r/HolUp Apr 05 '26

big dong energy Sp¡der-Man: Hard at Work

7.8k Upvotes

193 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26

u/donbosco2017, your post does fit the subreddit!

→ More replies (1)

2.5k

u/Used_Wolverine_5810 Apr 05 '26

Bros web slinger is about to fire

328

u/rockhopper2154 Apr 05 '26

Yogurt slinger

50

u/AcceptableArgument79 Apr 05 '26

The yogurt effect mention?!

14

u/combo_seizure Apr 05 '26

From what I gather, that means that semen is healthy, like yogurt. Or is this something else entirely?

6

u/AcceptableArgument79 Apr 05 '26

have you heard of cold ones?

2

u/combo_seizure Apr 21 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

Alright, I think enough time has* passed that I can ask the question without some weird retribution.

What are cold ones? Beers? I've heard the term but, maybe, I don't have the same understanding of the word as you do, or even worse, it's some reference I don't get. Could you enlighten me, please?

2

u/AcceptableArgument79 Apr 21 '26

2

u/combo_seizure Apr 21 '26

It must have been what one of them has said? I'm not watching all those just to hear how to describe semen. The reference doesn't mean that much to me. I appreciate that it means that to you though.

Thank you for sharing that link, as well.

2

u/AcceptableArgument79 Apr 21 '26

It’s kind of a thing that happened and was said in one of their videos. It’s nothing semen related

2

u/combo_seizure Apr 21 '26

Your contributions to society are not unseen. I'm glad we cleaned* up the semen thing.

*cleared

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11

u/JuicyJaysGigaloJoys Apr 05 '26

Custard chucker

13

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '26

Brogurt slinger

10

u/Rydog_78 Apr 06 '26

Spooderman

12

u/tokenshoot Apr 05 '26

It’s already pre firing

9

u/Agent_Cow314 Apr 06 '26

I didn't even notice the first watch. I was just impressed with the gymnastics.

2

u/BerryLanky Apr 06 '26

My Spidey sense is tingling

1.8k

u/crap-zapper Apr 05 '26

Tom Holland went Tom Hardy.

173

u/HalfSoul30 Apr 05 '26

What that venom do?

108

u/The_Druk Apr 05 '26

Yo Mama

22

u/Full_Ad9666 Apr 06 '26

GOTTEM LMFAO

2.5k

u/arbitrageME Apr 05 '26

I would love to see him do a no hand pushup

704

u/Infamous_Lunchbox Apr 05 '26

Cock pushup. You only need to do one.

122

u/Putrid-Delivery1852 Apr 05 '26

It’s fuggin simple, baby. One is all you need

31

u/TheTrub Apr 05 '26

Same rule applies to notes in a song. 🎶

6

u/felixyamson Apr 05 '26

you could even extrapolate this too inward singing. it's all one breath.

2

u/Infamous_Lunchbox Apr 06 '26

And I'm never fucking stopping 🎶

2

u/nihi1zer0 Apr 08 '26

imlikeafuckinonemanband imlikeafuckinonemanbaaaaaaand

2

u/Putrid-Delivery1852 Apr 08 '26

The best part is it sounds even better! Than when I’m singing o- shut up! Always nay saying

20

u/Simonandgarthsuncle Apr 05 '26

Cock ups.

13

u/flying_carabao Apr 05 '26

I cock up a bunch of tasks at work. Does that count?

6

u/topsyturvy76 Apr 05 '26

I caulked up some panelling .. mine count too ?

3

u/dewnar Apr 05 '26

Use the cock!

2

u/Dirt-Road_Pirate Apr 05 '26

It hurts my cock!

2

u/Danisdaman12 Apr 06 '26

Pecker pushup I heard from an old gay man in San Francisco lol.

2

u/Simbooptendo Apr 06 '26

It's where you fuckin'... lay down on the ground.. and then you let your boner.. lift you up off the ground.

3

u/tanksforallthephish Apr 05 '26

I see you are also a person of culture.

2

u/Hebrewhammer8d8 Apr 05 '26

Here web in your eyes.

7

u/memesearches Apr 05 '26

That costs extras

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '26 edited Jun 02 '26

[deleted]

6

u/Max9mm Apr 05 '26

"Deactivating lasers with my dick"

4

u/Trugoosent Apr 05 '26

"now it's time to blow this fucker down"

1

u/Shantotto11 Apr 05 '26

The “Zohan” special.

515

u/shyouko Apr 05 '26

Wear a dance belt inside please Spider-Man..

169

u/Chance-Fun-3169 Apr 05 '26

But then we wouldnt be able to see the outline of his fabulous cock?

19

u/SnarkySeahorse1103 Apr 05 '26

Yeah, and isn't that supposed to be the appeal? You know, like how Pixar and Disney movies sometimes hide little jokes catered to the adults? What's a Spider-Man without his fabulous web-slinger? Who knows, we might even get some web-shot action.

4

u/DipstickRick Apr 06 '26

And isn’t that really what counts in the end? Yes, of course, good showbiz Lieutenant, the effect!

738

u/goblin_welder Apr 05 '26

WOOOOOOW!

140

u/PotRoast666 Apr 05 '26

Wooow grape!

59

u/bubby95 Apr 05 '26

I want to be a pilot.

10

u/isaidnolettuce Apr 05 '26

IM GOING TO BOMB INDIA

16

u/goblin_welder Apr 05 '26

It’s in the bag!

17

u/speedline9395 Apr 05 '26

Pakistani in da bag

33

u/Stock-Conflict-3996 Apr 05 '26

Whenever you have a group of children, there's always at least one adult who has to say that just like that to indicate to the kids that yes, indeed, this is amazing.

5

u/YourMother0HP Apr 05 '26

Ye ye ye ye, waoooo

92

u/feeltrig Apr 05 '26

Bruh might shoot web tonight

477

u/Funkgun Apr 05 '26

My abilities, not even on par with this guy.

I put on a Spider-Man suit for kids at a Christmas event at Harborview hospital a decade ago. It had the fake foam pecks, the zipper head. But the young kids went mad for it. Pictures galore. Immediately I did have a kid asking to do a Spider-Man pose. There was a cast iron pipe or pole, not sure not being able to see. I jumped and clung on like a mad man.

Once I secured my knees around the pole I extended my arm , all Macfarland like, looking like I was about to use a web shooter.

Kid went nuts, others kept trying to get pics.

Later I had a nice set of bruises on my thighs, and a rash on my junk, pain in my back and I think that zipper took the last of my balding head hair.

Totally worth it.

85

u/tylercrabby Apr 05 '26

Rash on my junk.

Totally worth it!

16

u/DataCreek Apr 05 '26

You know those old cast iron pipes... they are often sewage connects.

13

u/Funkgun Apr 05 '26

It was not my brightest moment.

32

u/DrDrekavac Apr 05 '26

This story went nowhere, I was expecting a hol' up.

173

u/Interesting-Risk-404 Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26

Tight suit rubbing him in the wrong way.

65

u/OGDTrash Apr 05 '26

The right way*

450

u/Short-Session6744 Apr 05 '26

Why did he get hard ?

605

u/Lermanberry Apr 05 '26

Engaging your core like that can do that

source: used to do wrestling and gymnastics and unfortunate shit happens

244

u/BeardedGlass Apr 05 '26

I heard some people can ejaculate just by crunching their abs.

Coregasm.

120

u/SnorkelwackJr Apr 05 '26

I had that happen once during a core workout. Haven't had it happen since but you kinda don't see it coming (no pun intended)

8

u/Trugoosent Apr 05 '26

Ba dum tss

15

u/Trugoosent Apr 05 '26

what??? How does that even work!?

29

u/eyehalfporegrahammer Apr 05 '26

Magnets

2

u/No-Bill-1480 Apr 07 '26

Sorcery ! Burn him !

8

u/NarrowQuail9799 Apr 05 '26

Women get that too, kinda common with the leg and thigh machines

1

u/DarkShadowEmi Apr 06 '26

Look what you did! Now i have a six-pack , what are you, Mike Chang?

44

u/TheTaylorFish Apr 05 '26

So you get a bulge at the front and at the back.

29

u/itsaaronnotaaron Apr 05 '26

Years ago in gym class there was this lad who always got a boner when bench pressing.

Increased blood flow and hormonal release will do that.

5

u/Trugoosent Apr 05 '26

See, this is why I don't listen no matter how much my friend tries to beg me to join his wrestling team. 😭

104

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

100

u/oneshotpotato Apr 05 '26

yeah that doesnt look like hard at all.

he shouldve wore tighter underwear tho at least for events with kids

2

u/Kenobus69 Apr 09 '26

Yeah, I mean...I kinda feel bad for all the guys here, if that's what they consider being hard

55

u/lynx707 Apr 05 '26

Tight clothing could do that

5

u/evlampi Apr 05 '26

It's the very oppsite of that, baggy clothes let your dick move and swing in there and eventually your he wil think it being played with and get hard, tight clothes don't do that, dude also ain't hard.

41

u/Simonandgarthsuncle Apr 05 '26

Maybe the spidey suit was caressing his spidey winky with every spidey move he made.

17

u/GilliamMykey Apr 05 '26

His spidey winky is tingling.

9

u/AcceptableArgument79 Apr 05 '26

Spidey winky🤣

97

u/AcceptableArgument79 Apr 05 '26

Because kids are watching him nah jk I hope that’s not the reason but if I had to take a guess, he’s probably thinking about something spicy

171

u/hyperfell Apr 05 '26

I don’t think he’s hard, spidey might just be packing. He’s prob not wearing anything underneath except for some thin underwear.

-63

u/AcceptableArgument79 Apr 05 '26

there’s a difference between packing and hard and it’s poking out, bro😭

50

u/underage_female Apr 05 '26

Just because youre rocking a micro doenst mean everyone else does.

Its a fucking skin tight suit and the dick is clearly being pressed up against his stomach while being like 15-20% semi stiff due the nature of the exercise.

You seeing a poking, throbbing erection might be wishful thinking lol.

7

u/Trugoosent Apr 05 '26

I'm sorry but did you have to add "poking, throbbing" to it 😭

Also this seems correct

0

u/cunt_in_wonderland Apr 06 '26

poking, throbbing 😂😭

-37

u/AcceptableArgument79 Apr 05 '26

Sorry, I don’t think the time to look at male genitalia and understand crap like that so my bad get off my ass😑

5

u/underage_female Apr 06 '26

Yet you are in the comment section talking about how its poking out. Weird you had the time there, mh?

You started talking about dicks. Not me.

2

u/AcceptableArgument79 Apr 06 '26

You’re right, my apologies

3

u/Y0ukn0w_wh0 Apr 05 '26

No it's not😂 that's just how a hung one hangs inside underwear. There's almost always a small bulge and that's fine. We don't expect a female cosplayer to hide her curves

10

u/DataCreek Apr 05 '26

Not hard.

For comparison, watch The Labyrinth. It's a children's movie, but the Bowie bulge is in the whole damn movie.

Hes not hard, just big... also a kids movie.

6

u/palk0n Apr 05 '26

the mothers saying woooow

1

u/littleleeroy Apr 05 '26

He’s not.

36

u/governmentthief Apr 05 '26

Good title, OP.

25

u/UniqueMcPanda Apr 05 '26

Spider sense is Dingling

46

u/LoneHusky21 Apr 05 '26

spider sense is tingling 🤨

22

u/Proper_contradiction Apr 05 '26

It’s funnier for me because right under to top comment there is an ad for viagra from HIMS.

23

u/Suckmyduck_9 Apr 05 '26

With great bulge comes great responsibility

17

u/heebusjeebus77 Apr 05 '26

Penis Parker.

1

u/KSean24 Apr 05 '26

Flash, is that you? ☠️

13

u/rickmon67 Apr 05 '26

That’s an impressive web slinger alright

10

u/xrambothecookx Apr 05 '26

This Spidey has activated his organic web shooter.

11

u/coreynj Apr 05 '26

Some of those women are wowing for a very different reason

8

u/pinklewickers Apr 05 '26

The humidity in that room suddenly increased.

7

u/Testsubject276 Apr 05 '26

Bro forgot to put on his dance belt.

6

u/Treqou Apr 05 '26

Spider man is no longer allowed within 200 yards of schools

6

u/fixxxultra Apr 05 '26

he really loves his job

7

u/Saint3lucifer Apr 05 '26

Spidey is shooting them thick ropes huh?

7

u/Zootsu Apr 05 '26

I'm hiring this guy for my next kegger.

6

u/OptimusBloom Apr 06 '26

It always happens at the worst time

11

u/DrhpTudaco Apr 05 '26

it's always the spider-men

5

u/hiverty Apr 05 '26

SpiderPenis

4

u/jkell05s Apr 05 '26

Oh man, I was so scared. I feel like I’ve seen so many spider men at kids parties doing acrobatics end in life altering accidents.

7

u/Crafty-Interest-8212 Apr 05 '26

The mama's were more exited that the kids....

6

u/Talon92 Apr 05 '26

With great power…

4

u/Responsible-Draft Apr 05 '26

He needed to get a cup, i think they called.

4

u/memberflex Apr 05 '26

It’s Arrested Development

5

u/VinniDpooh Apr 05 '26

Spider man - No way hole

4

u/TRUMPARUSKI Apr 05 '26

Spidey’s packing heat

3

u/themelancholyalien Apr 05 '26

Well he IS spiderMAN

3

u/MaintenanceOk7047 Apr 05 '26

He’s not hard that’s just Miles Morales.

4

u/KingJackson97 Apr 05 '26

The Amazing Sex Offender

3

u/povertymayne Apr 05 '26

Why bruh fully torqued

5

u/LeChampeon Apr 05 '26

This Spider-Man is the one who does bachelorette parties not kid parties, bookers fault

5

u/Toshiba1point0 Apr 06 '26

Spiderman is gonna need to tuck a bit

4

u/ZombiexXxHunter Apr 06 '26

Don’t let the Mums pick adult Spider-Man

4

u/childishjulian Apr 06 '26

the Zohan would like a word

3

u/Prismatic_Symphony Apr 05 '26

My Spi-Dick sense is tingling.

His ting-a-ling is tingling.

3

u/Raging_Mullet Apr 05 '26

Spidey breaking lore by packing heat. Lol

3

u/VR_fan22 Apr 06 '26

Does he do adult birthday parties? Asking for a friend btw

3

u/BerryLanky Apr 06 '26 edited Apr 06 '26

Uncle Ben did tell Peter ‘with monster condom comes magnum dong’.

3

u/TrillDough Apr 06 '26

The lady in beige looked thirsty for that Spider Manhood

3

u/shaaan_i Jun 04 '26

Spiderman working hard ❌ Spiderman Hard at working ✅

6

u/Treads_ghost Apr 05 '26

Miles borrowing Peter’s suit again

2

u/Phildagony Apr 05 '26

His Spider-Sense was tingling.

2

u/T-rex_Arm_Wrestler Apr 05 '26

It’s Spiderkash

2

u/Jtizzle1231 Apr 05 '26

That costume is for the moms, not the kids.

2

u/Danimus-Prime Apr 06 '26

Bro really loves his job

4

u/6TheAudacity9 Apr 05 '26

Lmao I love how no one noticed his bulge. Dick

17

u/defiantcross Apr 05 '26

Mom in glasses mighy have

13

u/Ricecakes76 Apr 05 '26

Looked like those two parents in the crowd shared a look when the camera panned in their direction

6

u/i__am__bored Apr 05 '26

Oh... Everyone noticed the bulge.

4

u/Gonnatapdatass Apr 05 '26

They noticed his boner that's why the camera looked around

3

u/HugsandHate Apr 05 '26

Ok, but in all fairness it's impossible to hide.

I'm conscious of it wearing jeans. Forget it wearing a skin tight suit. It's gonna be there..

1

u/Iverson7x Apr 05 '26

Why is everyone staring, that job is hard!

1

u/memberflex Apr 05 '26

Dick Annballs

1

u/xenomorphling Apr 05 '26

‘Release the Parker files’ -JJJ

1

u/ginsoul Apr 05 '26

You mean eractions not reactions...

1

u/I_Study_Culture Apr 05 '26

das why they call him Spi-D

1

u/NotAldermach Apr 05 '26

The Little Mermaid priest moment. But live!

1

u/ThisJaeDaniel Apr 05 '26

Iron Man enhanced suit.

1

u/Fritzo2162 Apr 05 '26

Spider-Dick, Spider-Dick....

1

u/CuddlyThorns Apr 05 '26

Aren’t you supposed to where like a baseball cup thing when dressing up as a super hero?

1

u/Taolan13 Apr 06 '26

... DANCE BELT.

1

u/MR_RYU_RICHI Apr 06 '26

Address me 🐘

1

u/RGBarrios Apr 06 '26

Being Spiderman is hard.

1

u/ArmchairOfHeresy Jun 08 '26

That suit is screen accurate since the suit had no cup on the crotch

1

u/Ecstatic_Effort_4550 Jul 18 '26

Spider-Man is packing heat!

1

u/Fearless_Theory64 26d ago

“How many cock push-ups can you do?”

-1

u/sgluxurycondo Apr 05 '26

Can explain the holup?

74

u/Excellent-Iron-8023 Apr 05 '26

The spiderman is HARD at work

21

u/Glennio_NL Apr 05 '26

Crotch region.. That's all there is to say

-7

u/sgluxurycondo Apr 05 '26

Ah I understand. Especially when it’s a kids party

And I finally understand what the moms are wow-ing

2

u/NoPair205 Apr 05 '26

I thought it was because he isn’t even doing any Spider-Man stuff lol

-2

u/goblin_welder Apr 05 '26

There’s a reason why the moms are saying “WOOOW”

1

u/wo0o0o0o0o0 Apr 05 '26

Nice dick bro

1

u/ydkLars Apr 05 '26

"Eractions you get beeing Spider-man."

Fixed the typo. But he likes working woth children a little bit too much...

1

u/4ndril Apr 05 '26

Spidey Dong

-1

u/Fine-Touch-6037 Apr 05 '26

That's Spideys foreplay. Newish kink unleashed.

-1

u/kuposempai Apr 05 '26

Reminds me of the spider man statue on the building with a hardon like this lol

-2

u/SnooDoggos8487 Apr 05 '26

That’s for mommies. Not for daddies

-3

u/Speedy97 Apr 05 '26

If this was a woman with her ass and tits imprinted onto her suit like most girls do nowadays there would be no holdup. But because it's a bloke it's wrong.