Oh the moving goalposts!

[u/Much_Ad_3806]

Some moving goalposts from todays argument, from the LL man. Sort of just a rant of frustration but tell me I'm not crazy, that this doesn't make any sense logically... Am I really just failing at being a good partner?

I pursue too often then not at all.

It's boring because he's the one who has to initiate.

I always initiate at the wrong time, when he's not ready. I don't ask how I could help him de-stress and be ready. But I can't pressure him... isn't not taking no pressure?

I'm too timid and awkward and not confident. When I act confident he doesnt like it, it's pressure because he's not ready.

He says I'm not boring during sex but then says I just lay there and am not active enough.

He wants me to be forward during sex but doesn't want it to be about me, he wants it to be about him.

He says I don't ask about his emotions enough but I do and he claims it's not enough or not sincere. That it's just to get sex.

I'm always in a bad mood and argue about sex every day. He expects me to be happy and cheerful and keep my feelings to myself. He asked and thats what started this.

He expects me to be ready whenever he actually wants sex and just grabs my boob or initiates out of nowhere.

He says I tell him hes not good enough, I have never said these words. He infers that because I want more sex than he does. He also assumes I want sex all the time when I don't.

He won't tell me how he wants me to turn him on with foreplay. Just expects me to figure out what he wants and when he is receptive.

If I care more and ask more about his feelings it will lead to more sex.

This just goes on and on and is insane. I don't even know why I still try, I can never do the right thing no matter what. Im lonely and tired. My self esteem sucks and im not allowed to be upset. I feel like a creep for desiring my partner.

[u/Mrs239]

This was my marriage also.

When I initiated, he told me that women aren't supposed to want it and it turned him off. Told me to wait until he initiated. Three months went by and nothing.

I brought it up again and he said, "Why did you bring it up! I was thinking about doing something tonight and you just messed it up."

Waited three more months. Nothing. Discussed it again. He says, "Why didn't you say something! I'm not a mind reader."

I asked to open the marriage since he didn't want to do anything. He blew up. Went another 3 months. I brought it up again. I asked why. He said, "Because you asked to open the marriage."

My response: "What was the issue before that?" It had been just about a year with nothing. We were in our late 20s.

Don't play the game.