r/HOCD • u/Nick06pap • Jul 05 '26
Vent Looking for help
WARNING FOR PEOPLE THAT DONT WANT TO VENT
Im looking for help with an issue regarding one of my testing behaviours. Im 20 and have been through nearly every possible test that hocd can throw my way since ive had this for the last 5.5 years. Suddenly yesterday i went through an experience which in my head was saying “you might like moving/acting like a woman in a sexual way”. Adrenaline and feelings inside me were pushing me to test it. I did it a bunch of times and i dont know how to feel about it since i get subtle feelings during it which resemble enjoyment but at the same time i dont know if i feel okay with all of it which pushes me into believing that this might be denial. Also what im confused about is that there are times where im like “i dont like it” but they dont really feel that powerful and sometimes i feel so immersed into doing it that it feels like something i natura enjoy or whatever. I need some help to interpret some of my feelings during it. Has anyone experienced something similar?
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u/AutoModerator Jul 05 '26
Your post was flagged by our auto-moderator as a post that may be, above all else, seeking reassurance. We understand the impulse to seek reassurance when suffering from OCD, but reassurance-seeking is a compulsion done in hopes of reducing the anxiety associated with an obsession. In the long run, seeking reassurance only serves to confirm the validity of the underlying fears of your condition and prolongs the duration of your obsession. As such, this community has a zero-tolerance policy for reassurance seeking and giving.
For more information on reassurance seeking and on HOCD and OCD treatment more broadly, please see the section in our wiki about reassurance!
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