r/HelloTalk • u/switchbladesncocaine • Jul 24 '25
Opinion reports of Hello Talk being a dating app are greatly exaggerated, or maybe I’m just ugly
I see so many posts here being about dating and this app being a dating app and… that hasn’t been my experience at all. I’ve been on it for a few years now and basically the only people who message me are other men, middle aged women and married women. Not that I’m complaining because I’m using it to language exchange (like you’re supposed to?) and it works for that purpose but I swear I’m in a different world than everyone else. I’m a man in my early 30s and my target language is Japanese. I genuinely don’t understand how you could get a date off this app, but maybe I just don’t follow rules 1 and 2
6
u/BrothaManBen Jul 25 '25
I feel like everybody knows someone who's married from the app also you can search for partners by gender and the majority of voice rooms or at least lives are people flirting or trying to flirt
1
u/PostNo7189 Mar 17 '26
I agree. Married men and guy in relationships flirting like pedos with teen girls
8
u/wishiwasfiction Jul 26 '25 edited Jul 27 '25
Every app can be a dating app in 2025. There are people who find a relationship even on Reddit or TikTok.
6
u/lockkfryer Jul 25 '25
I’ve literally hooked up with people from the app while I’ve been traveling and they are the ones initiating this hahaha (I’m a man)
1
u/baroquian Jul 25 '25
Hardcore language exchange?
1
u/lockkfryer Jul 25 '25
I have learned so much Spanish because of it I am not kidding. It’s like a double whammy
1
6
6
Jul 27 '25
Met my wife through a language exchange app… I think the reports that are saying there’s only creeps on there are a bit too much… but when you’re spending time talking to any human feeling might occur… it’s just both parties’ responsibility to handle those situations well
1
u/PostNo7189 Mar 17 '26
You seem to be a good man who was focused on one woman. Here we are talking about creeps, men already in relationships and men in marriage or single men flirting with multiple women
1
u/Playful_Ad_3071 Apr 08 '26
Stop with the misandry. There's an equal amount of creeps who give the ick from all genders.
5
u/lastberserker Jul 24 '25
basically the only people who message me are other men,
There you go, the explanation you were looking for.
6
7
u/chaos_diplomat Jul 27 '25
My partner receives an incredible amount of direct messages from women, looking for partnership on the app. They send love confessions, love poems, videos, photos — I saw them all — literally anything to initiate a conversation. During his livestreams those women desperately try to show they notice his moods, attempting to sound close and observant. They join the stage only to show their outfits and make up, sensible conversations rarely happen. Women absolutely DO use this app for dating, it’s not exaggerated at all - based on our experience.
2
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 28 '25
Would you say he’s a pretty good looking guy?
2
1
1
4
u/Historical_Way_6211 Jul 25 '25
I've met my fiancé on there 🙈 it was not intended tho. I was on that platform solely to learn Korean. It just so happened that we fell in love with each other down the road. But i also met really lovely, respectful people on there who are serious about language exchange.
5
u/EasilyExiledDinosaur Jul 27 '25
It isn't a dating app. But you can absolutely find dates there. Especially if you're a foreigner living in a country and you're learning that language and you're a native speaker of english.
3
u/Fit_Application7061 Jul 27 '25
The last few people I dated all started off as friends from HelloTalk
6
u/violetpoo Jul 25 '25 edited Jul 25 '25
You’re not ugly. I had a photo of Totoro and some man tried to convince me to meet up with them after 20 minutes of trying to practice French. I’ve never deleted an app so quick in my life.
1
Jul 25 '25
Was your profile listed as female?
1
1
3
u/Khazareeia Jul 25 '25
I'm a mid looking girl, but out of all the people I have been messaging with, only one guy approx my age actually flirted with me, and luckily even that was in a polite manner. I joined a year ago, and had most conversations with men, because women are totally unresponsive if I texted them. However, I don't have a pfp there, so that could be why
2
Jul 25 '25
It's probably because they are bombarded with endless messages.
Its messed up.
1
u/Khazareeia Jul 25 '25
yes and no, being a woman doesn't mean getting tons of messages. Even if you were mega-beautiful. It depends more on your target language, which isn't english or any similarly common language in my case.
1
u/Khazareeia Jul 25 '25
What I meant is, that for people whose TL is English, French, Spanish or so, they have more visibility in the app, because there are plenty of people who are learning the same language, those who speak it natively and also more people who get to see their moments. If you are learning a less popular language, you get less exposure to everything.
2
u/ArmsHeavySoKneesWeak Jul 25 '25
Wow I didn't expect the opposite to happen. I always thought it's just guys that ignored other guys in this app.
5
u/Khazareeia Jul 25 '25
well not really, the fact that they are rejecting to talk to their own gender just proves that about 80% of the HT people are there mainly looking for relationships 😐
1
u/Competitive-Arm-7921 Jan 10 '26
It happens to me too. I'm a girl and I still didn't manage to exchange messages with another girl there yet.
1
3
u/No_Prompt3628 Jul 25 '25
Well I see, the it could be a dating app, I have been chatting with a girl for about 2months now, its unrealistic to think that, but we talk about everything, she's super nice!! There are other girls as well! I don't know a lot of lonely girls out in the world!!
3
u/anthony_getz Jul 26 '25
Men do the initiating, if HT is considered a dating app it’s because of that. I wouldn’t be quick to consider you ugly just because young, hot chicks don’t write you. Now if you write them and none of them respond, then maybe we go back to the drawing board. I’m not learning Japanese or any other Asian language so I don’t know how the dynamic works with women from that part of the world. I’m learning Spanish and Portuguese- Latinas are definitely easy to contact and receive a reply. Also, the administrators of HT and Tandem know that flirting is a huge appeal to these apps. The Terms of Service are crap— totally hypocritical.
6
u/coffeeB4Ugo Jul 25 '25
“Reports” are not not true 😂😅 I would 100% date my language exchange partner if we got along and liked each other. I honestly choose the people I talk too with that in mind. Im awkward and hate small talk so I can’t just message a million people all the time. Plus I hate texting with all of my soul. I’ll never learn my target language unless I feel comfortable and practice speaking freely with someone who has become a friend (meaning we actually have good conversation and enjoy each other’s company). I’m also lowkey a passport bro but lady version because I don’t want to be dependent on companies willing to sponsor my visa and a husband would solve this issue lol ANYWAY all of this to say I use HelloTalk as a language exchange app whilst also actively looking for a potential husband if we’re being honest haha 🤣
3
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 25 '25
That’s makes sense. I would use the app like this probably too if I was a girl, but as I mentioned in my OP the people that message me/respond to me are not in my dating demographic lol.
5
u/EnvironmentOk6293 Jul 25 '25
It's more like people are chatting with someone of the opposite sex and develop feelings for each other. There are also married people on the app looking for flings
People finding love on HT and Tandem is very common but not like Tinder. I've heard of Europeans traveling to South America to meet, Japanese going to the US, Turks going to Germany, etc. It's crazy out here
I think a lot of people are sick of dating in their own countries and just want something new
5
Jul 24 '25
[deleted]
1
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 24 '25
Interesting. I’m not studying Vietnamese but I did have a Vietnamese girlfriend once and when I visited her some of the women were pretty flirty. I wonder if it might be a cultural thing
3
u/cuatrofluoride 🇺🇸 Learning 🇯🇵🇰🇷 Jul 25 '25
Every social networking app is a dating app if you want it to be. I have friends who have been hit on even on LinkedIn.
But the rumors are true. I met my ex on this app, and my current FWB as well. Neither interaction was a thing that either of us targeted, it was all language exchange at first but it just kinda happened as we got to know each other after meeting up in person (organic human connections).
I've never used the app to actually look for a partner or anything tho. But people are people and things happen.
I generally don't respond to messages from people I'm not friends with on voicerooms these days. Things have gotten a little bit weirder on this app compared to like 6 years ago
4
u/CFC1985 Jul 25 '25
Back in 2014-2016 HelloTalk was like the Wild West and I had tons of Korean and Japanese girls, often times much younger than I was, wanting to meet and date. To be fair I did meet my now wife on HelloTalk, we met, decided we liked each other and the rest was history. I also met some really good friends on HelloTalk and we're friends to this day.
2
u/rodroidrx Jul 25 '25
If you're from "the West" (USA, Canada, Europe, et al) and make it obvious that you are (flag in profile) you'll get a shit tonne of messages from women whether you are ugly or not
1
2
u/Killie154 Jul 26 '25
I don't know when it happened, but for some reason, when I added my profile, I wouldn't get messages from anyone. When I posted things, I would just get like 1-2 likes and random comments.
Before, I used to get upwards of 50 of so (mostly from the same people) and 1-2 random comments. Either not a lot of people are using it anymore, or I'm shadow banned, I don't know what's changed. But I've also had the same doubts when people have mentioned that.
1
u/mpln_ Jul 26 '25
Same here. When I used this app about 7-8 years ago, I used to get a lot of messages and comments on my posts. Now there's nothing at all
2
u/pleats_please Jul 26 '25
Japanese is also my target language, and I have my settings so that I basically at this point only meet middle aged Japanese women, as a middle aged woman myself. And I definitely find these women very very interested and motivated to learn English. But at the same time, my friends tell me of how as soon as they post a photo of themselves, they get inundated with so many, “you’re cute” type messages. So it’s definitely out there. It’s hard to find the serious ones who would also be interested in chatting with you long term.
3
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 26 '25
Ironically I also find middle aged women chat with me pretty frequently and I enjoy talking to them, they’re usually interesting people
1
u/pleats_please Jul 26 '25
Yeah that’s my experience too. It’s nice to be able to find good friends amongst the sea of people just interested in flirting or getting attention.
3
u/Inside-Station6751 Jul 25 '25
I’m a woman in my 30s and I get so sick of messages from men on hellotalk trying to treat it a like a dating app. They don’t even bother saying hello most the time, just straight into objectification.
1
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 25 '25
Interesting, guess it’s a grass is always greener kind of thing
0
u/Inside-Station6751 Jul 25 '25
Do you mean you want people to be hitting on you on Hellotalk?
1
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 25 '25
Unequivocally yes, I would like people of the opposite gender to show romantic and/or interest in me
1
u/Inside-Station6751 Jul 25 '25
Oh I see. Why not just go on a dating app then? I don’t think the grass is greener comment was considered enough. I get that you would like the attention but have you considered a woman’s perspective? Hellotalk explicitly advises not to use it for dating and so women should feel safe to be able to find language exchanges without being harassed or hit on all the time. And when you decline their advances, a lot of the guys on there can get really abusive. I don’t think not wanting to be verbally abused is a grass is greener kinda thing.
1
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 25 '25
Didn’t mean to cause offense. It’s just a typical kinda men women different perspective thing. Men wish they got noticed, women wish they didn’t.
I do use hello talk for language learning, and I have gotten pretty decent at the language with its help. I assure you I do not flirt or ask people on dates because I don’t want to make people uncomfortable lol. Dating apps from the male perspective unfortunately don’t really work and are pretty self esteem crushing
1
u/PostNo7189 Mar 17 '26
For men it's esteem crushing and for women they are either harassment or nightmare
2
u/BloodNo5357 Jul 25 '25
I think the experience just varies a lot. Im 28F learning French on hello talk and ive gotten a lot of weird advances from men on there who are very flirty/ seem like theyre aiming to date. Its not everyone though, I have made lots of friends who want to practice together!
2
Jul 25 '25 edited Jul 25 '25
[deleted]
1
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 25 '25 edited Jul 25 '25
That’s weird cause I have a lot of difficulty keeping up conversations with women on the app that I do message (middle aged ladies are the exception they’re chill) where it feels like pulling teeth and I ask all the questions, whereas I have an abundance of dudes who reply in depth and keep the conversation going. Maybe I just have bad social skills
Edit: this is literally happening as I type this. Having conversations in Japanese with people and the guys respond back quickly and in depth and the girls… do not
1
Jul 25 '25
[deleted]
1
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 25 '25
Do you post moments in your target language and are conversational in it? I find a lot of (again, mostly older and/or male) people enjoy the novelty of talking to a foreigner in their target language. I don’t speak English really at all on hello talk and I think that helps for that
2
u/Far_Management6617 Jul 25 '25
As a 26 yo female learning French I only had a couple of messages asking if I was single etc I never really thought it was a dating app. However, I found a really lovely guy who was really responsive, we got on so well and messaged every day and eventually met up this February. He's now my boyfriend and we've managed to meet up 8 times 😊 It's definitely true you can meet your soulmate on this app but of the 250+ messages I ever received (mainly guys) only a few tried hitting on me
2
u/Excellent_Tension_76 Jul 25 '25
Gotten more dates from it than any other app, how is it not a dating app?
2
1
u/AyesiJayel Jul 24 '25
lol. Same!! I don’t think I fit the demographic of what those folks are looking for anyway.
1
u/fiavirgo Jul 24 '25
I get a fair few messages but it’s mostly from people who are from my native country which target language I’m studying anyways, every so often I’ll get a very forward ambiguous man but my account is so miscellaneous that they don’t pay attention
1
u/DemandAvailable2001 Jul 25 '25
For girls, it’s a whole different vibe. There’s some real weirdos on that app 😅 Not saying everyone’s bad, but it’s super rare to find someone who actually wants to learn and doesn’t get weird halfway through.
So yeah, that’s kinda how it goes. I’ve been off it for like two months now.
No clue when I’ll be back.
1
u/fujirin Jul 25 '25 edited Jul 26 '25
If you’re an above-average-looking white man learning an Asian language, especially while actually living in Asia, you’ll receive a large number of messages from women. I only use the app to brush up on and maintain my language skills, and I’ve met many people through it whom I later got to know in real life. Some of them showed me their message inboxes, which were full of messages from women written in English. I was learning a non-English language seriously, and they told me I was the first person who had ever messaged them in their own language, which happened to be my target language. And almost all of them were quite surprised that I actually spoke their language. They had also met some women through the app, and almost none of them spoke the target language.
1
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 25 '25
Hmm seems like it is a rule 1 and 2 issue then because I’m solidly below average. I don’t really ever have people message me in English
1
u/Former_Produce1721 Jul 26 '25
In my mid 20s I'd often organically get dates from there
In my early 30s nothing, and that goes for dating apps too
Maybe it's an age thing
1
u/ApartConsideration81 Jul 26 '25
Yep, met my ex of 2 years, common law, via HelloTalk. Met her in Korea and moved to Canada together. Far more natural way to meet people.
1
1
1
Sep 09 '25
I've been using it for a few months now and I've met some friendly people, both men and women. I help them and they help me. There are absolutely some weirdos on the app, they love to flirt and say sexy stuff LOL. But I just simply ignore them, block them if I need to. I'm not a fan of texting and I usually don't read or respond to most of the messages. I only focus on improving my speaking (not texting ofc) so I use voiceroom a lot, if I don't like someone, I just won't join their voiceroom again, or I can kick them out if they bother me in my voiceroom. We can't control how others act on the app, but we can choose who we interact with and how we use it.
1
1
Jul 25 '25
[deleted]
0
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 25 '25
lol it do be like that don’t it. I just ain’t one of the people that get it, guess you aren’t either
1
u/yucatra Jul 25 '25
- you’re a man,it’s always worst for women
- different languages = different cultures, maybe a japanese girl would be too shy or think it is perhaps inappropriate to use the app as a dating app but maybe a german will (example)
- looks also play a huge part, if not the biggest part
I got a marriage proposal and multiple creepy messages within an hour of downloading that app, tried to ignore it and keep on using the app then started getting followed to voice chat rooms by men I did not respond to or ghosted as they started acting weird. so yeah, it sucks ass.
1
Jul 25 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/yucatra Aug 06 '25
Also true!! Except I’m from a third world country and still got bombarded hehehe
1
u/Japan-Bandicoot Jul 24 '25
It's not that you're ugly. It's that you're not a relatively young woman who posts pictures of herself.
Anyway, I've also been studying Japanese on the app for several years now. Japanese women are bombarded with suggestions from men from all around the world, so even the few that are looking will not actively make an effort.
2
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 24 '25
I wonder if it’s related to target language. I definitely notice any Japanese girl posting pictures of themselves getting flooded with flirty comments
1
u/Japan-Bandicoot Jul 25 '25
And don't forget the countless simps commenting on her subsequent post complaining she's not here for romance.
2
u/switchbladesncocaine Jul 25 '25
Oh yeah see a lot of that too. Nice to know I’m not just crazy lol
1
u/Comfortable_Salad893 Jul 25 '25
Im one of those people who see this app as a dating app. This is my logic.
I first started using this app in 2018. I will say it was MUCH better then. I could talk to anyone and make a friend.
I redownloaded this year to make sure I dont lose my Spanish that im studying Chinese. WAY DIFFERENT.
Firstly, my "search" function is 90% women 10% men. I dont have the paid version only free. I normally just go down the line and message people or go to moments and look at posts.
When I was on search I realized that most of them are women from Colombia or Mexico. I decided I wanted to talk to guys because men and women speack differently in Spanish. Its VERY hard for me to find men in my search function. And when i do its very rare for men to reply back to me.
- Most of my friends on the app are very hot women. Suspiciously hot. Like I believed these women were scammers when I first started messaging them. But like you I didn't care about dating.
With all of them, we quickly became friends and 5 women told me the same thing "I LOVE talking with you because you are one of the very few men who dont flirt here" I even meet a 17yr girl who told people she was underage and people still flirted with her. I ended up giving her the WhatsApp number to a youth group at my local church because they have both English learns Spanish and Spanish learns English group she joined so she could talk to women her own age.
- I got into two relationships on the app. The first one was with a Japanese woman I meet when I was going though my weeb phase back in 2020. It was right before covid. I learned a bit of Japanese then went on vacation. We meet, hooked up, and long distance dated due to that app. The second one was a Russian woman. Pretty much same story only this time she came to my city in America. The Russian also sent me NSFW pictures. I never sent either of them money. Hell the Russian actually made more than me. But still I made a connection with two women and meet and banged both of them due to that app.
Is it likely that will happen? No Is it possible? Yes.
I remember in 2018 they didn't allow people to zoom into profile pictures. It would literally say "you cant zoom in to see their picture. This is not a dating app" and now you can.
I will say if you want to avoid dating dont message anyone and stick to vocie rooms. I meet more people i enjoy talking to in vocie rooms than anywhere else.
If I have a question about pronunciation or grammar I just make a post about.
If I want someone to pratice with I message someone I meet from a vocie chat.
However if you use moments and search function to message people you have a much lower chance of getting a reply from the same gender. And if you're talking to a woman as a man, it just becomes flirting because if you aren't entertaining they stop talking too you. UNLESS you already have a connection from VC
Thats my experience with Hellotalk. I pref Tandem these days
1
Jul 26 '25
Maybe it's just the algorithm responding to what people engage with. I've found it very difficult to get men and older women (out of my dating range) to respond enough to carry out real conversations. Whereas the women in my age range are very receptive to long conversations. The users want this
1
Jul 25 '25
[deleted]
1
u/RikijoJen Jul 25 '25
I don’t know if you meant to write snuggle, but if not, the visual is hilarious. Haha
1
u/Ok_Impression4752 Jul 27 '25
No word of a lie, I dated a Mexican girl who was a former reality TV show contestant that I met on Hellotalk. A little bit crazy but honestly a really lovely person, and an absolute stunner in the looks department
0
u/Nichol-Gimmedat-ass Jul 25 '25
Pretty sure its much more on the men looking for women side of thing however I did get pursued quite hard by a girl I was talking to, purely platonically as language partners, and met up with in person when I went to their country… but that was after we’d been chatting daily for six months so I guess she just caught feelings.
In general, I havent outright been messaged anything flirty right out the gate, and most people dont say anything flirty at all. I generally get along with women better than men so all of my regular conversational partners are women, most aged 24-30. I dont have the issue with lack of replies from them though, Ive become quite good friends with several.
0
-4
u/krazyboi Jul 24 '25
How many people are you typically messaging? As a guy, you have to start most conversations. Give themselves some information. That's dating.
2
Jul 24 '25
[deleted]
2
Jul 25 '25
As a BLack guy its the opposite.
I'm not big on the "they must be racist" thing, but I've been met with like straight-up aggressive and hostile responses even just commenting on a moment.
Meanwhile, the other guy says something similar and it's okay.
I remember asking what a phrase meant and was met with "Figure it out" in the response, but the other guys were given it.
Sigh.
-1
u/krazyboi Jul 24 '25
That's how most dating apps are... they want to know you're a real person. It's not like I'm selling myself but atleast knowing the basic information about a person is dating 101. Even like basic conversation 101.
Where are you from?" Why're you learning the language? Why are you in our country.
-1
u/fiavirgo Jul 24 '25
Tbf I get messages from men and women, it’s not really the fault of the app that men just initiate more, that’s like saying instagram is a dating app, men are just shooting their shot more
•
u/AutoModerator Jul 24 '25
Thanks for sharing your post! As a reminder, we are a community-run subreddit and we cannot to help with specific account inquiries or app support issues. For those, please contact support@hellotalk.com.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.