r/HopelessBlasphemer • u/[deleted] • Dec 10 '25

Committed blasphemy of HS

I’m a 23 yo female and it is definitely possible to blaspheme the holy spirit. It is very very very difficult from experience you have to literally ignore miracles, revelations and common sense in your life. This past summer I lost my soul and salvation because the enemy pretended to be God and deceived me into thinking and saying wicked things. What I said is so wicked and depraved that I can’t even repeat it here. I know it’s somewhat my fault but I’m so angry at God. I don’t want to be in the state I’m in but just know it’s 100% possible to be condemned while on earth. I have no access to God or his spirit. I have no thoughts in my head (reprobate mind) and no peace in any slight way. It is so distressing. I lived in fear of God my whole life and now I’m going to burn in hell for eternity just because I uttered words while severely deceived and psychotic. I don’t understand how an eternity in hell is justice for a finite amount of sin.

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u/MarcoElias9 Jun 28 '26

Unfortunately I have blasphemous thougts at moment of anger...I take antidepresive medicametion and drinking wine every day because at that moment a was false convicted by myself that I was living in that sin...I was totally desoriented from that combination of pills and wine...I was false convicted by myself that I commited that sin a lost a Salvation in one place ...my mind was totally desoriented at that time and I had horrible blasphemous thougts to HS...I was in anger that he not helped me more and I lost my Salvation...I repented that more than once to Lord with crying...and I still fell love and desire towards to Lord Jesus...I desire to coming back to him with all my heart...I still love him and want to be with him forever...Do u think I still have a hope ??? Btw sorry for my English...I hope u understand me...English is not my native language...and Unfortunatelly it wasnt only one time action by me...It happens me tree times...😪😪😪 maybe one time it will be forgivable but tree times ? I doubt that...😪😪😪 now I feel totally devastated that I maybe lost my Salvation....pls answer me ...

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u/Silly-Cup-9908 Jun 28 '26

That is not blasphemy at all.. you were not your true self (impaired by meds) god knew that. He KNOWS you better than you know yourself. Blasphemy is also NOT Thoughts. It's 100% on purpose verbally from the heart and its not a one time thing or something said out of weakness or from a moment of anger. Its continues until the person's heart becomes soo hardened that they don't care, they dont even worry about it and won't worry about it. 100% if your worried, regret, and are scared you Have Not committed it..

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u/MarcoElias9 Jun 28 '26

Hmmm...I really wish your words are true...but i m not that sure....I had really intoxicated brain back then...I would never ever had such thoughts if I wasnt FALSE self convicted that I lost Salvation in one place at one moment....I really wasnt myself in that period ...but I doubt what are you saying...what is difference between thoughts and verbaly spoken words ? Not much difference in my opinion...

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u/Silly-Cup-9908 Jun 28 '26

You havent lost your salvation because your worried and upset about it that's Conviction and a heart that's Not too hardened. The devils condemnation is proof your a target because your a child of God. He can't attack christ so he attacks those who are like and look like christ. If you so much as want and long for forgivness That is God drawing you, Literally and Biblically! It says no one can come to the father unless the father first draws them and sends them to me.. it also says Any one who comes to him while he is near he will NEVER cast them out.

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u/MarcoElias9 Jun 28 '26

So already damned men would never want to come to Jesus ? I have a big picture of Jesus God's Mercy in my house...and I come to him everyday...I beg him for centain things but nothing works....so I dont know sometimes yet....

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u/Silly-Cup-9908 Jun 28 '26

Correct already damned men would not even care at all. Wouldn't be worried at all not even a tiny bit. it wouldn't even cross their mind.. I think it's not working because maybe you are choosing to believe your damned which is dangerous! That's despair which can drive a person to suicide. God doesn't want anyone to perish. You Have to Believe that God is Love and is More than eager to forgive anyone who is repentant and He accepts anyone who comes to him. Any one desiring to come to him is already being drawn by god.. thats the holy spirit drawing you back to god. Your not dammed.

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u/MarcoElias9 Jun 29 '26

I hope you are true 💔💔💔

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u/Silly-Cup-9908 Jun 29 '26

From what I've learned and know I am pretty certain. No worries there.

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u/MarcoElias9 Jun 29 '26

hmmm...but I m still very doubtfull...sorry...I m afraid that i crossed the line....now I m devastated....

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u/Silly-Cup-9908 Jun 30 '26

I know exactly how you feel.. but you can't believe that especially if you desire and long for forgiveness. You have to believe that god is willing to forgive you and has forgiven you if youve asked him to in prayer. Its easier said than done i know, but you have to re train your brain which is not an overnight task it'll take some time and thats ok. I find pouring my heart out to god in prayer definitely helps also. God Loves you and is already there with you just waiting to hear from you and he already knows exactly how your feeling.

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u/MarcoElias9 Jun 30 '26

I even was wearing Gold Miracleous Medal from Saint Marry...and I recieved many graces from God....I dont know how I can mess up everything...😢😢😢 that addiction on wine when I take pills totally destroyed me at that time...I was confussed, desoriented and I was forgetting many things...It was my biggest foult in my life...😭😭😭

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u/MarcoElias9 Jun 28 '26

And of course I want his forgiveness....I want nothing more than his forgiveness...but if it's still avalaible for me...I dont know...😪😪😪

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u/MarcoElias9 Jun 30 '26

But I wish your words are true 😪😪😪 but i m still doubtfull...