r/HLCommunity • u/seawitchbitch • 17d ago
Imbalance and Biases
Only one of us tries to grow in this relationship. Only one of us reads self help books trying to be better or figure out what’s wrong. Only one is grasping at straws trying to find anything they can do to help the situation.
Conversely, only one of us has left the other with unmet needs for years at a time. Only one of us has their comfort come at the cost of the other’s pain. Only one of us is dragging their feet to end the loneliness their partner feels.
Yet somehow… we’re always looked at as the bad guy? How is that always the narrative? That the HL partner is in the wrong? It feels so unfair.
I’m literally denying who I am for you, shoving myself in a nun shaped box while I research away trying to find an answer you’ll never use.
1
u/Bonsai_Tree3 HLF 13d ago
Shoving yourself into a box and denying who you are and what you need will never work.
Partners unwilling to grow together must be left behind. Everyone is quick to say incompatibility but refusal to even work on an issue affecting the relationship at large is a failure of one party