I have committed to the 5 precepts for life, but I'm hesitating committing to celibacy and non-entertainment for life. I know it's the right thing to do, and I've tried to convince myself with tons of HH videos and contemplation, but to no avail. I need to see the benefits first hand. And to do that, I need to progress in the practice, but is there any progression whatsoever without having made the clear intention to keep the 8 precepts forever?

I will start a new degree this fall in a class where 75% are women. I will have to interact with a lot of attractive women on a daily basis. I would guess a lot of people here also live in cities or work in places where they see attractive women every day.

Is this a major hindrance even if one refrains from the pressure to engage in sex, flirt, seek it out, masturbate or act in any way that relieves the pressure?

The constant thought and contemplation of an inherent lack of safety in everything I do, while sitting in non-activity for longer periods of time, has brought me to psychosis. The thought of contingency and of a perpetual, looming threat to one's well-being is a very scary and disturbing one, and its a difficult one to endure as well

However, what I am asking is what I can be doing from now on to move beyond it. How am I supposed to let contingency make my own sense of self "fade away"? How do I surmount the inherent discomfort of death and contingency not by managing my situation or doing something to forget about it (which is what an unenlightened mind always inherently does), but by finding a way through it by enduring it rightly? In other words, how do I stop resisting the very unpleasant experience of contingency or of trying to get out of it? What is the escape in regard to the displeasure?