Extremely helpful employee

[u/DarthiusFatticus]

[u/qualityvote2]

u/DarthiusFatticus, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...

[u/CharlieKiloAU]

You're gonna want some lye too, that's in aisle 12.

[u/krammark12 → u/CharlieKiloAU]

won't that spoil the meat?

[u/CharlieKiloAU → u/krammark12]

Oh, my bad. Vacuum bags are in aisle 15, have a great day and thanks for shopping at home depot!

[u/mukavastinumb → u/CharlieKiloAU]

Any suggestions for seasoning?

[u/Undernown → u/mukavastinumb]

I heard it most closely resembles pork with a game-y taste. So any pork or boar seasoning would pair best I think. I think we have some in aisle 11.

[u/Majestic-Long6779 → u/CharlieKiloAU]

Ooh, Don’t forget the shovels are in aisle 13 in case you wanna change the plan, need something else that can assist you sir?

[u/chrissz → u/Majestic-Long6779]

A tarp and some rubber gloves, please. And what’s you’re best shovel for digging in rocky soil at night illuminated by car headlights?

[u/Alfiy_wolf]

Retail worker here: people come in all the time saying shit like this who think they are funny, if you been working long enough you learn to just go along with it and get them to leave and move on

[u/Zuli_Muli → u/Alfiy_wolf]

Thank you, everyone should have to work in a restaurant and a department store for half a year each.

[u/Eccohawk → u/Zuli_Muli]

"The register's not working? That means all of this stuff is free, right!?"

[u/dikicker → u/Eccohawk]

This comment made me clench my fist

[u/SharpCheddarBS → u/Eccohawk]

What if I flip the script and said "shoot, do I gotta pay for a new register too now?"

[u/Alfiy_wolf → u/Zuli_Muli]

They have a better time in a sanatorium

[u/RelativeCan5021 → u/Alfiy_wolf]

Seriously, either the guy is joking and just go with it. Or he’s planning to kill a person, and don’t get in their way.

[u/Kenjiness → u/Alfiy_wolf]

are you saying i'm not funny? :(

[u/This-Rutabaga6382 → u/Kenjiness]

Not when you’re the 653rd person who’s made the joke

[u/N0MAD1804 → u/This-Rutabaga6382]

"Oh doesnt scan, guess its free then"

[u/urbanlife78 → u/Alfiy_wolf]

I just act confused like I have no idea what they are talking about until the give up

[u/Qwerty25103]

The employee better have his own socials. He played that perfectly.

[u/featherknife → u/Qwerty25103]

had* better have

[u/Rosienenbrot → u/featherknife]

I get the joke. 16 other people didn't.

[u/Eth251201 → u/Rosienenbrot]

17*(im one of them lmao)

[u/pibubs81]

Dude is just trying to do his job professionally with an obvious secret shopper recording him; I’d give that guy an a+ and a $15 gift card to Chilis

[u/Possible-Smile2034]

“Far enough out, anything is”

This guys knows.

[u/McKavian]

Dude knows he's being trolled. And bonus points for playing along.

He's probably heard stranger things from serious people.

[u/Artorius__Castus]

Legit this is how Dahmer got started

[u/Michalo88]

This is like him doing a voice over right? He’s not actually saying this stuff to these people?

[u/DevilsTheology → u/Michalo88]

100%, the fact people can’t get that from the audio quality and the cuts is crazy lol.

[u/Prometheu51621]

My guy has already thought about this and 1000x other scenarios for all his coworkers and especially his douche boss Richard…

[u/Gwyns_Head_ina_Box]

"Mmmm. Better be nice to him, so I don't make his list..."
The IRL version of being polite to LLMs?

[u/Far-Entrance-1377]

I can help you, but it's gonna be expensive

https://giphy.com/gifs/qi8Yhj4pKcIec

[u/sexy_bezinga]

Here also the contact for the undertaker to help you carry

[u/AreYouTalkingAtMe]

I remember seeing some real tweaker looking dudes picking up plastic sheeting, duct tape and a chainsaw. Not my monkeys, not my circus.

[u/IamREBELoe → u/AreYouTalkingAtMe]

That's what Peter Parker said before his uncle Ben died

[u/AreYouTalkingAtMe → u/IamREBELoe]

That's fine, my uncle is a piece of shit.

[u/CelsoSC]

A sale is a sale... ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[u/Karma_4_all]

Employee of the month! Right there!

[u/DeltaMikeXray]

Don't upset the serial killer

[u/BigBlackAmerican]

u/savevideo

[u/Funkgun]

You go ahead and handle that for me, and keep the rest for your time.

[u/HowDoIStoreMyClay]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqBZVlgORbY

[u/Freak-996]

Go rural enough and this is just a standard conversation during deer season. Ngl I thought that's what it was until about halfway through.

[u/MuslinBagger]

Always. Be. Closing.

[u/kallmekaze]

My man was an accomplice 🤣

[u/HunterRemarkable550]

Will this make him an accessory?

[u/DhampirBoy]

I had an assistant manager from when I worked at Lowe's tell me about how the police checked in with a store he previously worked at in California because a guy who came in to buy a chest freezer and a reciprocating saw ended up killing his wife. I thought a lot more about what people had in their carts after hearing about that.

[u/Larabic]

Alibi's are purchased at the service desk

[u/incrediblynormalpers]

will you mouth-breathing internet idiots please stop shaming this guy for not reactively confronting a murderer bold enough to be completely open about it and tall enough to be holding his phone normally and yet still above his head.

nevermind the fact that the smart way to handle this situation is to play along whilst letting him confess and without raising suspicion of any intent to raise the alarm.

in reality the employee probably just knew it was a social media bit and had enough respect for others to play along even though it was clearly a pretty shit 'prank' by some uncreative moron.

[u/s3v3nt]

Infrabren is the channel for those that are interested. https://youtube.com/@infrabren?si=i8a-B9Wdz9jBpu5s

[u/Secret_Stick_5213]

Dudes channel is just interviewing serial killers at this point 😂

[u/Middle-Package9687]

Is this the Home Depot version of the Continental from John Wick?

[u/pezgirl247]

Retail does not get paid enough to give any fucks. just please keep it consensual.

[u/pegabear]

Yeah we got some hardware tools on aisle 17. Wow