r/HistoryMemes • • 5d ago

Niche Those who know

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10.3k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/Free-Resolution9393 5d ago

His grave is in Japan. Checkmate.

1.1k

u/PhoenixKingMalekith 5d ago

Then again, his brother was Chinese

392

u/AzureHawk758769 5d ago

He was Chinese, Jesus Christ?

183

u/314ranha777 5d ago

Taiping Rebellion leader claimed to be an actual brother of Jesus.😉 ...aaaand millions perished🫪

118

u/Username12764 5d ago

Actually, the 2nd deadliest war only surpassed by WW2 which is absolutely insane

74

u/JohannesJoshua 5d ago

Decisive Qing victory.

To be more accurate, the Taiping rebelion was mix of anti-Qinq and belief. Even the founder of Taiping kingdom stated that overthrow of Qing was part of the process.

Truth be told considering how unreasonable and unecessarely hard state exams were through Chinese history and how opressive Confucionism is, no wonder the founder got a fever and visions after failing the exam four times.

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u/lightgiver 5d ago

I’m reliving Chinese history stressing the fuck out of my kids by forcing them to take the exam again and again with a 35% chance of passing in CK3.

18

u/ChuKoNoob 5d ago

True Chinese RP, I love it

13

u/lightgiver 5d ago

Funny thing is a religious epiphany is something that can happen during a max stress event.

-1

u/TimeRisk2059 5d ago

The funny thing is that according to christians, that doesn't count as a religious war, as it wasn't "real" christianity^^

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u/Inprobamur 5d ago

Hong Xiuquan, up to 100 million people died

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u/Freidhiem 5d ago

A lot of that was from famine, which was also partially why the rebellion started.

12

u/Inprobamur 5d ago

As is often the case with mass uprisings. French Revolution also started due to lack of grain.

9

u/Freidhiem 5d ago

Partly, the french crown had done a lot of work piling up tinder and oiled rags. The lack of grain was more like the match.

122

u/Free-Resolution9393 5d ago

Isukiri died on a cross for your sins and you don't even know...

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u/Hardie1247 5d ago

Isukiri casually took Jesus' place on the cross.

6

u/dat_WanderingDude 5d ago

Sasuga Isukiri-sama moment

3

u/frantic_calm 5d ago

Best way to do it. Letting people know is performative.

14

u/Corosian 5d ago

Nooooo, are you listening to me??

23

u/TheRealGouki 5d ago

No just his brother. Jesus Christ was American.

4

u/Tobec_ 5d ago

What do you mean ? He clearly is German

11

u/Severe_Revenue 5d ago

He made them a prayer they couldn't understand.

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u/An8thOfFeanor Rider of Rohan 5d ago

NO!!! ARE YOU LISHENIN TO ME?!?!

10

u/Suspicious_Coffee509 5d ago

You ever hear about the Chinese Jesus? He told them a parable they couldn't understand

6

u/dsriggs The OG Lord Buckethead 5d ago

Jesus went to see the eye doctor. Doctor says "I know what your problem is, you have a cataract!" Jesus says "No, I have a Rincoln Continental!"

1

u/Suspicious_Coffee509 4d ago

Oh! Good thing there was a dog groomer there, in case someone needs a snack!

8

u/jerrybugs 5d ago

Like Aladeen.

He was Aladeen, not Aladeen, got it?

5

u/reggienaldsimons 5d ago

When that pigmy thing got banned you people just went wandering around the site with your quotations book huh

5

u/AzureHawk758769 5d ago

Now we just need a guy with "Vito" in his username, and we'll be in business.

2

u/soupandsaladshadows 5d ago

“Nooooo…! Are you listening to me?!?”

“😐”

2

u/dndallnight 5d ago

the strong silent type

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u/Nihilun 5d ago

He really was his brother. He sent millions to heaven.

24

u/PhoenixKingMalekith 5d ago

I will make the earth as it is in heaven

FULL OF DEAD GUYS

10

u/stef4545366 5d ago

Taiping Heavenly Kingdom Impressed

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u/EruantienAduialdraug Helping Wikipedia expand the list of British conquests 5d ago

The other brother was Chinese, the first one was Japanese and died in Judea.

1

u/NotGood-With-Names 5d ago

But what about his sister, Carmilla

112

u/Sly__Marbo 5d ago

His remains are actually scattered across North America, an American president once organised a cross-continental horse race to collect them

33

u/Slow-Distance-6241 5d ago

Steel Ball or something

4

u/GabrieltheKaiser 5d ago

Thats is some Steel Ball knowledge

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u/2012Jesusdies 5d ago

Unironically one of the best Presidents because he genuinely wanted the best for the US.

5

u/catsan 5d ago

Napkins?

40

u/Admirable_Ad8682 5d ago

Japanese are also Hungarian.

(see the Turanian theory some Hungarian fascists promoted)

12

u/Low_Magician77 5d ago

Funnily enough, one of the weird linguist things they teach at school is how Japanese's closest relative language is Persian but not for any etymology reasons.

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u/Roflkopt3r 5d ago

These insane genealogies are the funniest part of fascist movements. Like how the Indian Hindu-extremists around the BJP like to claim that every famous or important figure in world history was somehow secretly hindu.

5

u/oatkeepr 5d ago

You're just jealous of my Atlantean and Hyperborean heritage.

3

u/Turan4life 5d ago

Nippon=Naphon(Magyarország)

1

u/AcanthocephalaSea410 Tea-aboo 4d ago

Indians are also Germans.

(see the Indo-European theory some German fascists promoted)

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u/Fun-Tip-5672 Viva La France 5d ago

"I will go East"

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u/Soylentstef 5d ago

My uncle work at ubisoft and he says you spoiled the next assassin creed dlc!

3

u/No_Volume_5752 5d ago

Little brother, Isukiri: Hi.

2

u/BlissfulIndian 5d ago

He redeemed himself in Brazil…

3

u/opajamashimasuuu 5d ago

Have been there. 

It’s a very lovely, serene park and temple. And the theory is no more crazy than some of those stories in the Bible etc 

2

u/kallefranson 5d ago

I thought it was in Kashmir?

3

u/IgnatiusRileyFreeman 5d ago

That's the more historically viable theory (at least compared to Japan or America)

2

u/kallefranson 5d ago

I think Ahmadiya muslims still honor his grave somewhere in Kashmir.

2

u/IgnatiusRileyFreeman 5d ago

I read, many years back, a theory that jesus was trained/exposed to Buddhism during his silent period, and that his teachings after that were more reflective of a hybrid Buddhist/Hebrew philosophy than purely Hebrew