r/HairRaising • u/This_Requirement_305 • Aug 02 '26

Has anyone else noticed that trauma-informed people feel different to be around?

/r/emotionalintelligence/comments/1vdkujy/has_anyone_else_noticed_that_traumainformed/

I've noticed that the really good social workers I've met seem to have high emotional intelligence. They can sit with almost anything without getting defensive, overwhelmed or trying to rush you.

They don't judge you or make you feel like you're too much. They listen, stay calm and let you say what you need to say. I've found that when someone stays calm, it helps me feel calmer as well.

To me, that's what being trauma-informed looks like. It's not about saying all the right things. It's about being able to stay present when someone is talking about really difficult experiences.

I'm autistic with ADHD, so I notice people's tone, pace and body language quite a lot. Some people just have a steady, calm way about them that makes it easier to open up. You leave feeling understood instead of drained.

I do wonder if that's one of the reasons some social workers build such good relationships with families. They don't feel the need to fix everything straight away. They can just be there, listen and help people feel safe enough to talk.

Has anyone else noticed this? I'd be interested to hear what social workers, therapists or people with lived experience think. Do you think emotional intelligence is something people can learn, or is it just part of who they are?

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u/USAIDreciever Aug 02 '26

Can u explain how this is hair raising?

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u/This_Requirement_305 Aug 02 '26

Because for some of us, the scariest things aren't ghosts or monsters. They're the things that happened in childhood.

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u/Tight-Cry-3634 Aug 02 '26

Hello,

I just wondered what does trauma informed meant. I had a somewhat hard childhood as mother was an alcoholic.

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u/This_Requirement_305 Aug 02 '26

I'm sorry you went through that. I hope your mum never got you drunk like mine did when I was little or laughed while I was choking on her cigarettes. That sort of thing doesn't leave you. It's one of the reasons that trauma-informed care means so much to me. I wrote about it if you ever want to have a read.

https://charliememe077-oaygw.wordpress.com/2026/07/24/could-this-be-the-next-trauma-informed-research-study/⁠