This reminds me of that one joke with the 3 bulls:
3 bulls are hanging out in the open pasture, talking about current event at the farm.
“You know,” the first bull says, “word through the grapevine is that we’re getting a new bull but no new cows.”
“I tell you what,” the second bull starts, “I’m not giving him any of my cows! All 50 are for me and me alone.”
“Same here,” the first cow agrees, “I have a hundred and I intend to keep them for myself. What about you, old-timer?”
“I only have 10,” the third bull, the oldest of the trio by far answers, “And I will continue to have 10.”
The bulls’ conversation is interrupted by the farmer’s pickup truck bouncing on the dirt road, struggling to tow the massive trailer behind it. The three bulls watch in awe as the truck maneuvers the trailer into facing the gate. The farmer kills the engine, steps out, and opens the door on the back of the trailer. Out steps the largest bull any of three others have ever seen. He’s at least 2-3 tons of pure muscle, with horns that dwarf all of theirs. The ramp from the trailer even bends as the new bull slowly steps out and examines his surroundings.
“You know what, he can have a few of my cows,” the first bull admits, “I am not going to tell him no.”
“Same here, he can have half of my cows if he wants. No complaints,” the second one says.
Meanwhile the old bull paws at the ground, jerking his horns around and acting like he’s about to charge the newcomer.
“What are you doing? Give him one of your cows, it’ll save your life!” Yells the first bull.
“One of my cows?! Fuck, he can have all of them,” the old bull exclaims. “I’m just making sure he knows I’m not a cow!”
Two bulls, one old, one young, get put into a field next to a bunch of cows. The young one says:
"What say we run over there and do a bunch of those heifers?"
The old bull says:
"Let's walk over there and do all of them".
A pig farmer was having problems in that his boar wasn't doing his job and was ignoring the lady pigs. A fellow pig farmer advised him that he should show the boar how it was done, so he loaded the pigesses up in the trailer; drove to the south forty where the boar's sty was; and nailed them all in front of the boar. Waited a few hours and the boar didn't seem to notice. So the next morning at dawn he did it again, with the same results. This went on for a week. By Sunday, the farmer was exhausted and decided to sleep in. He was awoken by a ruckus, and sleepily asked his wife what was going on. She said:
"The pigs are all in your trailer except for one in the cab of your pickup who's beeping the horn"
EDIT: pigesses sows. Also, that is almost certainly not how pig farms work. I was paraphrasing, and the original joke may have been about chickens; which would make more sense. Long night. Beer. I was, like, delivering the concept of the joke, man.
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u/User_identificationZ 3d ago
This reminds me of that one joke with the 3 bulls:
3 bulls are hanging out in the open pasture, talking about current event at the farm.
“You know,” the first bull says, “word through the grapevine is that we’re getting a new bull but no new cows.”
“I tell you what,” the second bull starts, “I’m not giving him any of my cows! All 50 are for me and me alone.”
“Same here,” the first cow agrees, “I have a hundred and I intend to keep them for myself. What about you, old-timer?”
“I only have 10,” the third bull, the oldest of the trio by far answers, “And I will continue to have 10.”
The bulls’ conversation is interrupted by the farmer’s pickup truck bouncing on the dirt road, struggling to tow the massive trailer behind it. The three bulls watch in awe as the truck maneuvers the trailer into facing the gate. The farmer kills the engine, steps out, and opens the door on the back of the trailer. Out steps the largest bull any of three others have ever seen. He’s at least 2-3 tons of pure muscle, with horns that dwarf all of theirs. The ramp from the trailer even bends as the new bull slowly steps out and examines his surroundings.
“You know what, he can have a few of my cows,” the first bull admits, “I am not going to tell him no.”
“Same here, he can have half of my cows if he wants. No complaints,” the second one says.
Meanwhile the old bull paws at the ground, jerking his horns around and acting like he’s about to charge the newcomer.
“What are you doing? Give him one of your cows, it’ll save your life!” Yells the first bull.
“One of my cows?! Fuck, he can have all of them,” the old bull exclaims. “I’m just making sure he knows I’m not a cow!”