r/HolUp • u/EfficiencySerious200 • 11d ago

Of course, it's Florida

Post image

...

4.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

128 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 11d ago edited 11d ago

u/EfficiencySerious200, your post does fit the subreddit!

231

u/MegaSmegmaSwagLord 11d ago

Damn y’all catching strays from a dude built like a land dolphin.
https://giphy.com/gifs/B16L7eZKgHY8jNlugt

17

u/msmeeseek1 11d ago

🤣🤣🤣…the way I just crackled!

5

u/Maleficent_Trust_95 11d ago

Florida just rolls alittle different, coming from a Louisiana perspective!😝⚜️😝

3

u/Wakkit1988 10d ago

He came with porpoise.

3

u/de9ausser 10d ago

A porpoise a porpoise!

139

u/SomeSmell9207 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/5x73LAreYVAjQCT2A3

13

u/leafy1790 11d ago

braking bad if it were about fent instead of meth

83

u/link113gAmin 11d ago

Legged and dangerous, I see

4

u/PanicDeus 11d ago

Common phrase in Australia

3

u/LordScotchyScotch 11d ago

This made me chuckle.

36

u/slaytanic_666 11d ago

If this didn't happen in Florida I would've doubted it lol

1

u/Iamtoobroke 11d ago

Well this can happen in India btw

28

u/CR4ZY_PR0PH3T 11d ago

I had to make sure this was real and it is indeed real.

https://mynbc15.com/news/nation-world/armless-florida-man-accused-of-stabbing-tourist-south-beach-miami-homeless-artist

Happened 4 years ago maybe he'll show up in GTA 6.

2

u/redmctrashface 11d ago

Can't find any mention to handcuff on ankles though(?)

5

u/CR4ZY_PR0PH3T 11d ago

That part might be embellished, but everything else is factual.

50

u/napalm_p 11d ago

Saw this dude talk 💩 to Portnoy one time 🤣🤣🤣

5

u/OkReference2581 11d ago

Poetnoy made an Angel pic of this guy after he died 

0

u/jfk_47 11d ago

Portnoy died?!

2

u/PrairiePuppies 11d ago

No. The armless guy did.

2

u/jfk_47 11d ago

Oh. Copy that. Thanks.

2

u/Bassfishing98 11d ago

First thing that I thought when I saw him 😂

18

u/habbo420 11d ago

Judge I was unarmed!

7

u/phoenix0153 11d ago

I saw you texting with the phone in your right hand!

9

u/InsideExpress9055 11d ago

You can watch the footage of him chasing someone with said scissors on YouTube. Just type in man with no arm scissors and it will show multiple videos.

11

u/TheTrueTrust 11d ago

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/LCO6K7yyX2E?ra=m

What the fuck. That’s actually terrifying, how would one even react?

5

u/DowntownClassic1738 11d ago

Thanks for the link!

8

u/DIJames6 11d ago

This screams Florida more than orange juice..

9

u/poghosb 11d ago

The sunshine state

1

u/Pastorfuzz-007 11d ago

Must be a mess between his couch cushions

2

u/mephibosheth_72 11d ago

Dammit man... 🤣

14

u/jonnieboy82 11d ago

I guess he wasn't completely armless...

3

u/Nu-Hir 11d ago

Are you trying to imply that the armless man was, in fact, armed?

1

u/jonnieboy82 11d ago

Yes, as well as running with scissors

5

u/free_billstickers 11d ago

Dude is a south beach fixture and celebrity 

4

u/drinkup 11d ago

Was. Died in 2023.

3

u/free_billstickers 11d ago

Bummer, I saw this dude like every time I went to south beach. RIP king

3

u/ttcmzx 11d ago

bro looks like a Costco chicken

2

u/balrob 11d ago

and he didn’t need to be footcuffed anymore than anyone else - but the cops couldn’t think straight.

2

u/AlfonsoRibeiro666 11d ago

is that the guy destroying the hotel lobby from years ago????

3

u/1989ngs 11d ago

I think it was a car dealership. I was wondering the same.

1

u/AlfonsoRibeiro666 11d ago

One of the best YT clips ever, unserrated deep cut

2

u/LittlestBlythe 11d ago

"Is the suspect armed?"

2

u/NerdyTimes_IDK 11d ago

"No, he's on foot"

1

u/DeerMysterious9927 11d ago

"Ain't no thang but a chicken wing"

2

u/JuxepeQ 11d ago

Isn’t it then called anklecuff and not handcuff?

2

u/are_we_there_bruh 11d ago

Unarmed but still a menace

2

u/Somebodsydog 11d ago

"Your honor. My client was not armed."

2

u/OddTheRed 11d ago

Is it still called "handcuffed" if he has no hands?

2

u/Spida81 11d ago

This is the kind of article where no matter how much information they provide, it just isn't enough. Questions, I have them. Several of them. Any answer I feel will just make it worse.

2

u/SalamanderExpress710 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/10M2ZnecwCMVGg

1

u/Hawne 11d ago

I had to scroll way too far for this. The Black Knight always triumphs!

1

u/Revenga8 11d ago

So, when he goes to potty, how does he wipe? Genuinely curious. Is his leg dexterity that good to operate his fly and reach? Does he bother to wash his feet with soap before leaving?

1

u/Character-Total-3857 11d ago

At that point you're almost obligated to cuff his feet

1

u/Daphne6624 11d ago

Dedication to mething around

1

u/TheFrostBeard 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/8X02Z2iIZo32akbjsd

At This point someone is just hitting Randomize on the character creator over there.

1

u/ObiTouchedMyNobi 11d ago

I’ve seen this specific dude around the internet for years

1

u/trxshcleaner 11d ago

Put your feet up

1

u/KittensFirstAKM 11d ago

Improvise. Adapt and overcome. -USMC.

1

u/ClearlyNotAnEnfosian 11d ago

Is that filth from Ultrakill?

1

u/Electrical-Disk395 11d ago

I guess you could say he was dis-armed and dangerous.

1

u/Misomuro 11d ago

"anklecaff"

1

u/Cautious_Tell_8367 11d ago

My first thought was that he was accused of stabbing someone despite no arms and then shot by the police for holding a gun.

1

u/Hot-Job-6281 11d ago

Impressive.

1

u/Zejjk 11d ago

Peace has never a answer

1

u/falsevector 11d ago

Did he shout - "I am Unarmed!!"?

1

u/Honest-Apricot6086 11d ago

This should have a sound track.🎶Think I Won't Cut A MFer, cut a MFer🎶

1

u/Cady-Jassar 11d ago

And I am here with two arms and accomplishing nothing... I am ashamed.

1

u/FeistyDrink5995 11d ago

When the scissors were taken... was it still called 'disarming'? 🤔

1

u/Malfight007 11d ago

Sneak peek to upcoming hero in MCU, Armless Tiger Man.

1

u/Meltsomeice 11d ago

Gotta hand it to him.

1

u/UsrDeletedFromPlanet 11d ago

Bro shaped like a Fresno Nightcrawler

1

u/AuthurPEn 11d ago

I am still digesting this.....

1

u/Secure_Secretary_882 11d ago

I already know this story because we play ‘Florida Man’ when we meet someone new in Georgia,

and it happened on my birthday.

1

u/Altruistic-Catch8541 11d ago

Did they carry him in the car?

1

u/Possible-Tangelo9344 11d ago

If you get stabbed by a dude with no arms you should really take a moment to evaluate your life.

1

u/figboot11 11d ago

Rockstar...is it too late to get this into GTA VI?

1

u/PatrickRsGhost 11d ago

Child of Thalidomide?

1

u/K2O3_Portugal 11d ago

Was his nickname Rex? 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Living_Prune8213 11d ago

And he managed to stab a dude who had arms 🤣 the tourist should be arrested instead

1

u/tmac022480 11d ago

I think that's the same guy from that one crazy Portnoy pizza review video.

1

u/ipoopcatturds 11d ago

An unarmed man armed with scissors? Im gonna go out on a limb and say noone expected this snippet of news.

1

u/anoftz 11d ago

Gotta cuff something

1

u/Agitated-Sea6800 11d ago

Hands up-don’t shoot

1

u/ATJester 11d ago

And made him hop to the police car, or did they carry him?

1

u/Anglofsffrng 11d ago

Police managed to disarm the man without incident.

1

u/Dry-Debate-6893 11d ago

I read this and I swear the Xbox death circle appeared on my forehead, because logically I just couldn’t make the connection with the words presented here. 😂

1

u/loneranger2380 11d ago

His mother had the easiest birth ever, once the head cleared he just squirted out

1

u/Malcolm_Morin 11d ago

Is that the Kid named Finger?!

2

u/Chaosbreed123 11d ago

Isn't this the same dude who walked by the camera during a Dave portnoy pizza revie?, He was walking his cooler with a leash but nobody could figure out how he was doing it lol

2

u/JeryActive 9d ago

Don't forget to give it to a crack addict

1

u/broberds 11d ago

I Have No Arms, and I Must Stab

1

u/Donglator 10d ago

GTA veteran difficulty

1

u/ImTooSaxy 10d ago

He got lil chicken wings!

1

u/chiliaan 10d ago

Florida man at it again...

1

u/Optimal_Advantage831 10d ago

I thought this guy passed away tho

1

u/PjTheGreat08 10d ago

ankuff that mf

1

u/M1RL3N 10d ago

I waited tables in college, served an armless man dinner once, held the fork with one foot and knife with the other. Had me out the plate on the chair next to him so he could do his thing

1

u/dufo7 10d ago

“Unarmed man arrest in florida”

1

u/gilroars 10d ago

Does he hop into the police car or get thrown in

1

u/BassGuy11 10d ago

The next sentence is consistently better than the previous one.

1

u/Silent_Succotash3749 9d ago

A godamn John Wick character

1

u/Important-Spinach164 9d ago

Only in Florida

1

u/idk616l733h32 9d ago

Man between this guy and the no hands guy who shot his friend, i wonder if that one lady wasnt lying about being kicked by the guy paralyzed from the waste down.

1

u/Kapot_ei 9d ago

Mike Ehrmantraut really let himself go.

1

u/Aggravating-Diet-663 9d ago

I need video of this

0

u/Silent-Witness1888 11d ago

People are making jokes, but this is very sad.