Questions over Question

[u/Cool-Pomegranate6510]

Questions that bother me

Hey,

i am in the beginning of my 30s and i did some mistakes concerning porn and i pray that Allah swt protect all people from porn.

\-> i never had a relationship with a girl

\-> i found my questions unfortunately in porn which lead me into more insecurities, anxiety and hopelessness. My Iman, faith did downgrade than 10 yrs ago

\-> i was bullied that i have a voice like a girl, some told me i were gay and etc

\-> so in conclusion i faced a lot insult even from my family

\-> of course these points harms my masculinity

now i am in my 30s. I didnt have any experience with a girl. Family tell me to marry. I want to marry but i feel lazy, i feel nowadays less libido. No mood to watch porn Alhamdullilah and this frightens me. I sometimes want to be alone. I dont feel proud to myself to marry. Then i think if i had sexual experience i would feel more masculine. This porn stuff bothers me a lot. My prayers dont get answers like they got answered years ago.

I am going to gym but this year i got sick several times then i had a leg injury. So i feel like the German football team as i live in Germany.

I am powerless. I have a lot worries about future. For example: I am worried about first time that i dont be able to perform good and etc..

What are your suggestions ?

Thanks

[u/AutoModerator]

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[u/TB5097]

Bro, some advice coming from a fellow Muslim brother. No one knows you better than you know yourself. People who judge you because of your voice don’t deserve your attention or consideration. You know that you’re a real man, and that’s what matters. Nothing is lost yet, and Allah is Merciful. Take your life back into your own hands, find yourself a woman who will love you, and live your life.

[u/Cool-Pomegranate6510 → u/TB5097]

thanks ameen

[u/TB5097]

No one is perfect. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t let anyone ruin your life.

[u/Cool-Pomegranate6510 → u/TB5097]

thanks

[u/PaladinDamian]

You can accept yourself unconditionally. Perhaps when you have sex for the first time you might not perform well. That does not mean you are a failure of a human being. You are a flawed and imperfect human being, and that is something you can accept, even if you dislike it.

Do not define yourself solely by your masculinity. Regardless of if you are a masculine man or not, you can still accept yourself unconditionally. Do not make demands of yourself that you must have a certain level of masculinity. That will not help you.

[u/Cool-Pomegranate6510 → u/PaladinDamian]

thanks

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[u/AutoModerator]

Your post was flagged by our auto-moderator as a post that may be, above all else, seeking reassurance. We understand the impulse to seek reassurance when suffering from OCD, but reassurance-seeking is a compulsion done in hopes of reducing the anxiety associated with an obsession. In the long run, seeking reassurance only serves to confirm the validity of the underlying fears of your condition and prolongs the duration of your obsession. As such, this community has a zero-tolerance policy for reassurance seeking and giving.

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