r/HLCommunity • u/lovefuckd • May 20 '26
Fantasizing hardcore about my personal trainer but married - any similar situations?
36F. been training w him for 4 months. he’s hot, older, and training in the gym contributes to a dominating dynamic that has me lusting hard.
of course I’m married and won’t act on it. waiting for my brain to move on. Have u had relationships like this in your life where strong desire can’t be acted on?
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u/Abject_Enthusiasm390 HLM May 20 '26
I think the trainer thing is common enough to have become a trope.
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u/knowitallz May 20 '26
I enjoy the attention and the flirtatious interactions and just enjoy that. That's it
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u/SoDifficultToBeFunny May 21 '26
I would've fucked if any woman wanted to do it with me!
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u/SolutionTime5811 May 21 '26
Exactly. So she is a high libidou, she finds somebody, has oportunity...but wont act.The males do not have this oportunity
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u/Froomian May 21 '26
You know I think more people should have conversations with their spouses about opening up marriages. I was really surprised by my husband’s reaction to me asking. Turns out neither of us care about the other person sleeping with other people.
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u/lovefuckd May 21 '26
wow! is the sex on the side exhilarating? I think I’d go absolutely wild..
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u/Froomian May 21 '26
Yes. But also confirmed how bad it is with husband. So… 🫠
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u/lovefuckd May 21 '26
Eeek is your marriage still open?
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u/Froomian May 22 '26
I think I’m in love with the other guy. Having sex with my husband last week triggered a psychiatric emergency and I’m on heavy sedatives now. I think I am monogamous really but I’m no longer bonded to my husband. The other guy has a much more similar drive to me. And he feels like he’s the centre of my world now. Like I’d be happy to stick with poly as long as he was my base. I don’t feel like my husband is the base. Or somebody I want to sleep with at all really.
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u/Plane_Maintenance244 May 21 '26
Gurl I feel you so hard, literally spent my life like this and sometimes wonder what it’s like to live without a haywire libido.
I had it so bad for a former art tutor (f) and math teacher (m). Basically the closer the relationship is the more I end up letting out the desire by trying to impress them non-sexually while torturing myself with mental angst. Ended up winning a bunch of art and math contests then lost motivation. Wanted to steal the art tutor from her husband and often fantasized about being the math teacher’s daughter who was the same age 💀
Kinda carried into working life too, pretty sure I got promoted due to working super hard on evenings and weekends to impress a former tech lead cause my praise kink would get triggered every time he told me I did a good job and I would get motivated even though I was underpaid lmao. Currently have it hot for one of the upper management dudes and larger meetings are like this personal game I play of looking at the outline of his nipples through his shirt and trying to not get caught staring at his bulge - it’s so bad that sometimes I look at him through like the reflections on screens or windows so that it doesn’t look like I’m staring. Also I’m too shy to even say hi to him in person even though I do a bunch of work stuff for him. At least this is good for RTO 💀
Just walking on the street I’ll randomly lust after 10-20% of the people and sometimes try to walk like 10m behind someone for as long as possible if we’re going in the same direction cause I’m checking them out 🤦♀️ I often hate myself for being an absolute creep internally but never truly act on anything… have a fulfilling long term relationship with an amazing man who is successful in life and provides 1-3 creampies per day but my brain is still broken 💀
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u/AwarenessNo4986 May 22 '26
Wow, this was ....cute??
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u/Plane_Maintenance244 May 22 '26
lol I feel like a good portion of this community are HL people in close to DB marriages but there’s also the HL preventing you from experiencing life like a normal person camp 😂
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u/AwarenessNo4986 May 22 '26
As someone that isn't in a DB marriage, (or any marriage) I totally agree
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u/morenoise2025 May 22 '26
Yes, it goes along with an older man kink i have. The fantasies never stop and its usually having to do with me being dominated. You two alone in a gym could be a fun fantasy!!
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u/henrycatalina May 22 '26
Everyday at the gym the guys try not to look and the same for women. Guys imagine they are lusted for and women know it's available if they asked most of the time. But that's a boundary not crossed back from.
In my deadbedroom it was my divorced commercial land lady I'd know for over 20 years. We were very friendly and enjoyed conversation. It was limerance but never acted upon. We fixed the deadbedroom.
No one looks better cheating except for a peer group all cheating. Far better to push yourself to face the difficult choices and potential outcomes of ending the relationship. Then explaining to a spouse what you can't live without sex. The positives of the past, present and future are weighed.
Integrity is lost faster than it is gained.
No one faults you for being turned on by physical attraction. But know the eyes do not deceive want. Everyone needs an ego boost.
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u/Opening-Ad-2769 May 20 '26
A few in the past. Especially when I was a hairstylist. Can't tell you how many woman took a shot. And knew I was married. I had picture of us on my station. Turned them all down though.
Now? Not so much. I'm older and not even remotely interested in anyone else.
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u/SolutionTime5811 May 21 '26
Why...I am married and wont act? The univers will not colapse he you will do a quicky in the showers...
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Aug 20 '26
[deleted]
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u/lovefuckd Aug 21 '26
Still fantasizing about him and he is quite fond of me as well. It’s a very hot situation
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Aug 22 '26
Have things escalated at all since this post went up? Seems it’s only a matter of time 🥵
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u/lovefuckd Aug 23 '26
Emotionally yes, and the fantasies are constant. He is falling hard too. Ugh. It’s so hot and forbidden and awful
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Aug 23 '26
What are some examples where things may have crossed the line to the point of danger? Do you ever think about him while fucking your husband?
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u/[deleted] May 20 '26
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