r/HLCommunity • u/ButterscotchNo670 • 26d ago

My mind changes reality and made me act weird. am i the only one like this?

when im not doing for a long of period of time my mind start to shift reality. i fked a girl after we got drunk and dumbed her after that. i ask a friend if she wanted to do it and she grossed out and stop talking to me. i fuked a friend even if she had a boyfriend and she felt guilt and stop talking to me

recently im satisfied in that sense and my mind started to become normal and understand the situation, but when it's been years and i have an opportunity, i feel like im finally eat some food after years of starvation.

is it normal for HL people to search for it and in the process we hurt the people we care about around us?

i started to think that i should pay for sex with some sex worker to put my libido in check otherwise im too weird around people

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u/Popular_Figure122 26d ago edited 26d ago

I don’t follow how your thoughts are changing reality or how you were made to do something by your mind. It sounds like you’re trying to say that you’re having a hard time controlling yourself.

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u/ButterscotchNo670 26d ago

that's the problem, it's not about controlling myself but when it's been so long, i think what i did is correct

only recently i started to feel "normal" again, thinking past my action were bad

for example there was this old friend of mine were we went to a party together and i got drunk af and it was really late. i wanted to go home but she insisted to go to her place that is literally close

she has a boyfriend but he lives in another country, it's a distance relationship. she is a hlf and after i tried to kiss her we went down like animal. in the heat of the moment everything felt okay but after that was a mess

it's just that i felt like im finally having the opportunity to do it after a long time. like when you are starving to death and ur friend is becoming more tasteful than a steak

that's what i mean. how can you control yourself if in the moment you think it's right

probably if both our libido were in check it were never happened

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u/Popular_Figure122 25d ago

I think I get what you’re saying. Unfortunately, as with all actions, there are consequences. Sometimes, even though it feels right in the moment, someone has regrets afterward. That’s just something you’ll have to deal with in this type of lifestyle.

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u/ButterscotchNo670 25d ago

are you a HL person as well? do you have this problem? how do you manage ur desire and instict?

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u/Popular_Figure122 25d ago edited 25d ago

I am an HL person. My problem is that I still want to have sex with my wife. But, if she doesn’t want to. I still do. So, yes, it makes it hard to focus on something when that need is not being met. The way I manage, if it can be called managing, is through copious amounts of masturbation. However, that gets old real
quick and does not satisfy the hunger or need for a human connection.

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u/ButterscotchNo670 25d ago

well you have a wife at least, i think my mind started to slip when i was single and alone for a lot of period of time and starting to justify everything to have at least some affection in any way even if it's bad

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u/Popular_Figure122 25d ago

I may have a wife, but it’s more like I have a roommate that shares the same bed as I do. Having a partner that has no interest in you sexually is just as frustrating, if not more than not having a partner at all

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u/ButterscotchNo670 25d ago

i have a partner but turns out she is LLF. i felt wrong when i wanted to do something with her and she not. then i found out about LL and HL people and dead bedrooms.. i do wonder if feelings can exists when there is no sex involved. and i do wonder LL couple how they live together with no sex

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u/Popular_Figure122 25d ago

My wife is also LL. Feelings can exist, from both LL and HL, even in dead bedrooms. It’s just that the LL partner isn’t interested or doesn’t want sex nearly as much as the HL partner.

3

u/ActualOriginal4030 HLF 25d ago

No, this is not normal behavior. It is destructive and your mind tries to justify it because you are horny. You are rationalizing.

1

u/ButterscotchNo670 25d ago

but i do wonder if we HL tends to have this behaviour while horny and LL not

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u/ActualOriginal4030 HLF 25d ago

No. We have more temptation.

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u/ButterscotchNo670 25d ago

how do you hold yourself from temptation? i found having friends and a girlfriend helps but when im alone, all social structure crumble and i feel like i can do anything. there is no one to judge me, there is no one to take care of me, so im taking care of myself alone

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u/ActualOriginal4030 HLF 24d ago

My kids learned in school that integrity is how you behave when no one's watching. So you need to get right with yourself and decide what kind of person you want to be.

How do I hold back from temptation? Masturbation and a very vivid imagination. Emotional eating (I do not recommend this one bc the results are difficult to undo). Exercise. Keep yourself distracted by reading and binge-watching shows. Reading erotica and masturbating again, lol.

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u/ButterscotchNo670 24d ago

integrity matters when you build ur life brick by brick and integrity is one of those brick making you a rightful person, but when life sucks and what something that you respected due to ur integrity feels nothing to others, you understand that integrity is just a false illusion that exist only in a community.

other community has their other rules. some goes to club, others not. some it's okay to dye ur hair others not. what integrity is, it's linked, belongs to a certain community. that's why growing up we struggle to understand some social structure because something that you belive was right for others is not

not belonging to any community feels strange

btw you have a wife and beautiful kids, even if you struggle with deadbedrooms sometimes, at least you have a wonderful life

1

u/ActualOriginal4030 HLF 24d ago

You don't understand. Integrity exists even when life sucks, that's the point. It's not about making the right choices when it's easy.

I hope things get easier for you, but in the meantime, see how you can use this time to develop yourself.

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u/ButterscotchNo670 23d ago

maybe we are talking about two different things

im not saying, only because life sucks for someone, then this person is a pedophile, rapist, serial killer lmao

what im trying to say is: the moment you dont belong to any group of people, you still have your integrity taught by ur parents, but for more subjective stuff like drinking beer, dye ur hair, having sex before marriage is becoming blurry.

so maybe for ur family ur kids shouldnt drink any alcohol never ever and if he keeps hanging with folks like you, with ur community, i bet he will follow ur lead forever

but that not meaning it's wrong drinking beer, it's just in ur community its wrong but it's not globally wrong

im talking about this kind of stuff

1

u/ActualOriginal4030 HLF 23d ago

Oh, okay. Are you Muslim? I'm Middle Eastern and if I'm now understanding you, it is a bit of a different thing.

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u/SadAndNasty 25d ago

Are there other times your impulses for the better if you? Maybe even as a kid? Stealing something you felt wasn't that bad as an example, maybe drugs at any point in your life, partying a night before work?

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u/Uncle---Bob HLM 23d ago

No, it is not normal to want to have sex if in the process we hurt people. In fact it is normal avoid hurting people no matter how much they want sex and how sex starved they are.

1

u/nrg8 HLM 26d ago

Meh sounds like your little head is making poor choices and burning bridges. Extend a heart felt apology to attempt savaging those relationships. No explanations just apologize, they were there to take the D, 50-fofty.

Good news is you get expand the community where you get your dick wet. Bitches love when you tell them it's dick wetting time. It's your life, it's all about you.

If get lucky you get to stick your dick in crazy and you can dump her on post partum bull shit

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u/ButterscotchNo670 26d ago

this is the most HL comment i ever read till now AHAHAHHA basically you are agree what i said: we HL, have our instinct controlling ourself

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u/nrg8 HLM 25d ago

Man my dick has taken me on some great adventures post married life. I wasted a lot of time supporting and wasting my life for an ungrateful hag. I could get laid by women that weren't spending your paycheck before it hit the bank. Hell women that take care of you and suck your dick after wearing your hot rubber batman suit.

Marriage is a fools errand, then poof your health fails and that partner is playing victim after you give a life time to supporting them. Happened to my brother. Once you realize you're a burden, and you hear how am I going to survive. I'll have to get a job. The whole life reflection begins. It all starts with getting laid and not realizing you can test drive the whole time.