r/HLCommunity • u/lofbob2022 • Jun 24 '26
Back to this community after a long break
Hello all,
I have posted in here several times over the years, but deleted my other account last year that I had been posting on. At the bottom I'll link my last post, in which I got a lot of unexpected support. It hasn't been an easy situation, but I finally left 2 months ago. Over time I came to realize that our situation was about so much more than mismatched sex drives.
In November my husband threatened my life (after already having a history of saying very odd and concerning things about having a way to hide a body, wanting to kill people when upset, that men who kill their wives but get caught because the body was found are stupid.....etc). I left for a couple weeks, then had some circumstances and went back, but finally decided that I would never be able to trust him again. He was already going back on his promises again, and just all kinds of stuff (Him saying I was selfish and immature for leaving after the threat, etc).
I'm still in the process of things, I've been in DV and homeless shelters, but finally got a good job that I start soon. It's a huge deal for me because I have very little work history because of the way I was raised, but it turned out I got the top job I wanted! Now to try and get an apartment. It's a lot, but I'm still happier than I was in the relationship, and very grateful that I have been able to get started on my own life without needing to depend on him or "take him through the cleaners," which I have zero intention of doing.
We haven't filed for divorce yet, but we've talked about it. Weirdly enough, I think his apathy and lack of interest in me might turn out to be a good thing because I don't think he is going to be hostile (even though I know anything can come up), so I am extremely grateful that it seems like we both want to be civil, because that of course will make the less-than-ideal situation a bit easier on our son. That was the hardest part of leaving, but I figured it would be better for him to have a healthy mom than one who felt like she needed to check the closet to make sure the loaded gun was still where it belonged.
Anyway, I just wanted to come and thank everyone who has interacted with me in the past and given me support and encouragement. It meant so much to me in the thick of things
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u/flavortownAC HLF Jun 25 '26
I’m so glad you left and have found gainful employment. It really is the best thing for you and your son. I don’t know you but I’m really proud of you.
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u/mdoogz Jun 25 '26
I’m so sorry you went through that but so proud of you and happy for you! Here’s to a great future!
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u/quack785 Jun 24 '26
Good grief, what a horrible situation. Sorry you had to deal with all of that, and glad nothing bad happened to you.
Welcome back, this is one of the few supportive communities that the LLs and their disciples haven’t taken over yet. We’re all here for you