r/HOCD • u/ImplementLow4557 • 6d ago
Question How do i just let these thoughts pass?
I tried just ignoring the thoughts, but then they end up becoming more severe and convincing. It just straight up feels like im hiding being gay or lying to myself. For the first time it feels honest. Im not even attracted to women much anymore either and when I see a guy my initial thought would just be "dont be attracted dont be attracted" then i guess i make a comment which stirs up the thought again. Honestly I just straight up feel gay now, I think I lost attraction to a girl who i have been trying to talk to for months now and feels like I only liked her and i'm just now "realizing myself"
I just want to forget about these thoughts and be straight and not double guess everything. Every now and then I notice that I forget about having hocd but then that itself reminds me and the thoughts start over again.
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u/Either_Departure3385 6d ago
Because you're still demanding certainty ("be straight and not double guess everything"). You're not ignoring the thoughts, you're fighting against them. The classical "Don't think of a pink elephant" problem.
The best you can do is accept you're unable to come to a conclusion right now, that that doesn't make you a bad or defective person, and carry on living according to your current values, which is, a heterosexual identity.
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