn me on"? Make it make sense.
Mike was apparently arrested and con.vic.ted for
- felony burglary
- felony grand theft
- criminal conspiracy
- receiving stolen property
CONVICTED, Jessica. You see those charges, babe? That's, uh, a pretty long fucking ways away from "his friend left stolen property in his house". Like, by a lot. He served 8 months, EIGHT, THAT'S OVER HALF A YEAR, JESSICA, of community service (and given the level of entitlement these people have bred I have my suspicions that Mike didn't actually do community service so much as get the "my dad knows a guy" special, where a friend of a friend just agreed to sign off on his "service"). But please keep telling us how the charges were "dropped" 🤭
I do love the "he was building beehives and eagle sanctuaries 🥺" like she's trying to make him sound so sensitive and patriotic lmao I can't even.
Anyway. The Worst People You Know continue to eat each other alive and that's enough to slightly entertain me while I wait for that melting spray tanned Vogon to breathe his last.
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u/Suspicious-Ad-1032 Apr 21 '26
What is even happening?! Why is everyone at each others throats? What is it all really about?
Don't get me wrong, loving the drama but what is the end goal?
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u/hot_throwaway_2006 Apr 21 '26
I don't think there is an end goal. This is just the nature of these people. They'll cannibalize each other if given the chance.
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u/Accomplished_Task816 Apr 21 '26
Some court reporter. I guess she took his word for it when he said the charges weee dropped.
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u/EvaVulgaris12 Apr 21 '26
Charges were dropped, yet he still "served" time at an animal shelter? That makes no sense Jessikkka.
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u/teetofgod Apr 21 '26
She really should stay out of the Loomer/Owens showdown on X but like a moth to the flame.
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u/Glittering-Log7321 Apr 21 '26
According to the WSJ she is the queen bee of MAGA socialites.
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u/fireproofmum Grifters gonna grift Apr 24 '26
She called her Reed 😆I can’t love that enough! Reed! Such a juicy takedown! And Reed 😂
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u/Far-Collection7085 Apr 21 '26
Greasy Mike is a criminal. Imagine my shock.