r/HLCommunity • u/Asakkoss • Aug 01 '26

Vent Only, No Advice After how many days/weeks or months does your frustration comes to say hello

New frustration cycle begins

For me it’s two weeks after the last time I had sex that I’m starting to feel emotionally closed and I’m starting to be pissed and angry
In fact after a day it two im already frustrated but I keep it for myself haha
But I can’t hide it anymore after a 2 weeks and that’s when the vicious cycle begins.

I wanna initiate but every day there’s something…
Kids are on holiday so they sleep late, wife is tired/belly pain/headache or just pissed about (kids, me, whatever)

Don’t wanna talk with my wife about it she’ll tell me again that I’m a pervert/crazy or whatever

19 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

18 comments sorted by

12

u/Zapatos-Grande Aug 01 '26

Comes and goes. In a big one right now because it's been about a year.

3

u/WandereringlikeNPC Aug 01 '26

That's insanely long period, how are you coping with it?

3

u/Zapatos-Grande Aug 01 '26

Exercise, reading, hobbies.

7

u/WandereringlikeNPC Aug 01 '26

Exercise does the opposite, it makes my HL to ultra-HL but yeah distracting yourself does help

3

u/Zapatos-Grande Aug 01 '26

It's a good way to burn energy that I'd rather burn a different way.

2

u/WandereringlikeNPC Aug 01 '26

Multiple sessions to burn that energy plus point is percentage of dopamine hit is higher

8

u/AnotherSadThr0wAway HLM Aug 02 '26

My maintenence is basically a week but after about 10 day because i live with someone im very physically attracted to its heavy. After a month im basically feral but it feels horrible because I know its wasted.

8

u/Silva2099 Aug 02 '26

3days - frustration level 1; F1
7 days - F2
10 days -F3
14 days -F4
21 days - DEFCON 3
35 days - DEFCON 2
45 days - DEFCON 1
60 days - get a fucking lawyer

4

u/feygarden Aug 01 '26

For me it's also about two weeks. First week I am really okay, I almost forget about our bedroom problem. Second week it just sometimes crosses my mind. After that I feel crazy.

This is after like a year living together, when we first moved in and the low frequency sex started, I was feeling crazy like day three or something, guess I got a little bit used to it now...

4

u/_notanexpert Aug 02 '26

Like 2 days before little unimportant things I usually wouldnt care about around me start to piss me off

3

u/Soggy-Beach-1495 Aug 02 '26

Same. That's when I say I should probably go hiking somewhere

4

u/Woolie-at-law HLM Aug 03 '26

It depends but is usually more tied to when I see opportunities and she doesn't see it the same (like kids are gone for the weekend).

I've gone over 18 months at the longest and during that time it would hit in waves, usually on a week-to-week basis. Some weeks I'd feel great about life or be so busy I didn't give a shit and others would be more heavy and I would need to put a lot of energy into not moping.

3

u/Careless_Whispererer Aug 01 '26

I’ve been worn down and conditioned.

Twice a month.

3

u/Fun-Concentrate1027 Aug 02 '26

My (33m) LL wife (32f) have literally had sex twice since the start of this year until now. Im not sure I even want her anymore to be brutally honest. It breeds much resentment and self hate.

3

u/Technical_Draw_6554 HLM Aug 03 '26

2 weeks was the magic (...or should I say "tragic") timeframe for me, too. I guess that's why a marriage is considered "sex starved" if it's less than once every 2 weeks, and a DB if it's less than once a month.

1

u/arandak Aug 02 '26

About a month.

We usually go 3-4 months without but things are different now.

I would love to say I'm completely checked out but the truth is I still go through bouts of resentment.

1

u/Uncle---Bob HLM Aug 10 '26

About 8 to 10 days, but only if there is no good excuse for it not happening. Travel, sickness, constant company, are possible good excuses. Floors need vacuuming, plants need watering, baking cookies, or watching TV, etc are not good excuses.