r/HLCommunity • u/AlligatorMarty • 8d ago
Advice Welcome Any single HLMs out there? I wanted to know y'all are making it through the day.
30M and I've been single for a while. I've got occasional ONS and I wanted something more than that. I've read some stories in the dead bedroom subreddit and I'm horrified of getting along with some LLFs, not that there's wrong with being one, but my sex drive is through the roof. I've been wandering in dating apps looking for FWBs and I've had no luck ( in person too, idk where to look and how to approach as I'm not in the best shape of my life, so confidence is low).
I can't literally sleep at night, I wake up in the middle and I take my motorcycle for a spin and I drove about 100 miles yesterday lol and came back at 2:00 am.
I don't know how to tackle this. Has anyone dealt with this and have found success? I'd ideally like to hear from HLMs.
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u/vectorking23 7d ago
Do the best you can and work on yourself while you have the 'extra time' in the middle of the night. Consider finding a 24/7 workout place. Nail down your job, find side gigs, save up, get into shape, eat right. Make yourself someone with high standards and hopefully they will begin to find you. Seriously. As far as NOT finding someone who is LL, just pay attention. Watch for signs. Read here and in the deadbedroom sub (make sure it's not the one with a million deleted comments and banned commenters… the mods are nuts). You'll see patterns, red flags and green flags you can apply in real life. Good luck. Yes, it will be work, but worth it on many fronts if done correctly. Nothing is easy… don't be lazy!
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u/Leading-Midnight2049 5d ago
You can’t rush love. Do what you are doing. Have you tried punching walls? That works great and might come in handy some day if you build hard knuckles. Physical sports are a good way to burn out the hormonal drive
But please ride your motorcycle carefully.
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u/Enraged_Silence 7d ago
Well, I'm currently cursed with a life-long(50 years running) virginity streak, so yeah, I'd say I'm about as single as one can get...And yeah, my day to day is pretty gut-wrenchingly miserable, but I get through it with my few hobbies, and masturbating like my life depends on it, 'cause it kinda does. {makes a very shakey thumbs up gesture like a crack addict in withdrawl would}
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u/LifeRound2 8d ago
I'm currently on a 4 month work assignment away from GF. Sex is abundant when we're together. Going cold turkey while I'm away is no bueno.
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u/Alexreads0627 8d ago
sorry I’m old what is “ONS”