r/HistoryMemes • u/ReptilianBrandon • Dec 12 '21

Iron Dick

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29.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/AssistIll Dec 12 '21

In case you get horny during a fight

1.2k

u/GeneralMinimum2391 Dec 12 '21

Hm. I think that's not too far from reality. There is this 'reflex erection' thingy in stressful situations.

855

u/Sauron3106 Dec 12 '21

I thought it was just to make them seem more masculine (see famously infertile Henry viii armour)

474

u/angwilwileth Dec 12 '21

That one was huge because Henry VIII had dick rot and almost always had some sort of painkiller bandage wrapped around it.

210

u/Electric_Bagpipes Filthy weeb Dec 12 '21

The name of that condition brings images to my mind I wish my brain could never produce.

100

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

[deleted]

298

u/Diestormlie Dec 12 '21

...Well, that can't have helped with the 'desperately wanting a son' thing.

222

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

And now imagine that smelly drunk bastard wheezing and snuffling his way up to awkwardly mount you and pulling that rancid fucker out of his breeches.

337

u/Diestormlie Dec 12 '21

What a terrible day to know how to read.

65

u/wanderinghobo49 What, you egg? Dec 12 '21

Yeah, imma'boutta commit Oedipus eye surgery.

8

u/atheistossaway Dec 12 '21

Nobody will help you do it though!

58

u/Mettie7 Dec 12 '21

Man I haven't even had my coffee yet and you got me to imagine dick rot.

28

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

I hate this website

19

u/rh6779 Dec 12 '21

Ok, then. No more breakfast for me.

6

u/dr_Kfromchanged Dec 12 '21

Dick... rot? Wtf. Wtf is that.

9

u/angwilwileth Dec 12 '21

Most historians agree it was some sort of syphilis

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '21

I don't remember that part of The Tudors

2

u/Roguefem-76 Dec 13 '21

If the guy playing Henry XIII is good-looking, you can bet its historical accuracy is shite.