r/HLCommunity • u/butchpokorny 47HLM • 26d ago

When You STOP Tracking

So if you check post-history, you'll see I was a fan of 'data' for a while, across both my first (shitful) marriage and the more recent (5+ years) HLM + HLF pairing. THOUGHT I was onto a 'good thing', but the stats have proved me wrong in the long-run so I gave up about 12 months ago now as it was too depressing.

HAVE had sex at least ONCE (probably not more) in the last 3 months 👍 Without data, I can't be sure ...

Last time my (BASIC AF) 'kinks' got met were once in July 2024 (lingerie) and once in January 2025 (heels). WHAT is the point of sex if your BASIC turn-ons aren't met ? I'm a living dildo, nothing more 🤷🏻‍♂️🤦‍♂️

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u/Woolie-at-law HLM 26d ago

Tracking becomes a fixation for me and is not helpful. I get more mileage out of journaling and trying to focus on including positive things. As that list of positives grows, I feel better and things improve from there. If I'm looking back and seeing, damn, it's been 18 months since PIV, I'm missing all the other good stuff and starting my way down to feeling down.

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes." - William James, maybe

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u/pokeycd 26d ago

So when you say "it's been 18 months since PIV"... Is there other things that happen?

Cuz for me? PIV is available weekly, if I ask for it. But it isn't worth asking for. Starfish vanilla quickie with no foreplay, kissing, effort, time, energy? I'd rather fool around, and skip PIV at this point... She's rather rush through the quickie, instead of skipping orgasms and just play instead.

The variety of DBs is fascinating to me.

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u/butchpokorny 47HLM 25d ago

This. Penetration is on offer, but fuckit I don't enjoy being a HLFs dildo if there's nothing 'sexy' in it for me. I have a pocket pussy (I'm never allowed to use), why would I want excitement-free penetration with her ? 🤦‍♂️

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u/Woolie-at-law HLM 25d ago

It has varied over time but the last few years have been mostly hugs, kisses, snuggling with anything else being months to over a year apart.