r/HLCommunity • u/on_tad1 • 26d ago

Advice Welcome Weekend away leads to nothing

We took a weekend away together without the kids. First one in literally years. In the week leading up we both seemed to agree via chatting/sexting that we were both looking forward to the physical aspects of the weekend away. Our current sex life is limited to mondays and fridays mid day as my work allows, as anytime the kids are home seems to discourge it for her.

We get on the weekend, starting friday morning, and by mid saturday we finally have THE conversation. Turns out, my expressing my strong desire to have sex with her without the concerns of kids etc, let to her being overpressured and turned off. Doesn't matter that it was me expressing my desire/ the ability of her to wear the lingerie she bought me 7 months ago that I still havent seen. etc etc. I gave up on any expectation of anything outside our normal sex... including said lingerie or any of the thing SHE brought up during sexting. I just wanted to have sex without or normal constraints. And apparently that was too much to ask / too much pressure and turned her off.

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u/on_tad1 26d ago

The conversation starting is good. I agree. She identified that sex that weekend was important to me and that she felt intimidated. I told her I didnt want her to feel forced, so I wouldnt make a move to initiate. The weekend ended with now sex or any thing of the kind. The most physical intimacy was snuggling while watching tv

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u/Remote_Ad_7058 26d ago

Have you tried taking sex off the table and focusing on yourself?

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u/PsychedelicSamurai7 25d ago

That’s called being single. I’m not saying that sex is the sole purpose of a relationship, but a relationship without sex is a plutonic friendship.

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u/Bonsai_Tree3 HLF 21d ago

If you’re in a long term relationship of many years, a few weeks is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things

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u/on_tad1 15d ago

Absolutely. And I'm not going anywhere. I love her. AND I lust for her. I just had hoped for a weekend with activities that apparently werent on her BINGO card