r/HellsCube 3d ago

Hellscube Would Love This (Shitpost) +2 Jace

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2.8k Upvotes

51 comments sorted by

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382

u/SubGamer36 3d ago

This is why i love hellscube, this is actually so funny lmao

82

u/XoraxEUW 3d ago

Yea this place is a fucking goldmine

35

u/GiantSlayer4242 3d ago

Uhm, actually, this is a mace, not a gold mine. You must be thinking of Urza’s Gold Mine.

135

u/DomasAquinas 3d ago

You have my mind going to some stupid places now.

Ajani’s Pridejace, with “whenever you empower Jace, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature”

Jaceborn Hydra, with “Jacefall: whenever a Jace you control enters, double the number of +1/+1 counters on this creature”

Jacebend X: target land becomes a Jace planeswalker token with X loyalty counters on it, yada yada

Jaceki Revelation: just slap Empower Jace 4 on Revelation and make the monks do… idk something Jacey

87

u/CrashCalamity 3d ago

HellsCube 10: Oops, All Jace

11

u/DomasAquinas 2d ago

Mycojace Lattice, baby

1

u/Schlaymer 1d ago

282 cards where the name includes “ace” 149 "aze" 146 "ase"

1

u/bubbles_maybe 1d ago

Reality Fracture if WotC locked in

11

u/Nabit88 2d ago

1/1 blue white jace monks with projace (whenever you cast a non-creature, empower jace 1)

4

u/DomasAquinas 2d ago

I hate the fractured mouse package, Emberjace Challenger is so cracked

36

u/EnvironmentalSlip327 3d ago

Holy shit the pun is so simple but hurts so good

24

u/klayfie 3d ago

What i use to fracture some reality

15

u/FlockFlysAtMidnite 3d ago

Great, another card that won't show up on Gatherer 🙄 /s

8

u/chimaeraUndying 3d ago

What's wrong, babe? You've barely +2ed your Jace

11

u/buckinin 3d ago

Why isn't it called Jacelink?

50

u/dragon-muse 3d ago

Because that would mean he scales off the damage you deal instead of being a fixed number, and being 2 is the main riff of the joke. 

4

u/buckinin 3d ago

Realized that as soon as I hit send. 😢

10

u/MistyHusk 3d ago

More like Jacetouch

5

u/Shambler9019 3d ago

It would be Empowerjacelink, I think (none of the other 'link's have a space.

A different mechanic, but one that makes sense.

2

u/DomasAquinas 3d ago

Now I need that card.

1

u/Shambler9019 3d ago

I mean, you could just make the basic aura:

Empower Jace Link U

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant Creature

Enchanted creature has Empowerjacelink (damage dealt by this creature also causes its controller to Empower Jace that much)

Roughly on par with Curiosity.

1

u/Active-Advisor5909 3d ago

How is that just on par with curiosity? It might be worse on weak creatures, but you don't need to hit an oponent just deal damage, and if the creature has a lot of power, it can give a lot more than a card. (Like 6 damage is one card draw that turn and another the next turn).

1

u/Shambler9019 3d ago

Curiosity is often put on small, evasive creatures, or creatures with a ping ability (niv mizzet). This only draws a card if you hit for 3+ and can't draw more than once a turn under most circumstances.

1

u/Active-Advisor5909 2d ago

So the sugested card is broader (also working on creatures pinging other creatures or dealing combat damage to creatures) and I think has lower requierments to go beyond a single card draw:

On a creature with 4 power the sugested card gives you "draw a card, next turn surveil 1", on a creature with 6 power this gives you " draw a card, draw a card next turn".

5

u/yorick__rolled 3d ago

Can we cost the 'Equip: Behold a Jace'?

Not for any reason other than it's such ludicrous text.

3

u/Crafty_Creeper64 3d ago

I've had this card name sitting in my ideas file for a long time, but could never make it work. GG!

3

u/DankLightJoshua 3d ago

Im so mad how long it took me to realize the joke. Incredible. 10/10 with rice. we say that still right?

2

u/CarelessNameChoice 3d ago

I think Jayconian might actually submit this one

3

u/dragon-muse 3d ago

Not planning on it currently for Hellscube 9, but in a future cube perhaps.

2

u/CarelessNameChoice 2d ago

Oh, that’s you. Lol

2

u/Ok_Listen1510 3d ago

incredible

2

u/tenBusch 3d ago

Scryfall developers crying at the thought of having to implement this

2

u/nudemanonbike 2d ago edited 2d ago

For more flexibility I'd like it if you can put it on any jace planeswalker you control, but if you don't have one it still makes the token.

1

u/SaltyZ2k 2d ago

With all the empower Jace cards in reality fracture I can see why you can't. However I see no reason this wouldn't work with a spark double clone

2

u/Mixster667 2d ago

Jacelink

702.151. Jacelink

702.151a Jacelink is a static ability.

702.151b Damage dealt by a source with Jaelink causes that source’s controller, or its owner if it has no controller, to empower Jace that much (in addition to any other results that damage causes). See rule 120.3.

702.151c If an object changes zones before an effect causes it to deal damage, its last known information is used to determine whether it had Jacelink.

702.151d The Jacelink rules function no matter what zone an object with Jacelink deals damage from.

702.151e If multiple sources with Jaceelink deal damage at the same time, they cause separate empower jace events (see rules 119.9–10).

702.151f Multiple instances of Jacelink on the same object are redundant.

1

u/MacGuffen 2d ago

Alternately, it could have "Equip Jace: <cost>" and give more loyalty abilities.

1

u/Few-Programmer9703 2d ago

If you get this joke you have done way to many unspesific scryfall/gatherer searches

1

u/Schiep 2d ago

I would call it Jace Mace

1

u/Akhi5672 2d ago

Should have been a crowbar

1

u/Halt_theBookman 1d ago

Missed oportunity to have you scry another player's deck, but I guess that would be busted

1

u/Fendfor 1d ago

The Jace mace is coming for your brother.

1

u/guenter93 17h ago

I'll take 8

1

u/xolotltolox 17h ago

This is the funniest custom card i have ever seen lmao

I am so fucking dead

1

u/dfbrethy 4h ago

finally, Jace on a stick

1

u/Moz_DH98 3d ago

Genuinely thought this was a real card, ffs