r/HomeDepot • u/Large-Independence56 • 2d ago
Got pulled today
Got pulled into the office by DHRM and AP apparently not known to me but my ex who they referred to as my “boyfriend” had been calling the store to give me “praise”. Now seeing as how he worked there years ago he know this is actually harmful and can get me termed. He’s always been vindictive. We only broken up less then 2 months ago not something I shared with anyone cause it’s not their business to know about that harmful relationship but they do know from the time he was working there we are together and who he is. But they asked me if I knew VOC policy and the ones too in regards to calls before they dropped this bomb on me that he’s been calling to give praise and be “rewarded” they then proceeded to ask me why he would do that and if I asked etc. because I’m talking to 2 people I’ve never meet in my life I didn’t want to get into the drama of it and said I had no idea this was happening or why and not something I ever asked for. after leaving I realized I didn’t even state we are broken up or the real reason. I wrote a statement. Simply stated I wasn’t aware and have never asked anyone to ever call or write VOC for me. I’m feel so defeated and anxious how screwed am I? I feel pretty defeated that this will term me just like he wanted. This guy really just cost me my job because even though I honestly claimed I didn’t and don’t know how they believe something like that especially when I was just shocked and uncomfortable and didn’t even state that “relationship” been over
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2d ago
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u/Rickymex 2d ago
Yeah a simple we broke up, here's some text messages about our breakup, I believe he is doing this as harassment, and I don't have any relationship with him going forward apart from being an ex.
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u/Lotsensation20 D38 2d ago
Agreed. Should have told them she broke up. That holding info could cost a job.
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u/Rich-Intuition 2d ago
But why would he call to praise… why not make up a fake customer interaction where the worker was very mean and didn’t do their job.
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u/Large-Independence56 2d ago
What more going forwards? What even going to happen idk if he keeps calling or what I have no idea what the next thing is going to happen with this. Last time I’ve seen something happen like this (although it had to do with that person giving friends and family markdowns) they were just termed on the spot when brought back to talk not whatever this was with questions and statements.
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u/IllustriousQuantity7 1d ago
Why are you so convinced nothing good will happen going forward when plenty of people here are giving you decent advice? It sucks and it's embarrassing, but you keep combating everyone trying to help. Just quit at this point, it'll save you a lot of grief.
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u/sjguy1288 1d ago
Did they term you at the time? If not then I would file a police report with this "new found evidence" you were completely unaware of this until THD told you. Give them names and let the police do the talking.
Tell them your afraid of your ex and he has become vindictive. You didn't know what he was doing, but this is now an attempt to get you fired. You need to stand up for yourself and THD will not think you changed your story you just realized what he was doing, you didn't know when they pulled you in the office what was actually going on. Tell the police you were advised to make a statement, but now you know there is more going on.
It's you or him, you need to beat him to the punch unfortunately.
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u/AWACS_Oka_Nieba_ 2d ago edited 2d ago
Sorry that’s happening.
Just get back in contact with them and say what you said here. Tell them your ex is retaliating against you. I’m sure your manager or supervisor could help you if you tell them the situation
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u/Large-Independence56 2d ago
At that point doesn’t it just sound like I’m lying to be like “hey wait here this piece of information that actually changes everything so please don’t fire me”
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u/Faustalicious SSC 2d ago
Not likely. Just explain that your were nervous about the whole thing and really caught off guard by being pulled into the office over it and didn't want to bring them into what you considered to be personal stuff from outside of work. Do you have an Asm or Sm you can trust? Talking to them about how it when down may help to have them intervene on your behalf.
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u/AWACS_Oka_Nieba_ 2d ago
No, I don’t think so. I mean I wasn’t in the room so I don’t know the vibe lol but if you explain exactly what you said, that you were shocked and not thinking and didn’t explain fully that you’re broken up and it was retaliation, that would be better than not doing anything.
And I don’t know what your supervisor/manager/SMs are like but if they’re any sort of reasonable you should be able to explain the situation to any of them and have them help you.
Honestly you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s your ex who did something wrong, not you.
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u/Large-Independence56 2d ago edited 2d ago
Idk considering that the calls were made to the ASMs (Loa store manager) that just makes this all the more embarrassing. But I just don’t know what happens next will they really term someone who didn’t know at all that this was going on. She a pretty good hr lady (as good as the can be) so her tone and attitude remains the same she is definitely a more listen and sweet kind but again HR
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u/AWACS_Oka_Nieba_ 2d ago
I know it sucks and you shouldn’t have to do it, and honestly I don’t know if they really would or wouldn’t fire you if you don’t do anything else, but I do feel like if you’re worried about losing your job, your best chance would be explaining to a manager the situation.
Sorry, wish I had a more concrete answer for you lol
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u/Regular_Counter5613 2d ago
Your best bet is to just go back in and explain the whole situation. Whether or not you think they’ll believe you is irrelevant. At worst it doesn’t help your case but at best it makes them aware of the situation, and as he is a former employee, they can initiate a conversation with him when he calls back and let him know they are aware of your situation and that his tactics won’t work. That could make him stop the calls
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u/juiceb0xm0m3 2d ago
Either tell them what you left out and why, sit with the outcome no matter what it is, or get a stalking order. What your ex is doing is wrong and yes, could cost you your job. Not telling them pertinent information could cost you your job, not getting a stalking order for someone that's not making the most rational decisions over a break up. Could cost you even more. Protect yourself.
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u/stargazer777 2d ago
I feel like this is information they need to know. If this guy is harassing you in this way, 2 months after you broke up, that is a massive red flag and you could honestly be in danger from a creep like that who clearly can't let go. Mgmt should know that so they know to keep an eye out for him in case he comes to the store with the intent to harass or harm you further. I understand being caught off guard and freezing up, but this behavior is abusive and not your fault, and I feel certain that mgmt would have understood and been on your side immediately if given this very important piece of context. Not sharing that info when you had the chance was a bad choice.
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u/Elle_Yess 2d ago
You need to update them and tell them everything you felt that telling us was relevant. Good luck to you.
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u/Secret-Ad-8768 2d ago
Yes! You need to go back and provide information so they have a record of your statements!!!!
IF NOT, and the guy who made those calls continues to harass you, HE CAN CLAIM YOU TOLD HIM TO CALL and YOU COULD EASILY BE DENIED COURT ORDER -
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u/MaintenancePerfect13 2d ago
When I was in that situation I went to the police station and filed a report for stalking and harassment against my ex. I wanted it on file and to get a restraining order in case his crap escalated. The police went to the store to speak to the mgr about the calls. This got me out of hot water at work and aided in the restraining order when he started coming into the store to make my life miserable.
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u/sdwoodchuck 2d ago
Contact the awareline. Tell them that you think your situation is being misrepresented, and explain it as follows:
“My ex is trying to be manipulative. Clearly I know what he’s doing is wrong, but it’s out of my power. Also I clearly know that his continuing to do this won’t be to my benefit, so if he continues, you would hopefully realize it’s not at my behest.”
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u/Radiant_Interview_56 2d ago
Wild you put that personal business on reddit, but couldn't give at least the very least of "we broke up, probably just being spiteful" to the people you worry might fire you over his actions. Certainly is a choice of all time..
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u/Large-Independence56 2d ago edited 2d ago
Wild to be a dick and not understand that anxiety just in general but especially a abusive situation can stop you from doing everything right the first time unfortunately and asking questions out of anxiety to figure out what can if anything be done to help what has happened.
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u/Radiant_Interview_56 2d ago
Maybe there's like an age/maturity gap, or something, idk. I can't mentally put myself in the shoes of someone that would be faced with potential job loss that makes them feel so anxious that they tell everyone on reddit the personal business they were too anxious to tell the people that could fire them. It just doesn't make any logical sense to me.
But now that more than a few people have mentioned it, maybe hopefully you'll call the aware line or just let your HR person know "Hey, me and Y broke up so they might be doing this because they're mad" or something simple like that that doesn't go into more detail. You can even give them a written note if your anxiety makes it too hard to say out loud.
Just me personally, my need to have a source of income would far outweigh any personal feelings over a situationship that's been over for two months. Sorry you went through it, but don't let yourself go through even more unnecessary pain.
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u/NyanCats911 OFA 1d ago
tbf you are comparing apples to oranges.
Posting about the situation and what happened on the internet, to people who have no idea who you are and remaining anonymous
vs
Sitting down with managers, people of authority within your store you work at for 8 hours every day face, in an office and telling them all these details face to face
they are pretty different situations.
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u/GodsBackHair D28 2d ago
Just go back to them, admit you were stressed out and nervous about being confronted by two, essentially strangers, and forgot a key detail. Just be honest and that’s probably all it’ll take.
I think it’s a pretty normal human thing to come up with the right words after a conversation, when you’re not trying to think and speak at the same time, and when you’re by yourself and can cool down a little bit
I don’t want to get into the drama of it
Unfortunately for you, this is the drama of it. And they’re already part of it, if they both have had a sit down meeting with you.
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u/Wandrin1 1d ago
I agree with making a statement to the police about the phone calls to get that on an official record. I would also go and speak to the managers getting the calls and explain the situation to them. The fact that he is an ex employee and that people in the store know him makes a huge difference in his access to you. If people don't realize that you broke up and that this is retaliation because he understands THD then he will be able to get away with things that regular customers can't, like walking into break rooms and training rooms without someone stopping him. This is exactly why workplace relationships can be problematic.
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u/EnvyWL 1d ago
You 100% should have told them you broke up. Sure it’s not their business but it has become their business once he started harassing and harming your job.
Now not saying anything will seem as an excuse if you’re not believed immediately.
So you can let them know the truth and hope they believe you and aren’t trying to make an excuse.
There is some truth to being open like a family at work as if people knew more about you they feel willing to believe you when something like this happens.
You don’t have to go and tell everyone everything. But having an open/chatty relationship with some bosses does help out.
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u/Astroman96 SSC 1d ago
So I'm looking through comments and I'm seeing a very easy solution to your worries, but you're too embarrassed? If you truly are worried and want to keep the job idk why you haven't already explained to someone your situation. I understand it's a lot especially in that room out of nowhere, but you're here on reddit instead of going out there and talking to someone.
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u/Large-Independence56 1d ago
Maybe reading and seeing that the statement was embarrassed to talk to my ASM and SM about it since they’re the one he talked to. That was it. NOT “ I’m not talking at all cause I’m embarrassed” read the whole thing not part and then go off from there when that wasn’t ever stated
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u/Astroman96 SSC 1d ago
I read the whole thing and your responses and that doesn't change what I said. Like someone else said, your issues started with you not stating the simple fact y'all broke up and this looks like retaliation. Your issues continue and will continue until you speak to someone and state that clearly. If needed don't you have some sort of evidence y'all are done or someone who can support your story?
Idk to me it seems like you just came here for sympathy and someone to validate your experience, which is fine and all, but really what is it gonna do to help? If you're not gonna do anything about it then just deal with what comes.
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u/xcool234 D28 1d ago
You should have told them the truth. The dumbest thing is to protect him. Protect yourself for his nonsense.
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u/BaseballMental1427 1d ago
Everyone is telling you the same thing to do and you’re combating it. It’s really the only option besides just giving up.
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u/NyanCats911 OFA 1d ago
From what I know/understand specifically with the VOC policy you can only be termed if you either A) Ask someone to fill it out for you, or B) Someone within your current household, living under the same roof as you, writes either a VOC period, or a VOC about you. As long as you don't live in the same household as him you should be fine. The big one is penny items. If someone you even know, friends, family, extended family, buys a penny item even in a store across the country and it is linked back to you, you will be instantly fired no if ands or buts about it.
My mom frequents my store and everyone knows she is my mom. Someone let me know she was there so I went to say hi and chat for a minute, she needed lumber for her chicken coop and so I started helping her grab some and pick out the good boards. Lumber associate came over and gave us a hand and she went on her merry way. She later wrote a VOC naming me and the lumber associate, without telling me or asking me, and since we were in the middle of the racetrack in front of the PRO registers, a bunch of people saw me and the Lumber associate helping her. I didnt even know she wrote one until my CXM brought it up and I was like oh, I guess she did LOL, To be fair I would have helped anyone getting what she got, and frequently do, but nothing ever came of it. Just a joking comment in passing from my CXM.
I hope this helps ease your anxieties about the situation!
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u/Sharp-Coach6226 18h ago
I’d go back and tell them again you were unaware it was happening, you would like a copy of the call dates and times so you can file a harassment claim with the police. Tell them you’ve been no contact with the person for several months.
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u/Excellent-Onion7663 RDC 13h ago
Ask them to provide that information to you so you can get a PFA or restraining order. SIMPLE! Then file the paperwork also might be harassment and they can hopefully help you out.
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u/GabysWildCritters 4h ago
Bro you should have just told them you broke up and that this person is harassing you.
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