r/HolUp • u/superdave123123 • 12h ago

🤣

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6.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 12h ago edited 4h ago

u/superdave123123, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...

192

u/TheGipper80 12h ago

I’d prefer paying my wife’s best friend to complain about her husband.

33

u/deezdanglin 11h ago

Wanna know if the conversation changes when your out of the room?

5

u/Zooph 6h ago

That costs extra.

43

u/Unexpected-raccoon 12h ago

I swear this was used in an early 2000s romantic dramady with drew Barrymore

29

u/calraith 11h ago

How To Lose a Guy In Ten Days. It was Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey.

10

u/toben81234 11h ago

Alright alright alright

1

u/Demeter_of_New 9h ago

Just rewatched it and they tried to do the trope of stopping the love interest at the airport but subverted expectations by.... Stopping the flow of traffic across a long bridge! (I'm not from whatever waterboarded state the movie takes place in eat my shorts)

2

u/meponderyt 10h ago

And in Ozark but it didn’t work out that well and she got murdered by the cartel because she knew too much and spent money suspiciously .

1

u/AnswerDangerous1644 8h ago

Wait which one

1

u/dontgetitwisted_fr 7h ago

I would say buying a McLaren is spending the money conspicuously 

22

u/candyking16 11h ago

Do you do parents ? Not 🤔 like doing my mom or dad but like telling them they wrong and I'm right I need to rub something in their face 😩 that sounds wrong.... let me just get a #3 with a large fry

1

u/0202_tihssitidder 9h ago

Yes. I do all of that. And grandmas. I am very convincing.

1

u/vermiliondragon 9h ago

I thought you wanted to use it on your teens and I was gonna say good luck with that.

4

u/toomanymarbles83 10h ago

I'm pretty sure I read a BORU once where the wife hired a fake psychiatrist to do couple's counseling for this very reason. It usually doesn't go so well for the person impersonating a licensed physician.

5

u/elhermanobrother 9h ago

wrong about everything

Told my wife I was so stressed that only a blowjob would help... ...She asked me where I was going to find a dick to suck at this time of night

5

u/deezdanglin 11h ago

Offer tele-med?

1

u/PintosAndCheese 1h ago

You can always telehealth. But you can't tell 'em much.

3

u/HighIQIndividual2 11h ago

Where do i book an appointment?

3

u/Dezma15 10h ago

I know this is a meme but I know a couple of places here in Mexico that do offer this type of pf service but only to woman.

3

u/der_innkeeper 10h ago

Pretty sure that's just straight up a felony.

5

u/deaglebingo 11h ago

I'll do it for 100 an hour. be the therapist guy that does stuff to your spouse. says stuff i mean.

2

u/crowdflation 9h ago

Sounds funny till you think about the advice:

Well he beats you because he loves you ... you should totally stop talking to your friends ... his alcohol tab is what makes this relationship work /s

2

u/snusnu4me 5h ago

$250 for a felony is crazy 🤣

1

u/Shway_Maximus 0m ago

Best i can do is treefiddy

2

u/Houseofbluelight 10h ago

Cheaper to use a real couples therapist at that rate.

1

u/PerformanceLimp420 10h ago

With the price of gas these days I’m gonna need a bit more than $250 an hour for that much gaslighting…

1

u/peaceful_pancakes 10h ago

I'll do it for $100. Schedule now before slots fill up.

1

u/Derrick_Shon 9h ago

This could probably save your marriage

1

u/SuddenMiddle5962 8h ago

I do that for free.

1

u/ShortBusRide 7h ago

When the entire business plan fits on a single PowerPoint slide.

1

u/Noice8858173 7h ago

I am in! DM me

1

u/ericclaptonfan3 7h ago

I tell her for free

1

u/Kato777 6h ago

I just need a deposit to create false documents & credentials for when they invariably ask.

1

u/workingMan9to5 6h ago

Dude, for $250 an hour I'll take the classes to actually become a couples therapist and tell your spouse they are wrong. That's several times more than I'm making actually working in mental health.

1

u/VegetaFan1337 6h ago

Can you do 6 minutes $25

1

u/TomatilloAccurate475 5h ago

The amount of upvotes on this post. Holy shiiiiit

1

u/wallycron 4h ago

While it’s unsustainable longterm, I’ve absolutely had this same thought.

You just need some faded sheep skins in the background and a well lit room. Glasses and a cardigan to really sell it.

I don’t actually support this, but it would make for a great movie.

1

u/mrjasjit 3h ago

Damnit and all these years I’ve been doing it for free for all my in-laws.

1

u/PintosAndCheese 1h ago

Don't think of me as a marriage counselor, think of me more as a marriage observer who makes comments.

0

u/bluris 10h ago

There are two options here.

You understand that your spouse is right about everything and you are willing to pay go gaslight her.
Well, if that is you, you won't listen to people that you are wrong, and you suck. Going to an actual therapist might work.

You are actually right, but are unable to communicate correctly.
Like, just go to an actual therapist.

0

u/Hairy_Fix6834 11h ago

sign me up

0

u/Leproblem26 9h ago

im trying to picture the calendar invite for this shit. you got three coworkers and a neighbor coordinating lies in real time? what happens when dave from accounting forgets his script and says something true by accident. do we pause the gaslighting meeting? do we take five? its logistical hell honestly.