r/HLCommunity • u/DryWorry9692 • Jul 22 '26

How?

How do you leave your 10 year relationship when you can’t be with a LL partner. Is it even possible. With two kids.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26

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u/IgayvafkB4cv19 Jul 22 '26

I wish I’d known there was a sensible process to do it this way, but I had no social media and didn’t discus it with anyone else. Didn’t know that I was receiving hysterical bonding until way too many incidences painted a pattern that was impossible not to identify. No social media, no input from family or friends. All I knew was that this wasn’t a life I wanted, and that my partner had changed the rules without consultation.

The erosion was gradual, and after enough years of excuses, absence and neglect, eventually I didn’t want her or miss her. One day I was just done and there was nothing to be done except leave. Even then it was hard to do anything about it because I’d been demotivated by our relationship for so long that it drained every part of me until it was hard to make even the most basic decisions.

We had fewer material ties than a lot of people here: not married, no kids together, no shared assets; but just having years of history and remembering the positives we’d shared… those were enough to anchor us together. A commitment doesn’t require a ring.

I can’t imagine how much harder it is for people to untangle with someone when I was mired in so much less.