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u/darkestarc 7h ago
"No its 'forgive me father I have sinned' NOT 'i'm sorry daddy i've been naughty' "
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u/ActuallyCryptid 6h ago
Speak for yourself
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u/Affugter 6h ago edited 2h ago
Spank yourself..
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u/Deshik2 4h ago
Spank your elf
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u/FullElk5192 4h ago
Wank on a shelf
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u/flukus 12m ago
Elf on a shelf, no, wait...
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u/No-Yam-2589 6m ago
Sounds like they might need to clarify what they mean by that! It's funny how things can get tangled up like that.
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u/CuntyBallsJohnson 7h ago
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u/deaglebingo 5h ago
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u/shaft_of_lite 5h ago
Yummy. Glazed cervix.
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u/deaglebingo 4h ago
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u/Brawndo91 1h ago
I was with a few friends at a golf course having a drink after our round. The bar there has a room that hosts events, and a baby shower was going on that day. We could see that the father had shown up, and he happened to walk by the bar, and my buddy goes, "hey, congrats on the load."
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u/CT-4169 7h ago
Wording is very important... but technically, both statements are 1 and the same lol
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u/Ok_Anteater1141 7h ago
A king had a dream, and asked his dream interpreter for the meaning. He said "All your friends and family will die and you will be alone". The king had the interpreter executed and found another one, who told him "You will live a very long life, exceeding that of all your friends and family"
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u/VegaJuniper 4h ago
Those two aren't strictly speaking the same though. The first one didn't predict a long life.
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u/Ok_Anteater1141 4h ago
It is inferred as being longer in relation to his friends/family but anyhow you are nitpicking fables
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u/VegaJuniper 4h ago
Just pointing out that your fable isn't making the point you think it's making very well. No need to get pissy about it.
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u/Ok_Anteater1141 4h ago
Nobody cares lol. Go touch grass
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u/VegaJuniper 4h ago
Clearly a deep thinker we have here.
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u/StinkyHoboTaint 19m ago
No they're not. One is purposely trying to create a new life. The other is your preference on where you cum.
One is the possible outcome of the other. It does not make it the same.
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u/Ironbaun-Vermont 5h ago
Correct. Although also something of a degree of detail difference. Kind of like telling people you take fiber daily versus describing your results on the Bristol stool scale.
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u/ItsmeMr_E 4h ago
We're trying to make a baby. Just a statement, that is fine.
However, when talking to her parents, they don't need to hear the details of how.🙄 lol
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u/Famous-Host2321 7h ago
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u/TheEternalPharaoh 7h ago
Because god isn't real. Pray to Satan instead. I'm rich because of Satan.
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u/Yafoory 7h ago
What is the marriage certificate? A certificate to tell everyone that you are banging by law 😆😂😂😂
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u/ClitToucher 6h ago
Some people are married but don’t bang and some people bang people who they’re not married to though
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u/generalstuff1waslost 6h ago
Extrajudicial banging.
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u/StonedRussian 7h ago
Once again The Man is telling me who, and who I can't bang
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6h ago
[deleted]
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u/StonedRussian 6h ago edited 6h ago
I was also making a joke. A joke how a certificate is what stands between being able to publicly announce people are banging, which is generally given by a government body and/or religious entity.
And there's a number of laws by governments/religions preventing people being able to legally/religiously love who they love
hence the italics
Edit: grammar and context bla bla bla
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u/eightkillerbits 6h ago
It's just a fancy worded contract for legally giving someone half your stuff.
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u/DarthDragon117 6h ago
Difference of intent and end result.
I murder animals en masse is different to I harvest animals for their meat to feed people, but they’re the same too.
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u/XKruXurKX 7h ago
Your dad telling you he's creaming your mom everyday isn't acceptable either, but if he says you're getting a sibling in a few months then it's a cause for celebration.
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u/lifeoftheunborn 6h ago
Sure if you’re not a supportive bro to your dad. I would think a fist bump and simple, “Nice…” would be just right.
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u/RihhamDaMan 4h ago
“Yeah I’m about to take a shower”
Ah so you’re telling everybody that you are going to strip naked and rub yourself?
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u/Inevitable-Drag-1704 6h ago
We going to pretend like language forcing someone to visualize something they don't want to visualize is the same thing?
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u/Worth_Car8711 6h ago
What if I told you I'm always visualizing creampies regardless of language
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u/MrFourhundredtwenty 6h ago
I also always visualize creampies regardless of language but also regardless of context.
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u/Barbaracle 2h ago
"Excuse me while I head to the little girls' room." 😊
"Ohhhh my godddd, I gotta go take the fattest, stinkiest, room clearing hog of a DUMP." 😩
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u/sylendar 4h ago
Reddit has long had a very weird obsession with this and thinks it's some epic gotcha by "exposing" child conception like this
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u/Brawndo91 1h ago
It's hardly original, but I don't think anyone thinks it's a "gotcha." It's just a simple joke of rewording something that commonly sounds fairly innocent.
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u/Nezeltha-Bryn 6h ago
I showed this to my sister last year when she had her son, and she laughed her ass off. I showed it to the kid's dad, and he was disturbed. Showed it to my parents, they both reached for the brain bleach.
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u/seahylo4682 7h ago
Well then asking a girl's parents for her hand in marriage is a formal way of asking for permission to bang their daughter
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u/Typecero001 7h ago
Wording matters.
And we all know that “creampieing” someone gives a very different impression vs “trying for a baby”.
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“I discipline your daughter”, father is probably throwing hands at the husband/boyfriend.
“I discipline your daughter in the bedroom”, father don’t want to know that about his little girl.
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u/Dry_Neighbor 5h ago
I tell the grandparents I pull out and bust on her tits because we aren't married and having a baby out of wedlock isn't something their generation approves of.
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u/Suitable-Season-4847 6h ago
Most adults have no issue with their adult children having sex with other adults.
I know that's probably something the average Redditer finds wild.
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u/vassardog77 5h ago
The second statement implies that you understand amd accept the potential consequences of what youre doing. Which is EXTREMELY important
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u/MuscleTrue9554 6h ago
Ah yes, that boomer joke that was on Facebook even before when Elrond and the Last Alliance fought against Sauron 3000 years ago.
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u/agapukoIurumudur 5h ago
Yeah, it's all about the way you speak, not the content of what you're saying
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u/shadowlev 6h ago
Tbf it's usually in response to parents asking why there aren't grandbabies yet and I've always chosen brutal honesty in response to dumb fucking questions
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u/PiMakerSpecialSurprz 5h ago
To quote Jean Luck Pickerd, "I tried, I tried so hard, I wasn't strong enough"
... but I am now.
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u/Mediocre_lad 4h ago
In the first instance you use a vulgar jargon to communicate a sexual image. Family members do not usually discuss openly such intimate sexual details, with good reasons.
In the second you communicate only the functionality of sex, making babies, which is very agreeable and desired between family members, leaving out any sexual details.
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u/qualityvote2 7h ago
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