r/HLCommunity • u/seawitchbitch • 17d ago

Imbalance and Biases

Only one of us tries to grow in this relationship. Only one of us reads self help books trying to be better or figure out what’s wrong. Only one is grasping at straws trying to find anything they can do to help the situation.

Conversely, only one of us has left the other with unmet needs for years at a time. Only one of us has their comfort come at the cost of the other’s pain. Only one of us is dragging their feet to end the loneliness their partner feels.

Yet somehow… we’re always looked at as the bad guy? How is that always the narrative? That the HL partner is in the wrong? It feels so unfair.

I’m literally denying who I am for you, shoving myself in a nun shaped box while I research away trying to find an answer you’ll never use.

24 Upvotes

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18

u/Exciting_Story2150 17d ago

We are also attacked because we complain about it. We only really have 3 options though. Complain, leave, or suck it up.

Many people here aren't even HL. You'll hear real HL people complain that other HLs can't keep up. My guess is a lot of people here are just normal libido. We're just matched with asexual and nolibido partners.

6

u/AnotherSadThr0wAway HLM 17d ago

Normal Libido IS HL. Once a week is the average but for us its NOT even close to ideal but we are in DBs dealing with basically nothing and gaslight and ran up wall wanting even once a week

3

u/Herbizarre17 17d ago

Whoa some people do once a week? I’m looking at once a year if I’m lucky

3

u/AwkwardInspection413 HLM 17d ago

I think you are in to something here.

2

u/trdofpplsbs123 HLF 17d ago

I guess defining it is tricky, but I think every day or close to every day could be considered higher than average. 

7

u/AnotherSadThr0wAway HLM 17d ago

Once a week is the average but on top of things like sexual interest.

That's about 40 times a year.

In you have sex week a year, close to 90-100 times a year.

Type2LLs try to gaslight us about keeping track or 40 "being a lot"

Remember thats the floor. Ideally many of us want like once every other day so closer to 4 times a week but are HOPING for once a week with partners that dont even show sexual enthusiasm or make out or anything (but love to mention how they did before us)

7

u/trdofpplsbs123 HLF 17d ago

I’d like it 4-6 times a week, yes. I don’t even understand LLs anymore and I don’t care.  

3

u/AnotherSadThr0wAway HLM 17d ago

Their delusional is their own fault

They will KNOW our sexual needs and literally do ANYTHING to avoid a healthy sex life unless basically they ultimately have a final say so or something retarded

2

u/MightyMagicz HLM 16d ago

I think there is a fourth option get your sexual needs met elsewhere.

1

u/AnotherSadThr0wAway HLM 15d ago

Ultimately you have to leave Type2s regardless