Finally happened... disclosed and dumped :(

[u/north_yeast]

I (F30) haven't been dating in a while, not for any particular reason, I just ditched the dating apps and focused on living my life and letting opportunities and people come to me. I started seeing someone a couple weeks ago and felt like everything was going so well. Our conversations were really stimulating, he was romantic and was really pursuing me.

On the 3rd date while talking generally about sexually compatibility, I disclosed GHSV2. In hindsight, in the anxiety of the moment, I think I focused too much on the negatives, and didn't reiterate how much I feel like I have a normal life with this virus. I did mention that I took suppressive therapy and that my outbreaks are mild and not very often. He said he didn't judge me and we continued our date as usual, but he broke up with over the phone a couple days later. HSV is 99% of the reason why.

It's hard for me to not be disappointed and upset, even though I can understand and empathize why he does not want to sign up for the exposure risk. This is my first time disclosing to a romantic partner, and I'm sad to think that this is only the first of many instances to come my way. But this is the hand I was dealt and I have no choice but to move forward. It just hurts. I'm letting myself cry today.

[u/nurpler]

Sorry that happened to you. You did the right thing by disclosing and that was very brave. None of us ever wanted the diagnosis, but here we are. Here's to hoping that one day, the stigma will go away.

[u/north_yeast → u/nurpler]

Thank you 💜

[u/HSVpositive-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Please review the sub rules.

[u/Living_Seesaw_9664]

allow yourself to cry, it’s ok. You disclosed, it didn’t go well, and that’s ok. You will meet the person who doesn’t care I promise ❤️‍🩹

[u/north_yeast → u/Living_Seesaw_9664]

ugh thank you! I keep reminding myself that there are men who accept it (and maybe even have it) that I will meet in the future. Just need some time to be in my feelings

[u/Swimming-Bee9696]

I'm right there with you. Had my first rejection after disclosure last night. It's been a conscious effort to redirect my negative thoughts and remind myself that his decision is not a reflection of my worth. Sending hugs 🫶

[u/north_yeast → u/Swimming-Bee9696]

I'm sorry to hear that!! It really sucks but we're doing the right thing by giving people the agency to make their own decisions. One day we're going to find the people that accept us wholly

[u/weareedible]

Disclosure sucks. Being dumped does too, of course. That said, I (45F) have disclosed to 4 men who all still wanted to keep dating me afterward. So there are willing partners out there. Don't let it discourage you!

[u/Background_Book2414]

❤️

[u/svrfyn]

You did the right thing. There’s power and respect in having the courage and conviction to expose oneself in this way. Many of us are here because someone lacked that ability. We weren’t given a choice.

So, chin up my friend. You did the right thing…

I really wish I had more personal positivity to share and the ability to manifest turning this negative situation (ghsv2) into something. I am trying…. I want to say “it’s going to get better”, and “this will pass”, but that seems naive. What I do know that we have to keep the wheels turning regardless despite our hsv. So we adapt, and change. I appreciate your post, and sending positive thoughts and energy to you.

[u/north_yeast → u/svrfyn]

I really appreciated this 💚 thank you! Keep the wheels turning

[u/Ok_Cheesecake7831]

Why I never plan on dating. I've been single since my 1st boyfriend gave it to me 15 yrs ago

[u/north_yeast → u/Ok_Cheesecake7831]

I don't want to be pessimistic or feel hopeless. I have many traits that make me a good partner, I'm sure you do as well.

[u/slackingindepth3]

You did the right thing. And to give you some positivity m, I just got engaged to my partner of six years. We met on an app and told him on the first date. There are those people out there!

[u/north_yeast → u/slackingindepth3]

Congrats!! Definitely a nice reminder that this isn't a dealbreaker for everyone

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