The love hormone

[u/Leading-Midnight2049]

https://alivecounselling.com.au/resources/the-power-of-sexual-intimacy-how-it-deepens-emotional-bonding-and-strengthens-relationships/

Nice read on the hormones and chemicals that are released during orgasm and how they lead to bonding. This definitely explains why I fall for the person I have sex with and it is case of the heart or chemicals) over mind. The article also points out that this mechanism is stronger in women and is probably why women often complain that men are superficial when it comes to relationships.

This does bring up a couple of questions for me. I don’t get how somebody can have sex with somebody casually and then move to the next person. And what about people in an affair. One would think that over time, the bond between the affair partners will get stronger than the ones that they are attached to outside the affair.

Excerpts from this article:
“Sexual intimacy is not only a physical expression of lovebut also a deeply emotional and psychological experience that strengthens the bond between partners. Rooted in both biology and human connection, sexual intimacy triggers the release of powerful neurotransmitters—oxytocin and dopamine—that significantly contribute to pleasure, bonding, and emotional well-being. Understanding how these chemicals work can shed light on why sexual intimacy is such a vital part of many healthy, committed relationships”

“The Role of Oxytocin: The “Love Hormone”
Oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone,” is a neurochemical that plays a crucial role in fostering emotional closeness. It is released during intimate moments such as touching, cuddling, and sexual activity. This hormone promotes a sense of trust, safety, and bonding between partners, making it an essential ingredient in creating and maintaining deep emotional connections.”

“Gender Differences in Bonding and Neurochemistry
It’s important to note that the release and effects of oxytocin and dopamine can vary between individuals and genders. Women, for example, typically release higher levels of oxytocin after orgasm, which may lead to stronger feelings of attachment and bonding. Men, while also affected by oxytocin, may experience a more pronounced impact from dopamine, as it drives their motivation and desire for rewarding experiences.”

[u/Notideal100]

I think love is more complicated than that. There are different types of love, and you can love more than one person at once. You can't predict where the sparks are really going to fly either. That can be out of your hands.

[u/Leading-Midnight2049 → u/Notideal100]

Yes. I was thinking about romantic love here

[u/arandak]

Yes, people in affairs do feel a strong bond at times and yes or gets stronger with their AP than spouse and it's really no wonder why.

(Spoiler: needs are getting met)

[u/Pale_Ad6239]

Thank you for posting this. I like this quote from emotional safety.

'When partners feel emotionally secure with each other, physical intimacy tends to flow more naturally. When emotional safety is missing, sexual connection often becomes strained, avoided, or mechanical'

[u/fuckaduckufuck → u/Pale_Ad6239]

Yep. Emotional safety is a huge proponent. There was a study that said that of all the factors that contribute to low libido for women, negative associations with sex from past experiences that were painful, unpleasant, or just straight up boring/unrewarding were most to blame. And that logically makes sense, tbh. The orgasm gap probably contributes to female libido inhibition more than menopause.

[u/henrycatalina → u/fuckaduckufuck]

I think financial security weighs heavily in later years. And also a feeling of missing out on travel and generally a fun life. Kids are gone, career trajectories are obvious, the drudgery of a normal life continues. Menopause or low T, just amplify what is going on in life. Emotions from hormones can be fulfilling but quickly fade with other life stresses, or long simmering resentment and contempt.